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Al-Qaeda, established in Pakistan by Osama bin Laden, has earned a reputation as one of the most notorious and despised terrorist organizations globally. Since its creation in 1988, Al-Qaeda has acted as 'the base' for global jihad, and its actions have frequently made headlines. However, when they're not in the news for attacks, Al-Qaeda members are also known for concocting business plans, coming up with bizarre schemes, and behaving in unexpected ways. For instance:
10. They Sometimes Express Regret
While Al-Qaeda is not exactly celebrated for its empathy, following a successful attack, the group's leaders typically release a video rejoicing in their victory, condemning American imperialism, and calling for death to the infidels. However, there have been rare occasions where Al-Qaeda has shocked the world by issuing a public apology, saying, 'We’re sorry.'
We’ve previously learned about how Al-Qaeda operatives in Syria accidentally beheaded one of their own, causing tension and a hasty apology. But apologizing to colleagues is quite different from apologizing to adversaries. One feels awkward, while the other is deeply humiliating. Despite the embarrassment, Al-Qaeda once expressed regret for an operation that went awry.
In 2013, the Saudi faction launched an attack on the Defense Ministry in Yemen. Frustrated by recent US drone strikes, they believed it was justified to vent their anger on the Yemeni government. However, their leader, Qassim al-Raimi, issued clear orders to avoid a nearby hospital. Unfortunately, one of his men either didn’t get the message or chose to ignore it, resulting in the deaths of 52 patients and staff members.
Targeting hospitals is never a good move for public relations, and al-Raimi decided to make amends. In a video released by Al-Qaeda’s media outlet, Al-Malahim, al-Raimi stated that the attack contradicted Al-Qaeda’s principles. 'We admit to this mistake and the fault,' he acknowledged, expressing condolences and even offering compensation to the victims’ families. What a thoughtful gesture!
Al-Raimi’s video is just one in a growing list of strange apologies from the group. In 2009, Al-Qaeda apologized for killing Muslims, and in 2007, bin Laden himself expressed regret for the deaths of Muslims in Iraq. Of course, these videos are likely more about managing their public image than genuine remorse. They attempt to obscure the fact that Al-Qaeda kills more Muslims than non-Muslims. Between 2004 and 2008, Muslims accounted for 85 percent of the group’s casualties. For an organization supposedly defending the faithful, that’s a troubling statistic.
9. They Spend A Surprising Amount of Time on Paperwork
Most people dread office tasks. Sorting through forms, staring at spreadsheets for hours on end… it’s exhausting work. But compared to the daily grind of an Al-Qaeda operative, your standard 9-to-5 job is a walk in the park. Their superiors are like extreme versions of Bill Lumbergh, constantly demanding that employees complete mountains of expense reports.
Al-Qaeda’s obsession with documentation traces back to 1976, when bin Laden studied economics in college. In the '90s, he ran Sudan’s most influential corporation, where he implemented a strict policy requiring workers to document every purchase, no matter how trivial. These old habits stuck, and when he founded “the Base,” he chose to run it like a corporate entity.
Whether it’s purchasing a stockpile of weapons or a bottle of mustard, Al-Qaeda operatives must secure receipts for every single expense. When UN Peacekeepers searched a deserted base in Timbuktu, they discovered over 100 receipts for mundane items like soap, macaroni, glue, and even a broom. This meticulous record-keeping isn’t limited to Mali—cells in Somalia, Afghanistan, and Iraq all religiously track their spending, documenting every penny.
Beyond tracking purchases, Al-Qaeda also maintains extensive files on budgets, job applications, salaries, and even internal memos from their HR department. Yes, you read that correctly—Al-Qaeda has an HR department. While this corporate-like structure may seem absurd, it serves two crucial functions. First, it ensures the organization runs smoothly since terrorism, in many ways, is a business. Second, it allows the leadership to monitor their foot soldiers. With most Al-Qaeda cells operating with minimal oversight, requiring members to submit invoices in triplicate helps keep them in check.
Things can go south quickly if you don’t follow the rules. Or, at the very least, you’ll get a serious reprimand. Mali-based jihadist Moktar Belmoktar was far from a model employee. He regularly missed meetings and ignored important calls. What’s worse, he skipped over necessary paperwork. Frustrated by his behavior, the North African leaders sent Belmoktar a 12-page letter reprimanding him for his lack of work ethic, criticizing him for multiple infractions, like accepting a $900,000 ransom instead of the agreed-upon $3 million. Ultimately, Belmoktar felt restricted by Al-Qaeda and decided to create his own terrorist organization. Even terrorists want to run the show themselves.
8. They Host Family Events
How would you describe Al-Qaeda in a single word? Did you choose “radical,” “fundamentalist,” or “evil”? Most likely, you didn’t think of “fun.” However, despite their strict interpretation of Sharia law, Al-Qaeda knows how to let loose. In 2013, two Al-Qaeda factions (one Syrian, one Iraqi) decided to take a break from fighting the Syrian government and hosted a family fair.
The event was a spectacle, featuring several fun activities, including a tug-of-war between Iraqi and Syrian terrorists. The jihadists organized an ice cream-eating contest for the boys and, proving their commitment to gender equality, a Quran recitation competition for the girls. Alongside the games, there was no shortage of food, with terrorists distributing bread to hungry children. As strange as it may seem, the approach was quite effective. Feed the kids, treat them to ice cream and games, and you become their heroes.
Encouraged by the success of the first festival, the Iraqi group organized another event later that year. This time, they handed out Spiderman dolls and, incredibly, Teletubbies. Who would’ve imagined that Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po were actually covert Al-Qaeda operatives?
7. They Publish Online Magazines
Pursuing your ambitions can be a tough journey. How do you begin? Where do you start? Many young terrorists are in the same boat. All they want is to wage a holy war against the West, but they have no idea how to make a pipe bomb. Fortunately, there’s Inspire, an online magazine offering a step-by-step guide to blowing up apartments and creating chaos in the streets.
Created by Al-Qaeda militants Anwar al-Awlaki and Samir Khan (both of whom met their end via drone strikes), Inspire features articles such as “What to Expect in Jihad” and “Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom,” written by the aptly named “AQ Chef.” In the magazine’s debut issue, even high-ranking figures like bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri contributed columns. While some of the content provides practical guidance, others are a bit more outlandish. One piece gave instructions on how to attach knives to the front of a pickup truck, turning it into “the ultimate mowing machine.” Another article proposed setting parked cars on fire or greasing sharp turns to cause devastating car crashes.
Al-Qaeda even has an online magazine for women. Named al-Khansaa after an Arab poet, this pink-and-peach-themed site tackles important female topics like the right way to raise future terrorists. “We will stand covered in our veils and abayas,” the magazine proclaims, “with our weapons in our hands and our children in our arms!”
It might sound absurd, especially after MI6 hacked Inspire and replaced its articles with cupcake recipes. However, these magazines are a real threat. Al-Khansaa provides mothers with advice on how to indoctrinate their children. Even more troubling, Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev admitted that he and his brother learned how to make explosives by reading Inspire. It’s all fun and games until someone blows up a building.
6. They Kill Elephants
Like any other organization, Al-Qaeda requires funds. After all, fighting against the West doesn’t come cheap. Since their former leader never used his wealth to support the group, Al-Qaeda has had to rely on the generosity of others, accepting donations from radical mosques and sympathetic leaders. They've even tricked charities into giving them money. But Al-Qaeda members aren’t opposed to a little hard work, and if a lucrative illegal business opportunity arises, they’re more than happy to seize it.
Recently, entrepreneurial terrorists have been raking in millions in Africa. The continent offers a wealth of financial opportunities, most of which are four-legged. People in Asia, particularly the Chinese, have a high demand for ivory, and buyers pay well for trinkets made from elephant tusks. The market is enormous, and Al-Qaeda is eager to provide. Al-Shabab, the group responsible for the Nairobi shopping mall attack, is Al-Qaeda’s Somali branch and heavily involved in the poaching trade. In fact, they make about $600,000 a month killing elephants. That’s 40 percent of their operational budget. If the global community wants to stop Al-Qaeda’s activities, maybe governments should partner with conservation groups to protect both people and elephants.
5. They Have a Thing for Casio Watches
The Casio F-91W is affordable, straightforward, and a throwback to the ‘90s. It’s also wildly popular. Even after nearly 25 years since it was first released, this Japanese watch remains a best-seller worldwide. Known for its reliability, the F-91W is accurate to within 30 seconds per month, which is quite impressive. It’s likely this dependability that has made it a favorite among fashion-conscious Al-Qaeda members.
In 2011, Wikileaks unveiled a document titled “Matrix of Threat Indicators for Enemy Combatants.” This pamphlet is essentially a guide for Guantanamo officials to assess which detainees are more likely to become suicide bombers. According to the guide, carrying a satellite phone, a radio transceiver, and a stack of cash could indicate that you’re a terrorist. But the most obvious clue is the digital watch on your wrist, which the US government has labeled “the sign of Al-Qaeda.”
Apparently, Casio watches make great detonators. When a young jihadist enters training, he’s equipped with an F-91W and given extensive hands-on experience. With a few additional items, such as batteries and a circuit board, a would-be bomber can assemble a lethal device in mere minutes. The best part? The watch provides a full 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to make a clean escape.
According to The Guardian, over 30 Guantanamo detainees were caught wearing the F-91W, while 20 others had its silver counterpart, the A-159W. But is this just a coincidence? Millions of people wear Casio watches, and most of them aren’t planning any terrorist acts. Maybe the US military is exaggerating the Casio connection, or maybe not. Take a look at a photo of bin Laden himself, and you’ll notice he’s sporting the same model on his wrist . . . an F-91W.
4. They Dislike 9/11 Conspiracy Theories
What do Alex Jones, Charlie Sheen, and former Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have in common? They all share the same wild belief that 9/11 was an inside job. The key difference is that Ahmadinejad boldly took his conspiracy theories to the United Nations. In 2010, he directly accused the US government of being behind the attacks. A year later, he doubled down, claiming that the 9/11 tragedy was merely a pretext for America's invasion of the Middle East. While most dismissed his outlandish comments, his words struck a chord with the world’s most infamous terrorist group.
Not long after the president’s 2011 speech, Inspire magazine fired back with an editorial. Al-Qaeda had grown tired of Iran’s leader accusing the US of masterminding 9/11. After all, they were the ones who toppled the Towers, so they felt they deserved the credit. The jihadi journalist who wrote the editorial didn’t hold back—calling Ahmadinejad’s theory absurd and accusing him of being a sore loser. Al-Qaeda boasted that they had won the allegiance of the world’s Muslims, while Ahmadinejad was simply sulking over losing the popularity contest. He had resorted to spreading outlandish conspiracy theories in an attempt to undermine them. Ahmadinejad never responded, which would have made for a truly epic flame war.
3. They Create Their Own Video Games
Video games are a popular way to de-stress. After a tough day at the office, who hasn’t felt relief after an hour of blasting aliens into oblivion? Well, terrorists unwind in much the same way. In 2013, while French jets were pounding Al-Qaeda fighters in Mali, the group couldn’t do much to counterattack. So, they did the next best thing—they created their own video game.
In this Al-Qaeda take on Space Invaders, you control a black-and-gold Al-Qaeda jet. As you move your jet from side to side, you shoot down French planes coming your way. Your jet can withstand up to 10 hits before crashing, but instead of the usual “Game Over” screen, you’re met with a chilling message: “Congratulations, you have been martyred.” If you’re daring enough (and don’t mind being flagged by authorities), you can play the game here.
Naturally, Al-Qaeda couldn’t resist turning video games into potential weapons. A 2011 Wikileaks release revealed that they were considering converting Sega games into bombs. Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, a deputy to Abu Faraj al-Libi (who replaced Khalid Shaikh Mohammed), explained that the group was experimenting with explosives that could be triggered by cellphones. These bombs were hidden inside Sega cartridges, turning classics like Earthworm Jim and Sonic the Hedgehog into deadly devices.
2. They Attempted to Kidnap Russell Crowe
In the movie *Body of Lies*, Russell Crowe plays a CIA agent tracking down terrorists. But in early 2001, life took a surprising turn. While filming *A Beautiful Mind*, Crowe received an unexpected visit from a group of FBI agents bearing troubling news. Apparently, a terrorist group named 'Al-Qaeda' had plans to kidnap the actor. Their goal was to shake up the world by abducting famous American celebrities—except someone missed the memo that Crowe was born in New Zealand and raised in Australia.
Crowe, however, didn’t take the threat seriously. At that time, Al-Qaeda wasn’t widely known. Yet the FBI took no chances. As Crowe portrayed John Nash, federal agents stayed on set at all times, shadowing him for four years. They ensured his safety during trips to the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and even while he filmed *Master and Commander*. Luckily, the plot never came to fruition, and Crowe continued his career—though not in anything particularly thrilling. If terrorists had actually tried to capture him, though, they would’ve been up against an actor who loved a good fight.
1. They Have Their Own Rappers
If Al-Qaeda ever shows up in your city, you might want to stash your iPod. Strong believers in Sharia law, the group has a strict stance against music. After they took control of Mali, the nation’s blues musicians either had to flee or face extreme punishment, like having their tongues cut out. The jihadists also confiscated radios and cell phones, replacing all ringtones with Quranic verses. But while music is forbidden, singing is acceptable, especially when it serves Al-Qaeda’s purposes.
This brings us to Omar Hammami, also known as Abu Mansoor al-Amriki. Originally from Alabama, Hammami grew disillusioned with the US and moved to Somalia, where he joined Al-Shabab, Al-Qaeda’s branch in Somalia. With his American roots, Hammami became the perfect figure to recruit Westerners. And what better way to reach angry young Americans than through rap music? Hammami uploaded his tracks online, rapping about topics like the US invasion of Afghanistan and targeting Jews—all without any musical accompaniment.
In the track “Send Me a Cruise” (a reference to a cruise missile), Hammami raps about the honor of martyrdom. In “Make Jihad With Me,” he calls on Americans to join him in the mission to destroy Israel. In his song “Blow by Blow,” he raps about the resilience of Afghan fighters, stating, “It all started out in Afghanistan / When we wiped the oppressors off the land / The Union crumbled, rumbled and tumbled / Humbled, left them mumbled / Made a power withdraw and cower.” Unfortunately, Hammami’s songwriting talents didn’t quite hit the mark, and his career ended when his own group sent him on a one-way trip to Paradise. However, Al-Qaeda’s musical output didn’t stop there. In 2013, Deso Dogg, a German convert, released tracks rapping about suicide missions in Syria.
