Buzz
Have you heard the joke about the inexperienced hotel worker? It’s featured in Puniana, a wildly entertaining compilation of Victorian puns. A 1867 review of the book notes, 'Many of the puns are ironically good precisely because they are so terrible.'
This book is a joy to read. 'Joke books were incredibly diverse,' says Dr. Bob Nicholson, a historian at Edge Hill University and specialist in Victorian humor, in an interview with Mytour. 'Puniana is an endlessly quirky barrage of puns spanning hundreds of pages.'
Nicholson explains that many of the puns in the book are conundrums, presented as riddles (similar to knock-knock jokes) that were a hit at 19th-century social gatherings. 'Having a clever pun or conundrum, especially one that’s new to others, was a great way to spark conversation at dinner parties,' he adds.
Without further delay, here are 30 of Puniana’s side-splitting—or perhaps cringe-worthy—riddle puns that could make you the star of your next social gathering.
1. How is a beehive different from a sick potato?
There’s no difference; one is a beeholder, and the other is a speck’d tatur.
2. Which musical instrument is similar to a poorly-rated European hotel?
A vile-inn. [You wouldn’t enjoy staying in a foreign vile-inn for too long; you’d need to return to your Bass-soon!]
3. Why does a door always seem to be in the subjunctive mood?
Because it’s always wood (would)—or at least it should be!
4. Why does witnessing a schoolboy being thoroughly disciplined evoke the same reaction as seeing a man lifting half a pig from a hook?
Because he’s a pork-reacher (poor creature)!
5. How is a four-quart jug similar to a lady’s side-saddle?
Because it holds a gall-on.
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6. Why is it impossible to distinguish a lady’s genuine hysterics from her fake ones?
Because, in both scenarios, it’s a feint.
7. Which type of melody is universally loved the most?
For-tune, composed entirely of banknotes!
8. What’s the most effective method to eliminate ants?
Strike your aunt on the head with a hammer!
9. How can you ensure a coat lasts as long as possible?
Start by making the trousers and waistcoat first.
10. Why do birds seem so gloomy in the early hours?
Because their tiny bills are covered in dew!
11. When is soup most likely to escape from the saucepan?
When there’s a leek inside.
12. When does a sculptor burst into uncontrollable fits?
When he creates expressions and—suddenly—bursts!
13. Why does the isthmus of Suez resemble the first u in 'cucumber'?
Because it’s sandwiched between two seas.
14. When did the world have only two vowels?
During the era of No-a, before U and I came into existence!
15. If a tree were to shatter a window, what would the window exclaim?
Tree-mend-us! [A playful nod to its pane, naturally.]
16. Why does a gardener seem so carefree?
Because he’s always raking and spends a lot of time with his hoes!
17. How is a piano similar to an onion?
Because it-smell-odious?
18. Why does a frugal German favor mutton over venison?
Because he prefers 'zat vich is sheep to zat vich is deer!'
19. How can you tell an honest laundress from a dishonest one?
One presses your clothes, the other takes them.
20. Why is a man who never bets just as bad as a habitual gambler?
Because he’s no better.
21. Why is a baker considered highly imprudent?
Because he’s always selling what he kneads himself!
22. Why is breaking into an old man’s house surprisingly easy?
Because his gait is unsteady and his hair is sparse.
23. Where is the best place to show compassion for the poor?
In your pocket, naturally!
24. How is a beautiful, well-dressed, stylish girl similar to a frugal housekeeper?
Because she creates a lot of fuss over a tiny waist.
25. Why should a candle-maker never deserve sympathy?
Because all his creations are wicked, and when exposed, his wicked works are simply laughed at.
26. In which key should a love confession be delivered?
Be mine, ah (B minor)!
27. How can we tell the Queen supports the penny postage system?
Because she openly supports it!
28. Why is the Prince of Wales, reflecting on his mother’s rule, similar to a rainbow?
Because it’s the son’s reflection on a stable reign!
29. Why is it nearly certain that Shakespeare worked as a broker?
Because no one has provided as many stock references.
30. How is a judge’s nose comparable to the center of the earth?
Because it’s the scenter of gravity.
