Buzz
When you attach a sense of 'exclusivity' to an item, people are bound to spend money on it. This is a concept that's true for every consumer product marketed with the message, 'If [a certain celebrity] uses it, it must be extraordinary.' But what could be more impactful than any advertising campaign? A commercial holiday—'commercial' here used to differentiate it from any religious connotations. A commercial holiday functions like a universal ad campaign, where consumers are expected to embrace a range of rituals to participate properly. Forgot to get your mom a card for Mother’s Day? Prepare for social exile. These traditions are so deeply embedded in our culture that they hold more weight than facts or religious teachings. There’s significant profit to be made where 'personal' becomes purely commercial; here are ten industries and businesses that understand this dynamic all too well.
10.
Infomercials serve a valuable purpose: they offer a last-minute option for procrastinating shoppers who can't come up with a thoughtful or handmade gift in time and need something 'gift-like' immediately. Many Christmases could end in regret if not for the relentless suggestions that appear on TV around 3 A.M. Christmas morning. Christmas, birthday, and graduation gifts can easily be a Snuggie, ShakeWeight, or an underwater electric razor. The best gifts are the ones that don't have gender-specific appeal; just buy 8 of those, and your Christmas shopping is done. (Warning: those you actually care about may not appreciate the clear lack of effort in these gifts, but feel free to indulge a coworker.)
9. Professional Photography Studios
Each family is obligated to send out a Christmas card annually, or else risk being ridiculed by the neighbors. A Christmas card serves as a symbol of how 'perfect' a family is, or at least how they present themselves, before they return to their usual chaotic, imperfect selves, usually on the drive back from Sears. Only the most talented photographers can transform this illusion into something believable, which is why they earn the big money, and why families delight in spreading this carefully crafted image to everyone in their address book.
8. Fireworks
Not everywhere is it legal, but these standalone spectacles are the star attraction of every Fourth of July, Memorial Day, and other patriotic occasions. After all, nothing screams U.S.A. like Chinese imports. Every fair ends with them, the grand 'Grand Finale,' and every rowdy Summer night away from work demands their explosive presence. The sky-splitting fireworks never fail to thrill, satisfying that primal craving for reckless fire and destruction, which explains why border crossings are so common and unstoppable.
7. Airlines
The airline industry, always awake—hence the 'red-eye' flights—rarely takes a break. More than any other method of travel, it is the most efficient and practical way to cover vast distances quickly and according to a schedule, despite the waiting and security checks involved. Every holiday season, flights fill up, and the last-minute cheapest seats often reach astronomical prices, even though websites like Expedia and Travelocity strive to ease this burden. Connecting with family and friends is an integral part of almost every holiday or festive gathering, and for this, transportation becomes an essential, albeit unremarkable, consideration. Any industry rooted in the basic needs and functions of life, like healthcare or fast food, will undoubtedly flourish.
6. Video Games
Every holiday season, without fail, stores like GameStop, Electronics Boutique, and Best Buy quickly sell out of all major gaming consoles, especially following the release of the newest model, just in time for the holidays. Come November, determined mothers flood malls to grab that sought-after 'game box' their child has been talking about, ensuring the child can tear it open on Christmas morning without a hint of surprise. Wii’s, Xbox 360’s, and PS3’s have sold out almost every Christmas, but with no child seeming to be without one these days, it’s time for the Wii 2, Xbox 720, and PS4 to make their debut, bringing chaos to parking lots everywhere.
5. Restaurants
The go-to or fallback gift for many is a visit to, or a gift card for, a well-regarded restaurant, though usually just the Olive Garden or T.G.I. Fridays. It’s an escape from the kitchen, a dad favorite on Mother’s Day, and a reliable date option for around twenty to thirty bucks a plate. The price says, 'I’m not totally cheap, but I’m not exactly creative either.' Restaurants thrive on special occasions—seasonal ones, that is—and with commercial holidays popping up every few weeks, it’s never a bad bet. The food doesn’t need to be exceptional, but soft lighting and faint, vaguely romantic music overhead will set the mood for a perfect Valentine’s Day spot.
4. Hollywood
Tim Allen has made a small fortune from Christmas-themed films, starring in three progressively worse 'Santa Claus' movies and overacting his way through 'Christmas with the Cranks' (based on a novel?!). Every holiday seems to inspire a flood of films that rely on cheap gimmicks, revolving around the holiday and an endless stream of disasters—such as 'Four Christmases,' 'Surviving Christmas,' 'Deck the Halls,' and 'Fred Claus.' Christmas is the obvious cash cow, but even lesser holidays get their turn for exploitation: 'Valentine’s Day' (the movie of the same name), Halloween (every 3D slasher film released just in time for Halloween weekend, including the movie of the same name and every reboot), Easter ('Hop'), and more. While there are certainly good holiday films ('It’s a Wonderful Life,' 'The Nightmare Before Christmas,' 'Christmas Vacation,' 'A Christmas Story'), Hollywood seems more focused on churning out disposable content for easy cash rather than creating lasting classics.
3. Liquor Stores and Bars
What’s a holiday without alcohol? There are even holidays dedicated to it (St. Paddy’s Day, green beer optional), though they almost always end in drunken chaos. While kids eagerly await cake, pie, and trick-or-treating, adults look forward to the swift rise of their blood alcohol content. Liquor stores and bars are the true winners on these universally recognized 'special' days, outpacing even birthdays or random celebrations. As these big days draw near, extra effort is put into ensuring a hefty surplus of booze, lest the cash registers suffer (in the form of massive losses).
2. Greeting Cards
What a brilliant business: paying someone else to craft the perfect sentiment for any occasion. What better way to show you care than by forking over four dollars for someone else to say it for you? Somehow, greeting cards have weaseled their way into every holiday, birthday, and congratulatory moment, and yet, they’re somehow deemed a 'thoughtful' gesture. A truly thoughtful move would be to write a personal letter or pick up a BLANK card and write something original and heartfelt. Yet, a trip to the drug store feels just as meaningful.
1. Candy
How many times have we gorged on marshmallow Peeps, swearing we’ll never touch them again—only for them to return in the shape of a Christmas tree or pumpkin instead of a bunny? And when we vow to give up candy for good, we can't resist the 80% off sale in the center aisle of the local pharmacy. Between candy corn, Peeps, chocolate boxes, and a variety of other fun-sized sugar-and-carnauba wax-coated treats, our obsession with collecting these sweets and our inevitable need to incorporate them into every celebration only ensures more profit for the Willy Wonkas of the world.
