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Across every culture and religion, healers or doctors exist in various forms. Some individuals, often called pseudo healers, promise miraculous results using highly diluted substances or specific herbs. Others, like witch doctors and Sangomas, offer services ranging from enhancing physical attributes to restoring lost relationships—all for a fee. In contrast, Western medicine relies on scientifically trained professionals who use evidence-based practices to treat illnesses, repair injuries, and combat global health crises while wearing protective gear.
Thanks to advancements in medical science, people today live far longer than their ancestors did centuries ago. However, not all medical treatments live up to their reputations. Below are 10 unexpected medical procedures (used by certified doctors) that you’d likely prefer to avoid:
10. Nose Job
Let’s begin with a procedure that’s often avoidable—the nose job. Appearance matters, as humans are naturally drawn to aesthetically pleasing features. Yet, very few noses are so misshapen that they require the invasive process of rhinoplasty.
The process begins with a substantial dose of sedation to ensure comfort. A skilled professional then positions a chisel deep into the nasal cavity. Using a mallet, they carefully reshape the nose by either removing existing cartilage or adding cartilage or bone harvested from another part of the body. The sound of hammers striking steel at a construction site might remind you of this procedure, making you question if the results are worth the ordeal.
9. Open Eye Surgery
The thought of anything approaching my eyes makes them water instinctively. Open eye surgery, as the name suggests, requires your eyes to remain open while surgeons operate on your corneas and iris under local anesthesia. A patient who recently underwent detached retina surgery described the experience: “It’s surreal—you’re aware your eye is open, and the doctor is working inside it. You can hear the sounds of scraping or cutting, but you feel nothing and see nothing.”
Fortunately, eyeballs lack pain receptors, which makes the process somewhat bearable. However, the sensation of something scraping and slicing at your lenses, akin to cutting grapes, might make you wonder if living with impaired vision would be a better alternative.
8. Natural Childbirth
Let’s be clear—I fully support natural childbirth when recommended by a medical professional. However, many people aren’t aware that delivering a baby naturally can lead to tearing of the vaginal walls. Even in a standard, uncomplicated birth, doctors often perform an episiotomy, making a deliberate incision to prevent uncontrolled tearing.
To minimize the risk of severe tearing, doctors may perform an episiotomy. This involves making small, precise cuts in the vaginal wall with scissors to prevent extensive damage, such as the vagina and anus merging into a single opening. After considering this, some might opt to skip parenthood altogether and embrace the joys of a child-free life, perhaps adopting a dog instead!
7. Black Mamba Venom Treatment
Africa is home to numerous life-threatening dangers, and snakes are among the deadliest. Snakes cause approximately 20,000 deaths annually on the continent, with the Black Mamba having the highest fatality rate per bite. If bitten by a Black Mamba and left untreated, death is almost certain.
What can doctors do in such cases? If the hospital has anti-venom available, they will administer it and closely monitor the patient. However, if anti-venom is unavailable, survival becomes a matter of luck. In severe cases where anti-venom is insufficient or absent, patients are placed on life support, hoping the machines can sustain their body long enough to overcome the venom. If they wake up, it’s a miracle.
6. Skin Graft
If you’ve suffered severe burns or a traumatic injury requiring new skin, a skin graft might be the solution. This procedure involves taking skin from another part of your body—typically the buttocks, thighs, or back—and transplanting it to the damaged area. Sounds simple, right? In reality, it’s far from it.
There are multiple methods for performing a skin graft, such as split-thickness, full-thickness, autograft, allograft, and xenograft. Most techniques involve harvesting skin from the patient’s own body. A device called a dermatome is used to remove the top layer of skin, which is then meshed. Meshing involves creating small slits in the skin to allow it to expand and cover a larger area.
Picture a fishnet made of human skin, and you’re on the right track. This meshed skin is placed over the wound and secured with surgical staples. However, success isn’t guaranteed—there’s a chance the transplanted skin, taken from a healthy part of your body, could dry out and shrivel while still stapled in place.
5. Electroconvulsive Therapy
Mental health has recently gained significant attention in media and popular culture, and for good reason. Depression can severely impact a person’s overall well-being. In severe cases, traditional therapy and medication may not be effective, leading to the use of Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT).
ECT involves administering general anesthesia and delivering electric shocks to the brain to induce seizures. This treatment originated in Italy during the 1930s, building on the earlier discovery that seizures could help treat certain mental illnesses. Before ECT, psychiatrists used chemicals to induce seizures, which often caused extreme fear in patients before the seizure occurred.
After declining in popularity during the 1960s and 1970s, ECT saw a resurgence in the 1980s, though it remains a controversial and extreme treatment. In the past, ECT was performed without anesthesia, resulting in side effects like memory loss, broken bones, and other complications, underscoring the intensity of the procedure.
4. Transsphenoidal Surgery
Ancient civilizations discovered that the shortest route to the brain is through the nose—and they weren’t wrong. Anyone who has undergone a COVID-19 nasal swab test knows the discomfort of a swab being pushed deep into the nasal cavity. Building on this concept, doctors have refined a technique to remove brain tumors through the nose. Yes, you read that correctly.
Using a long endoscope and a curette—a tool designed to scrape or remove tissue and debris from body cavities, especially during biopsies—doctors navigate through the nasal passage like the Magic School Bus on a scientific adventure, searching for the tumor.
3. Methanol Poisoning
During the peak of the pandemic, lockdown measures in many countries included curfews, stay-at-home orders, and alcohol bans. These restrictions, particularly the alcohol ban, left many individuals—such as stressed parents and writers—struggling to cope. Some turned to homebrewing, which led to a global surge in methanol poisoning cases due to failed attempts.
Ethanol, the alcohol found in most beverages, is safe when consumed in moderation. Methanol, however, is toxic. Ironically, the treatment for methanol poisoning involves consuming ethanol. In essence, if you accidentally ingest methanol from a botched homebrew, you’d need vodka or wine to counteract the poison. It’s a bitter twist of fate for those who turned to methanol because alcohol was unavailable. Fortunately, hospitals are well-stocked with the necessary antidote.
2. Fecal Transplant
Have you ever considered having someone else’s feces inside you? If not, congratulations—you’re normal. However, in rare cases, this might be necessary to restore health. Human feces and the gut contain a vast array of microbes and beneficial bacteria. When antibiotics disrupt this balance, it can lead to a condition called Clostridium Difficile Colitis (C. diff).
While mild cases of C. diff can be treated with oral or intravenous antibiotics, severe cases may require a fecal microbiota transplant, commonly known as a “poop transplant.” This involves transferring healthy fecal matter, usually via colonoscopy, to reintroduce beneficial bacteria into the colon. In simpler terms, someone else’s stool is delivered directly into your body.
1. Amputation under Local Anesthesia
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=124631&page=1 We’ve all heard the horror stories—surgeons amputating the wrong limb or, in one infamous case, the wrong organ. But there’s another terrifying scenario: undergoing amputation under local anesthesia. If a patient isn’t a candidate for general anesthesia, doctors may use a localized numbing agent. This means only the specific area being operated on is numbed, leaving the patient awake and aware.
For the patient, this means no pain, but full awareness of the procedure. You’ll feel your body shifting as the surgeon cuts through your limb, smell the burning tissue as blood vessels are cauterized, and hear the bone saw grinding through your body. You’re essentially a spectator at your own amputation, and it’s far from a bad dream.
