Buzz
If you've ever watched documentaries or shows like Netflix's Orange Is the New Black, you likely already have a glimpse into what prisoners can purchase or receive behind bars. Or perhaps you know someone who's taken a long-term break from the outside world. You might think that items like shower shoes and candy bars are what they trade in prison, but there's more to it than that.
However, the reality often turns out to be even more bizarre than you'd expect. Depending on the prison's location, some of the items available inside are strange, unsettling, and could even be dangerous.
10. Baby Clams and Oysters
Prison meals might surprise you. At one federal prison, inmates can purchase smoked oysters and baby clams from the commissary. These delicacies are often served as tapas or enjoyed raw in various countries as a quirky dish. Oysters are usually considered a gourmet treat, something you'd expect food enthusiasts to indulge in, making it all the more absurd that they’re available in prison.
I can't quite picture prisoners snacking on baby clams during a movie night instead of popcorn. And oysters? Why would oysters be available in prison? They probably stink terribly too. If you treated yourself to oysters, we doubt your cellmates would appreciate the smell wafting from your bed. Surprisingly though, you can find quite a variety of seafood at inmate stores, including canned sardines, salmon, and even octopus! It’s likely a better option than the usual prison food.
9. Knitting Needles
It might sound absurd to imagine inmates knitting for charity, but that's exactly what some correctional facilities do. The “Knitting Behind Bars” program took five years to get started but has since flourished, thanks to the dedicated efforts of Lynn Zwerling and her team of volunteers.
After leaving her job, Lynn Zwerling found herself with free time and realized that the calming effects of knitting could help rehabilitate prisoners in the local correctional system. Against all odds, despite initial skepticism, the program turned out to be a great success. Knitting provides inmates with peace, purpose, and something positive to focus on.
Just like any knitting circle, the prisoners have a chance to socialize, exchange ideas, practice etiquette, and communicate with each other and the women teaching them. No foul language or insults are allowed during these classes. Participants in the program are expected to behave well, with some even choosing to skip dinner to attend the weekly two-hour sessions.
8. Waist Trimmers
Inmates at a federal prison are able to purchase waist trimmers and tummy belts from the commissary, starting at around $10. For those who may not be familiar, a waist trimmer is designed to compress your midsection, creating the appearance of a slimmer waistline and a flatter stomach. Some waist trimmers are even marketed as a weight loss solution—though experts would argue this claim is somewhat misleading.
But why are they selling them in prison? These items seem to be categorized as “recreational products,” along with other fitness equipment like weightlifting gloves and wristbands. Perhaps the inmates want to stay in shape and use these trimmers to aid in slimming down. After all, after indulging in all that seafood, who could blame them for wanting to look fit? At least they're not selling Spanx.
7. Mustache Scissors
In one Georgia jail, inmates can buy mustache scissors and beard trimmers. These grooming items are priced around $8, which seems a bit steep when you consider that they are, essentially, just scissors. How essential are these for the average man? Do most men even own a pair of mustache scissors? And considering that prisoners earn between $0.12 and $0.40 per hour for work, these grooming items certainly seem like a luxury.
However, when it comes to personal grooming, prisons have stringent rules. You’re expected to stay clean and presentable, as failure to do so could result in a violation or, even worse, the disapproval of fellow inmates. Yet, scissors don’t seem to be a necessity. It almost reminds me of those quirky products popular among hipsters, like beard oil and beard balm. Maybe it's just my lack of beard or mustache, but perhaps mustaches need special scissors just as much as beards need their own oil. And then there’s the safety concern—allowing prisoners access to any type of sharp tool might not be the best idea. I can just picture inmates growing mustaches solely to justify getting their hands on some scissors.
6. Prison Gift Shop
Believe it or not, prison gift shops exist. Primarily aimed at tourists, but often accessible to inmates, these shops sell typical tourist trinkets like hoodies, keychains, and coffee mugs. These shops are often located in or near some of the most notorious prisons in the country—places known for institutional violence, death sentences, sexual assault, and solitary confinement. Some of these shops are even managed by the prisons themselves, with prisoners playing a role in the operation. And let me tell you, they offer some interesting items.
In Huntsville, Texas, home to the infamous “Ole Sparky,” you can find shot glasses and t-shirts that proudly announce “Property of Texas Prison System”—not exactly something you'd wear after an extended break from normal life. Over at Angola, Louisiana, prisoners operate the “Prison View Golf Course,” which is open to the public. Among the most popular items at their gift shop are golf balls. The prison, notorious for keeping inmates in solitary confinement for decades, also sells Angola dog collars—a popular purchase among visitors.
5. A Spork (Spoon-Fork)
For some prisoners, a visit to the prison commissary can provide a small spark of happiness during an otherwise grim period of their lives. That’s probably why many commissaries offer sporks. Because, after all, what better way to say, “You’ll find joy once you sharpen me into a makeshift knife,” than a spork?
Fortunately, many prisons are moving away from plastic utensils and exploring more innovative options like the “Ecotensil,” a utensil made of smooth cardboard, similar to the material used for milk cartons. It folds into a sturdy yet simple shape that allows prisoners to cut through foods like tamales or eggs, but not human flesh. The utensil also features perforations along the edges, enabling it to break down more easily if swallowed or flushed. According to the designer, the problem with plastic utensils is that they can be turned into weapons by inmates, posing a serious risk to staff, other prisoners, or even themselves. The use of paperboard in this design makes it nearly impossible to turn these utensils into lethal tools.
4. Nunchucks
Although you can’t buy them from the commissary, one inmate decided to make his own. During a workshop session, Lorenzo Pollard crafted a set of nunchucks from his chair legs and some linen. It might sound like the kind of thing a child would do (and promptly knock himself out with), but Pollard actually used his makeshift nunchucks to escape.
Pollard fought off about a dozen armed guards before smashing a glass block window and scaling two barbed wire fences, earning himself the nickname “Bruce Lee.” At one point, when multiple guards tried to subdue him, Pollard scrambled to the second level of the prison, where he continued to fend off the guards until he found another window to escape through. It’s a testament to the power of determination—where there's a will, there’s definitely a way.
3. Bombs
You’ve likely heard of grain silos exploding due to the fine dust produced during grain processing. When this dust is ignited, it burns extremely fast, consuming the air inside and causing an explosion. The same principle applies to any fine powder. In fact, some mines used to spontaneously combust because of their fine coal dust igniting—or perhaps it was simply due to random Balrog attacks. But if you have the intellect and the know-how, you could achieve something similar using a common substance like powdered coffee creamer.
In the United Kingdom, a few prison officials nearly learned firsthand just how easily inmates can craft a bomb using powdered creamer. Ironically, if the prison had supplied regular milk instead of powdered creamer, they would have been safer. Four prisoners were caught after their “teatime experiment” exploded when lit and thrown into a stairwell. Fortunately, the bomb didn’t fully detonate. Prison-made bombs aren’t exactly reliable, but this incident alerted authorities to a potential weapon that could have been catastrophic.
2. Prison Wine (Hooch)
Alcohol has been a constant companion through both the good and the bad times since the dawn of civilization. Despite countless efforts to restrict or ban it, alcohol has always managed to endure, thanks to the resilience of humanity. No matter the crisis, we’ve always found a way to produce our own spirits. However, nowhere is this unstoppable drive more evident than within the walls of prisons around the world.
Despite its risks, the homemade prison alcohol, or pruno, goes by many different names. It’s made from a variety of ingredients like fruits, tea, sugar, and sometimes even moldy bread. This tradition probably began the moment the first prisoner was locked behind bars in history. And despite efforts to stop it, prison guards and officials have never managed to eliminate it. In fact, it’s so deeply embedded in prison culture that many wardens now simply accept it as part of their job when they take on their duties.
1. Hippy Crack
In 2017, three inmates in a UK prison were caught on film inhaling nitrous oxide, commonly known as laughing gas, from canisters they filled using balloons. The colorless gas is affectionately called “hippy crack.” The footage shows the men at various stages of intoxication as they inhale the gas, each visibly affected by the substance.
In one of the clips, it even seems that one of the prisoners loses consciousness. Nitrous oxide induces feelings of relaxation and euphoria, but at higher doses, it can cause hallucinations. There’s also a serious risk of death if the gas is inhaled without enough oxygen, particularly in cases of abuse.
