Buzz
Thank goodness for science. The most brilliant minds in the world are currently joining forces to tackle the greatest challenges that face humanity. From answering fundamental questions like: What is the origin of the universe? How can we defeat diseases?
And, perhaps most crucial of all—what will happen when the zombie apocalypse finally strikes?
10. Dr. Andreansky Is Confident She Can Develop The Rage Virus
Virologist Samita Andreansky from the University of Miami sat down with National Geographic to discuss her research. In their conversation, she shared that her studies have led to critical conclusions that the world needs to hear.
First, she is convinced that the airborne rage virus concept from 28 Days Later is the most plausible scenario for a zombie apocalypse. Second, she is quite confident that she could make it a reality. Dr. Andreansky believes it is theoretically possible to genetically engineer a hybrid of rabies, influenza, and Ebola to create the Rage Virus. The rabies would drive the zombie-like behavior, influenza would make it spread through the air, and Ebola would provide the grotesque touch of bleeding from their insides.
9. Wade Davis Asserts He Can Create Haitian Zombies
Wade Davis, an ethnobotanist trained at Harvard, traveled across Haiti to study their zombie folklore, and he claims to have discovered how to create one himself.
Davis visited four different locations in Haiti and persuaded Hoodoo practitioners to share the secret formula for creating zombies. He documented everything and identified one common ingredient that he believes holds the key. Every zombie powder contains a puffer fish, which has tetrodotoxins—a hallucinogenic substance Davis believes can induce a zombie-like state.
Davis recreated the zombie powder in a lab and asserts that he now has the ability to turn anyone into a mindless creature. He further claims that zombies existed long before Haiti. According to Davis, witch doctors once used the zombie powder as a death sentence by injecting criminals with it—and that zombies once roamed the jungles of Africa.
8. Zora Neale Hurston Maintains That Zombies Are Already Real
Zora Neale Hurston, one of the most renowned figures of the Harlem Renaissance and one of America's greatest authors, is also a staunch believer in zombies. Hurston has publicly stated: “I know that there are Zombies in Haiti. People have been called back from the dead.”
The story began when Hurston was tasked with studying folk art, a role that eventually led her to Haiti to explore hoodoo. There, she earned the trust of hoodoo priests by performing their rituals, including catching a cat and boiling it alive. Once accepted into their circle, the priests introduced her to a zombie named Felicia Felix-Mentor, who they claimed had been brought back from the grave.
“The sight was horrifying. That vacant face with lifeless eyes,” Hurston recalled. “The sight of this broken being was too much to bear for long.”
7. Two Neuroscientists Authored A Book On How Zombification Affects The Brain
Bradley Voytek and Timothy Vestynen collaborated on a comprehensive book discussing how the transformation into a zombie impacts the brain. They concluded that the mumblings of zombies point to damage in the interior frontal gyrus, a part of the brain. The damage, they argue, renders zombies incapable of speaking coherently and unable to understand spoken language.
Their movement patterns, they suggest, indicate damage to the basal ganglia tissues. The researchers believe that zombies exhibit the same type of brain damage seen in individuals with Parkinson's disease.
6. Dr. Schlozman Believes Zombies Would Be Similar To Crocodiles
Harvard offers its own perspective on the matter. Dr. Steven Schlozman, an assistant professor of psychiatry, has researched zombie neuroscience and developed his own theories.
He agrees with Voytek and Vestynen that zombies would suffer damage to the frontal lobe, but he also proposes that we already have a model for zombies: crocodiles. Zombies, he argues, would be driven entirely by the amygdala, which would overwhelm them with uncontrolled, primal emotions like anger. Interestingly, this is almost identical to how a crocodile's brain functions, meaning a zombie would behave in much the same way.
However, there would be one key difference—zombies, according to Schlozman, would have a malfunctioning ventromedial hypothalamus, the brain region that tells us when we're full. As a result, a zombie would resemble a crocodile doomed to constantly suffer from overwhelming hunger.
5. The CDC Has A Zombie Preparedness Plan
The CDC advises families to keep an emergency kit stocked with essential supplies, ready for any situation—including the arrival of zombie hordes at your doorstep. If such a scenario occurs, your family should have a predetermined meeting spot and an evacuation plan in place to ensure you can escape and reunite.
However, they might not be the best source of advice. The CDC’s own response plan to a zombie outbreak includes 'consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care.' These experts intend to bring zombies into their building and attempt to communicate with them—a strategy that, as anyone familiar with zombie films can attest, is bound to end in disaster.
4. The Pentagon Has A Strategy To Halt The Zombie Apocalypse
A Pentagon document titled 'Conplan 8888' was created as a training thought experiment, explicitly stating that it was 'not designed as a joke.' It outlines the government's response plan for a zombie invasion. The strategy is to mobilize military forces against the undead, treating them as an irrational enemy—after assuring Russia, of course, that this isn't a covert scheme aimed at them.
Their projections, however, are rather bleak. The document cautions that the U.S. has 'no ground combat forces capable' of repelling a zombie onslaught, and that air forces will be rendered ineffective after just a week, with command centers expected to fall to the armies of the dead.
3. The IRS Is Already Ready To Tax The Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland
Just because Chodorow isn’t thrilled with the details doesn't mean the IRS hasn't prepared. In the event of an apocalypse, IRS manuals specify that 'Operations will focus on collecting taxes that will yield the greatest revenue.' They plan to pardon some overdue accounts, citing these individuals as being 'most adversely affected'—a polite way of implying that the poor will perish first.
Surviving IRS employees will continue to tax the last remaining pockets of humanity. They will be reassigned to new duties 'without any effect on the current positions or grades of the employee'—so even if the kid working in the mailroom ends up taking over as Director of Operations, don't expect a raise.
2. Prof. Chodorow Aims To Revise Tax Laws To Account For Zombies
Adam Chodorow, a professor at Arizona State University, penned an article titled 'Death and Taxes and Zombies,' in which he critiques the IRS for being grossly underprepared for the potential reality of a zombie apocalypse.
For instance, tax regulations on unearned income feature significant loopholes that the undead could exploit. Chodorow argues that a Haitian-style zombie could easily be employed by a hoodoo priest as part of a tax-evasion scheme that current policies fail to adequately address.
The central issue revolves around the definition of 'death.' Current documents fail to clarify whether a zombie qualifies as 'dead,' which raises complications across various areas, from inheritance to income tax. According to the current definition, Chodorow argues that zombification could simply be seen as a 'personality change.'
What worries Chodorow the most is the potential for a zombie cure. If someone were able to reverse zombification, they could take advantage of significant tax breaks due to their brief period of 'death.' After all, the only thing worse than being devoured by a zombie might just be realizing you’ve found a way to exploit a tax loophole.
1. Prof. Smith Has Developed a Mathematical Model for Surviving Zombies
Robert J. Smith, a mathematics professor at the University of Ottawa, created a mathematical model aimed at surviving a zombie apocalypse. He suggests that a zombie pandemic would indeed be apocalyptic, asserting that 'a zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilization.' Within just three days, he predicts, a city of 500,000 people would have more zombies than living inhabitants.
He explored a range of potential strategies for surviving the apocalypse. While quarantining zombies might slow the inevitable, he found it ultimately futile. Developing a cure could be effective, but most of humanity would be lost before it could be achieved. The only viable solution, he concludes, is to eliminate as many zombies as possible, as swiftly as possible. His study ultimately asserts, 'The most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.'
His research received financial support from three distinct government grants.
