Buzz
Athletes are often celebrated for their physical prowess, but not necessarily for their intellect. Many struggle with expressing themselves clearly... let's be honest, most aren't exactly known for their eloquence. Here's a collection of the top 15 moments where athletes left us in stitches, whether by being utterly clueless, stating the blatantly obvious, or simply being wildly outrageous.
1 Quotes 1 – 5
1. “It doesn’t matter if it’s my left hand or right hand. I’m amphibious.” – Charles Shackleford
To be honest… He really can breathe underwater as well.
2. “Whenever Detroit scores over 100 points and keeps the opposing team under 100, they nearly always come out on top.” – Doug Collins
… Nearly? What about those rare exceptions?
3. “I’m deeply grateful to my parents, particularly my mom and dad.” – Greg Norman
And let’s not forget the other parents he conveniently left out.
4. “Rich Folkers is getting sick in the bullpen.” – Jerry Coleman
Is he unwell? Let’s hope he can still take the mound today.
5. “The racers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and another on the accelerator.” – Bob Varsha
Now that’s some seriously skilled driving.
2 Quotes 6 – 10
6. “This sport [boxing] can be summarized in just two words: ‘You never know.’” – Lou Duva
Just two words? Alright, hard to disagree with that.
7. “When you return to the dugout to a roaring celebration and your teammates are pounding on you—there’s truly no better feeling.” – Matt Stairs
Wait… what did he just say?
8. “The NFL, much like life, is packed with idiots.” – Randy Cross
Nothing could be more accurate.
8. “He’s the type of person who wakes up at six in the morning, no matter what the clock says.” – Lou Duva… once more.
…Alright Lou, sure.
10. “It’s not something you want to witness—hookers interacting with players in that manner.” – Murry Mexted
In context, it actually makes sense…
3 Quotes 11 – 15
11. “I don’t know. I’ve never tried smoking Astroturf.” – Tug McGraw
When questioned about his preference between grass and Astroturf, Tugger came up with this classic response.
12. “Baseball is 90% mental. The remaining half is physical.” – Yogi Berra
And since Yogi blessed us with so many gems, here’s an extra one: “When you reach a fork in the road, take it.”
13. “We’re planning to turn this team around 360 degrees.” – Jason Kidd
So, you’re going to spin it all the way around and end up facing the same direction? Maybe you should reconsider and stay in college, Jason.
14. “He treats us like adults. He even allows us to wear earrings.” – Torrin Polk
Earrings—clearly the most crucial thing a college football coach can provide for his team.
15. Reporter: “Did you get a chance to see the Parthenon during your time in Greece?” Shaquille O’Neal: “Honestly, I can’t recall the names of all the clubs we hit up.”
At least you did the NBA proud while you were there, Shaq.
