Buzz
Image: Andrei Moldoveanu/Getty ImagesIf you believe that becoming a happier person is out of your reach, there’s compelling neuroscience that will change your perspective—permanently. “We have more control [over our happiness] than we think," says Elissa Epel, PhD, professor and vice chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco and author of The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease. "We can take charge and discover simple steps we can take now—small actions that can elevate our sense of joy and satisfaction."
Epel isn’t suggesting that happiness is a magic trick. However, her research shows that, regardless of our inherent disposition or outside influences, we can significantly enhance our well-being. According to data from The Big JOY Project, an international citizen science initiative co-founded by Epel, the key lies in the power of habits. Specifically, micro-habits—small, easy-to-implement daily actions.
By intentionally adopting these habits and paying close attention to their positive effects, we can tap into our brain's reward system. “When a behavior sparks a positive emotional response, we tend to remember it and repeat it,” Epel explains. “Being aware of how an action makes us feel good helps us build new positive routines.” Consistently and wholeheartedly practicing these micro-habits can actually reshape your brain to approach life with more positivity. If this sounds appealing, here are some micro-acts from The Big JOY Project that you can begin right away.
1. Perform 5 acts of kindness each day.
"Can you perform five small acts of kindness today?" Epel suggests. Consider giving someone a moment of joy, however simple. It could be sending a funny text to a friend, calling your grandfather, leaving a positive comment on someone's post, picking up litter, or bringing a latte to your doorman. No grand gestures or expensive gifts required here.
2. Practice gratitude.
How? Make it tangible: write it down, say it aloud, or focus on it first thing in the morning. "Create a list of things you're grateful for, both big and small," advises Epel. "Gratitude acts as a remedy for stress. By beginning the day with gratitude, we can set a positive tone. When you wake up, think of something you're thankful for."
3. Spend time in nature every day.
Step outside each day and allow the natural light, sounds, and scents to ease your stress and elevate your mood. "Go outdoors and engage all of your senses by appreciating the views or urban green spaces around you, and move mindfully," Epel recommends.
4. Reframe negative experiences to uncover a hidden benefit.
Unfortunate events are inevitable, and they will keep occurring. Acknowledge the pain, frustration, and anger (this isn't about toxic positivity). But then strive to "change your viewpoint [by] discovering the benefit within everyday challenges," says Epel.
If you're feeling especially stuck in a negative mindset (which, remember, is just a habit you can change!), try starting smaller: See if you can find something more neutral about a difficult situation. The event may have been unpleasant, but can you endure it? Will it eventually pass? Have you faced something similar before and made it through?
5. Leverage positive experiences in others' lives.
This aligns with the idea of being kind to others, but it specifically emphasizes being present and attentive to the good things happening in the lives of your loved ones. "Ask and truly listen to stories about what’s going well for the people in your life," Epel suggests.
6. Regularly affirm your core values.
When our actions and life choices don't align with our deepest values, unhappiness is sure to follow. Remind yourself of what truly matters to you, and check if your life reflects those values. "Rank the importance of four key values and briefly describe how they appear in your life," suggests Epel. Refer back to this list often to guide tough decisions, realign yourself with contentment, and ultimately find more meaning and joy in daily living.
7. Release anger through compassion.
It's natural to feel anger when we're hurt by others. But holding onto those emotions keeps us stuck in negativity—and when we try to suppress them, they only intensify. By replacing anger with compassion, we can foster empathy without ignoring the hurt we experienced. In a study, English college students who were encouraged to view a past hurt with compassion reported increased empathy, forgiveness, and even a reduction in heart rate.
8. Develop a sense of awe.
Research shows that experiencing awe—the feeling we get when witnessing an extraordinary view, listening to a powerful piece of music, or holding a newborn—helps lift us above our daily worries and reminds us that we're part of something greater than ourselves. Think back to a time when you felt awe and write about it, capturing as many details as you can.
9. Picture your best possible self in your relationships.
Look ahead to the future and imagine your ideal family, romantic, and social life. How do you envision your relationship with your partner, children, parents, or friends? Describe in detail how you'd interact, what activities you'd do together, and any changes from how you currently connect with them. Rather than focusing on past setbacks, think about how the future can be brighter and let your imagination roam. Research shows that clearly articulating your desires in an optimistic way gives you a stronger sense of control and encourages you to take action toward this future. Try doing this exercise for 15 minutes a day for two weeks.
10. Take a break for self-compassion.
When faced with challenges or stress, self-criticism often only makes things worse. Instead, try replacing it with self-compassion using this exercise from self-compassion expert Kristin Neff, associate professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
- Consider a difficult or stressful event in your life and how it makes you feel. Then say to yourself, "This is suffering" or "This hurts." By doing so, you're acknowledging the experience without judgment.
- Next, say, "Suffering is part of life" or "You're not alone in this." This is a way to remind yourself that being human means going through painful moments, and experiencing them doesn’t indicate something is wrong with you.
- Now, place your hands over your heart and say something nurturing to yourself, like "May I be kind to myself" or "May I be strong."
(If you prefer listening to a guided version, you can find recordings of this exercise and others at Neff's site.)
11. Try a digital detox.
Each day, aim to disconnect from your devices for at least 30 minutes. Or remove the app that drains your time by encouraging endless scrolling. Doing this helps you reclaim your time for meaningful activities, stay fully present, and reduces the temptation to compare yourself negatively with others. Studies have shown that those who practice a digital detox—such as batching phone notifications, leaving their phones outside the bedroom, or limiting social media usage—experience greater happiness and reduced feelings of anxiety and depression.
12. Embrace the humor in life.
Humor boosts feel-good neurotransmitters and helps reduce the body's stress response. For a week, make it a nightly habit to jot down three funny moments from your day—whether something you heard, saw, or did—and explain why they were amusing. It could be a witty line from a TV show or a silly song you sang for your cat. In one study, participants who completed this exercise each night for a week experienced an immediate reduction in depression, and even six months later, they reported higher levels of happiness compared to those who didn’t do the exercise.
