12 Annoying Behaviors That Restaurant Waiters Really Can't Stand

When cooking at home isn’t appealing, takeout is always an option. But for those special occasions, dining out at a restaurant is a treat. On average, Americans visit restaurants about three times a month. Restaurants provide convenience, great meals, and the chance to connect with others. While dining out is enjoyable for customers, servers will tell you it’s no walk in the park. They spend hours on their feet, carry heavy plates, and handle difficult customers. Next time you visit a restaurant, try to make the experience a little easier for your server. Here are some habits that irritate waiters.

Seating Yourself

Every restaurant has its own vibe, and some places have signs that say ‘seat yourself.’ But that’s not the norm. It’s best to wait for the host or hostess to escort you to the right table—especially if there’s a wait. Seating yourself might result in you picking a table that’s too large for your party, like a table for four when you’re just two. One thing that really bothers servers, though, is when you sit down at a dirty table. Your host will let you know when your clean, perfectly-sized table is ready.

Touching Them Without Asking

No one enjoys being touched by strangers, and that includes your server. If they’re passing by, don’t grab their arm to stop them. Servers will introduce themselves by name, and that’s the best way to get their attention if you need something. A simple ‘excuse me’ or a discreet wave works just fine.

Asking a Different Server for Help

In some restaurants, one server will take care of you throughout your meal. In others, multiple servers may handle different tables. Large chain restaurants often divide tables into sections, so you’ll usually have one primary server—who will also receive the majority of the tip you leave. If you ask another server for something, you may distract them from their own tables, and they won’t be tipped for helping you. If you need assistance, ask your server directly or request that your server be called over.

Raising Your Glass for Refills

What should you do when you need a refill but your server is busy taking orders at other tables? Holding up your empty glass to signal them isn’t the best approach. Wait until your server has finished with the other guests. They typically check on you every few minutes, but if they haven't made their rounds, you can try a friendly wave as they walk by.

Expecting Lunch or Happy Hour Discounts After Time Has Passed

Many establishments offer special lunch or happy hour deals to attract customers during slower periods. Once those hours end, so do the discounts. Your server could face consequences for giving you a discount during busier times, so if you're after those lower prices, be sure to visit during the designated hours.

Requesting Multiple Trips for Items

Your server isn’t just attending to you—they typically have an entire section of tables to manage. So, you can imagine how many steps they take in one shift. One way to help your server is to combine your requests instead of making them run around repeatedly. If you need a refill, a side of ketchup, and the check, ask for them all at once rather than separately.

Making Excessive Substitutions

Whether it's due to food allergies, dietary restrictions, or just personal taste, it’s perfectly fine to ask for one or two adjustments to your order. However, when you start requesting multiple changes, things can get tricky. Servers already have a lot to juggle, and expecting them to remember a long list of modifications isn’t reasonable. It also adds extra pressure on the chefs, who are accustomed to preparing each dish in a particular way. If you find yourself needing a lot of modifications, maybe that dish isn’t the best choice. Consider scanning the menu again for an option that suits your needs with minimal changes.

Staying After You’ve Finished Your Meal

At the core, restaurants are businesses that thrive by serving as many hungry customers as possible. When you linger too long after finishing your meal, the restaurant and servers lose the opportunity to serve other diners. Servers may also be delayed in closing your tab, which means they may miss out on their tip if you take too much time. If you delay too long, they may even have to clock out before they receive their gratuity.

Telling Them to Smile

The phrase “service with a smile” sounds appealing, but it’s not part of a server's duties to constantly wear a grin. To encounter a friendly face, show your server respect and kindness. Use “please” when making requests, thank them when your meal arrives, and wish them a pleasant day as you leave. It also helps if you order efficiently and keep your space neat. Essentially, give your server a reason to smile instead of expecting it.

Requesting Separate Checks for a Large Group

Have you ever attended a birthday dinner with a large group? Servers know managing big parties is demanding, but one thing that can slow them down is the request for separate checks. If you anticipate needing the bill split multiple ways, inform your server right away so they can prepare separate tabs. While dividing a bill for 14 people into seven checks might seem minor, the server has to split the order seven times, collect seven cards, process them, and return the change.

Leaving a Small Tip

Certain jobs rely on tips, and servers are among the most dependent. In many places, servers earn less than the legal minimum wage because they’re expected to supplement their income with tips. That’s why tipping your server is crucial, as it may be their main source of income. The general guideline is to tip at least 15 to 20 percent of your total bill, with the option to tip more if the service is outstanding. As for tipping on takeout orders? While it’s not required, it’s a thoughtful gesture to show appreciation for those who prepare and pack your meal.

Arriving Right Before Closing

Dining out takes more than just the time from sitting down to paying the bill. On average, the entire process can take longer than 15 minutes. This is why servers prefer guests to arrive well before closing time. Even though a restaurant may be open until 10 PM, that doesn’t mean you should walk in at the last minute. Ideally, aim to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to closing, though giving yourself an hour or more is the most considerate, allowing the staff to complete their closing duties.