Buzz
It's no secret that alcohol can cloud our thinking, leading to some pretty embarrassing drunken moments. But while most of us cringe at our own drunken mistakes, some individuals manage to top it all, ending up in the spotlight of viral news.
These are the unforgettable stories of people who have reached new heights in drunken misadventures, setting a bar that the rest of us can only dream of matching.
10. Trapped in a Photo Stand
Like many of us, Danny Melody went a little overboard celebrating his birthday, so maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on him. His crazy moment unfolded in Dublin, known for its lively party scene. Danny, from Cheshire, England, was there to celebrate his 21st and decided to pose for a silly souvenir photo with his head stuck through a leprechaun-shaped hole in a photo board. Unfortunately, alcohol seemed to make his head swell, and once it was in, it wouldn’t come out. True to friendship, his pals did what any loyal friends would: they recorded the incident on their phones and shared it on YouTube. Soon, Danny became an attraction, with strangers snapping photos of his predicament.
After finally being rescued, Danny shared with the press: “I was pretty drunk at the time, so I wasn’t too embarrassed, but looking back on it now, I’m mortified.”
9. Sold their car to buy more booze
People often end up buying pointless things when they've had too much to drink – a boozy shopping spree on Amazon could definitely be used as a cautionary tale by temperance advocates. However, selling something you actually rely on is far rarer. That’s exactly what happened to a man from New Zealand, whose identity somehow stayed under wraps. This man from Rotorua was in the midst of a wild binge when he ran out of money and made the decision to sell his car to a stranger for $800, all so he could keep the party going.
The next morning, he completely forgot about the transaction and went to his local police station to report his car as stolen. The situation only cleared up when the buyer, suspicious that he might have unknowingly bought a stolen vehicle, checked the car’s registration number. Thinking it was stolen, the police were alerted when the buyer entered the details on a website. Eventually, the buyer returned the car to the flustered seller. Still, it was a better outcome than drinking and driving.
8. Gone fishing
Fishing is a popular pastime, but it's not common for people to try it after a few drinks. However, one man from Boston had an insatiable craving for fish that led him to take his boat out on one of the city's canals following an evening of heavy drinking. Unfortunately for him, he was spotted by the Massachusetts Environmental Police, who were patrolling the canal at the time, and ended up with a criminal record.
His conviction wasn’t for drunken boating but for being an overly skilled fisherman. By the time the police caught up with him, he had caught around 122 sea bass, which is about 121 more than most sober anglers manage! Apparently, the city has a rule that no one can catch more than eight sea bass at a time, and the man was forced to donate his fishy haul to charity. Which charity ended up with over a hundred dead fish remains unclear.
7. Forgot to finish a burglary
In what may be the most stereotypically French story ever, a burglar in France was caught by police after being distracted by a bottle of champagne in the midst of his crime. This strange episode took place in Provins, a historic town near Paris, in 2014. The couple who owned the property he had broken into returned home after a night out and became suspicious when they noticed that their blinds, which were open when they left, had been closed.
Instead of entering the house, they contacted the police, who arrived and found the burglar watching TV, thoroughly drunk. He had been stealing money, passports, a pair of sunglasses, and a bicycle he apparently intended to use for his escape. While looting the house, he must have come across the champagne bottle, and what Frenchman could possibly resist? According to a police spokesperson, he was “very relaxed, completely intoxicated, and had apparently forgotten where he was.” Hopefully, they let him keep the sunglasses to help with his hangover the next day.
6. Climbed a mountain
While navigating the journey home after a bit too much to drink can sometimes feel like scaling a mountain, one man from Estonia truly took on an alpine challenge under the influence. This man, referred to only as ‘Pavel’ in news reports, was on vacation at the Cervinia resort in the Alps. After a day spent on the ski slopes, he chose to hit the resort bars and then wandered back to his hotel for the night.
He ventured down a road, though it was the wrong one, and found himself on a ski run that led directly toward the Ventina Mountain. While most people would have noticed they were heading in the wrong direction when their walk suddenly became an intense uphill climb, Pavel was so intoxicated that he managed to scale 2,400 meters. At the peak, he stumbled upon a restaurant called Igloo. Despite it being around 3 am, he somehow got inside and passed out on a bench, where he was discovered by the restaurant staff the next morning. This feat, albeit bizarre, is oddly impressive, and some of us might have even been eager to get our names in the papers afterward.
5. Dreamed of being a time traveler
Delusions are a common side effect of drinking, but while many of us just imagine we’re charming enough to win over the attractive person across the bar, one man from Casper, Wyoming took his delusions to a more creative extreme. He became convinced he was a time traveler from the future. When Bryant Johnson was arrested for disorderly conduct, he claimed to have traveled back from the year 2048 to warn the people of Casper that hostile aliens were planning to attack the town the following year, urging them to flee while they still could.
He had crafted an astonishingly detailed story, asserting that these aliens had injected alcohol into his body and placed him on a transporter pad to send him back in time – although he never explained why they would give their victims a heads-up. He also claimed that the aliens were supposed to send him to 2017 but had accidentally dropped him off in 2018 (perhaps they had been drinking too). He finished his tale by demanding to speak with the town president, in true ‘take me to your leader’ sci-fi fashion. In the end, the breathalyzer test revealing a .136 blood alcohol level surely became the most redundant test ever administered.
4. Had a meltdown at work
Who hasn’t had a day at work so terrible that quitting in the most dramatic way seemed like the only option? This is why mixing alcohol and work is often a bad idea, as demonstrated by Daniel Kochanski. In 2012, he worked as a court stenographer, tasked with accurately transcribing court cases. While this role might have been both dull and disheartening, his alcohol-fueled meltdown still made a lasting impression.
Kochanski reportedly began typing ‘I hate my job’ repeatedly in his transcripts instead of documenting the actual court proceedings. It was reported that over 30 transcripts were ruined, potentially allowing the convicted individuals to appeal their cases and even get their sentences overturned. Despite this, Kochanski denied any unprofessionalism, stating: “I never typed gibberish. I always did my job 100 percent. I was fired due to substance abuse.” Ironically, that might be one of the worst defenses ever.
3. Got friendly with a rubber dinghy
Drunk individuals often imagine themselves performing heroic deeds, but none of the Avengers could compete with the bravery of a 22-year-old man from Brittany, France. After spotting what he believed to be an unconscious person lying inside a rubber dinghy at a shipyard, he did what many would consider the right thing – he attempted to administer the kiss of life. However, there was no person in the dinghy, and the man was later found by the police getting intimate with the inflatable. It’s hard to fathom just how drunk someone would have to be to mistake an object for a person, but to add to the absurdity, he had called both the fire service and police before starting his peculiar attempt at resuscitation!
He was arrested and spent the night in the cells to sober up, but none of the news reports mentioned whether or not he managed to save the dinghy from its apparent demise. What we can confidently say, however, is that France is just as capable of producing superheroes as the United States.
2. Took a Taxi Tour Across Scandinavia
A taxi ride home is a classic part of any night out, but it helps if you're sober enough to remember where you live. This was a problem for one man who, after a drunken New Year’s Eve in Copenhagen, booked a taxi to take him home, only to end up on a 372-mile journey through three countries. The taxi started in Denmark, ventured through Sweden, and then crossed into Norway – which finally triggered his memory, reminding him that his home was in Oslo.
The adventure didn’t end there, though. Upon reaching his home, the man simply walked inside without paying the fare. For reasons unknown, the driver allowed him to enter his house, only to sit outside for hours while his car battery drained. The following morning, the driver called the police, who found the man still asleep. He eventually agreed to pay up, settling the fare of $2,200 in US dollars.
1. Bitten a Car
While the previous stories have focused on men, women are certainly just as capable of getting intoxicated and doing outrageous things. In 2014, Rhian Jeremiah, a 26-year-old woman from Aberystwyth, Wales, was taken to court following a drunken night out. During the evening, she bit a passing car and ended up in a scuffle with the police. She had been attending a special event to honor the memory of her boyfriend who had drowned, but even that didn’t quite explain her behavior.
After leaving the event, Rhian encountered a Fiat 500 on the street and began shouting at the people inside. So drunk that the car’s occupants couldn’t understand what she was yelling, they tried to drive away. Unfortunately for them, Rhian bit into the car’s frame! The passengers saw this through the sunroof and testified that it made a ‘screeching noise.’ Her biting also left visible marks on the car, which cost £220 (around $278) to fix. Rhian was sentenced to community service and, in a bizarre twist, was cast as the daughter of Jaws in an upcoming James Bond movie (that last part may be fabricated).
