Buzz
For years, the most advanced feature a doll had was eyes that opened and closed depending on whether the figure was sitting or lying down. But as the 20th century progressed, toy makers began pushing for more—more realistic features, more interaction, and more bodily functions.
Some, like Kenner’s notorious Baby Alive, who could soil her pants, became massive successes (and would make for some amusing retro gift ideas). But other dolls with peculiar traits were left to gather dust in forgotten toy boxes.
1. You & Me Tub & Toot Doll
Dolls that mimic digestive and urinary systems aren't particularly strange, but the Tub & Toot was disturbingly precise. It would only release gas when submerged in water, creating a rather (for some) satisfying bubbling effect as it let loose the remnants of an imaginary diet rich in beans and broccoli. In 2013, retail giant Toys 'R Us exclusively sold the Tub & Toot, and the company filed for bankruptcy in 2017. These events feel somehow connected.
2. Growing Up Skipper
In 1975, Mattel introduced Skipper, Barbie’s younger sister, expanding their iconic doll line. Skipper could ‘transform from a young girl into a teenager in a matter of seconds.’ In reality, this meant that children could use a lever on Skipper’s arm to make her grow 0.75 inches taller—and even develop breasts. The doll was heavily criticized by the National Organization for Women (NOW), who called it 'the worst example of wretched excess to appear on toy shelves that year.' Mattel never made a similar feature for Ken.
3. Bless You Baby Tender Love
When Mattel wasn’t working on Barbie, they were busy designing dolls that could potentially create a generation of germophobes. Bless You Baby Tender Love was a 1970s doll that would leak snot from her nose and even sneeze. While her illness was never explained, she showed no other cold symptoms. You can see this asymptomatic Baby Tender Love in the commercial above.
4. Baby Soft Sounds
In 1980, Fisher-Price introduced Baby Soft Sounds, a doll with cherubic cheeks that would babble when held and cuddled, only to throw a mild tantrum when ignored. 'Put her down and she fusses for more attention,' the company advertised. 'And after a while, she just quiets down. Isn't that just like a real baby?' This annoying doll seemed to foreshadow other 'take-care-of-me-or-else' toys, like Tamagotchi. To preempt complaints, Fisher-Price highlighted that the doll’s voice box could be removed.
5. Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces
Have you ever wondered what you’d do if you had to enter witness protection with your doll? In the 1970s, kids didn’t have to worry. That’s because Kenner’s Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces came with an entire wardrobe of disguises. Wigs, sideburns, facial hair, scars, noses, and even fangs enabled Hugo to blend in anywhere. The 'real' Hugo, devoid of any features, resembled a maniacal Telly Savalas.
6. My Pretty Ballerina
Some dolls are content to lounge on beds, playing the role of a passive companion. Others, like My Pretty Ballerina, have much grander aspirations. Released in 1990, Tyco’s doll could spin on her tiptoes, endlessly rehearsing her dance moves—or at least until the batteries died. At first, this seems harmless, until you realize how unsettling it is to watch My Pretty Ballerina try to balance. It almost looks like she’s practicing how to sneak up on you.
7. Sally Secrets
At first glance, Mattel’s Sally Secrets seems like a typical doll. However, interact with her and she’ll start ejecting stickers from her stomach, an odd feature that makes her resemble a vending machine more than a doll. The toy was quite popular in 1993, but didn’t manage to maintain its appeal.
8. Shaving Fun Ken
In 1995, Mattel let kids take on Ken’s grooming duties. His facial stubble could be lathered and shaved with warm water, disappearing from his face in the process. Once the temperature dropped, the stubble would begin to grow back, proving that Ken’s testosterone levels surpassed what any razor could handle.
9. Baby Secret
Another doll that seems destined to be possessed by a murderous spirit, Baby Secret was a 1966 creation by Mattel. This doll spoke in an eerie whisper while its lips moved—just the thing to establish a chilling connection with its human companions.
10. Flatsies
Among all the dolls on this list, Ideal’s Flatsies have garnered the most interest from collectors. However, their defining feature is undeniably strange: these dolls are two-dimensional. Released in 1966, they appear as though they’ve been flattened with a spatula, making it easy to hide them in books, under pillows, or anywhere you wouldn’t typically expect to find a doll.
A version of this article was originally published in 2021 and has been updated for 2022.
