40 Essential Etiquette Guidelines Every Royal Wedding Guest Must Adhere To

Should you ever receive the rare privilege of being invited to a royal wedding (while Princes William and Harry have settled down, there are still numerous eligible members within the British royal family), you'll feel far more at ease if you're familiar with the dos and don'ts. And no, it’s not just about identifying the salad fork (though that’s crucial too). Royal occasions come with their own unique protocols—some straightforward, others less so. To ensure you don’t make a faux pas on your royal friend’s special day, here are 40 etiquette tips you’ll absolutely need to know.

1. Failing to RSVP to the wedding invitation? Don’t even think about attending.

It’s common sense that you shouldn’t attend any wedding—royal or not—without RSVPing to confirm your attendance. Don’t imagine you can stroll into Westminster Abbey and expect the royal family to hastily accommodate you.

In 2011, the King of Cambodia failed to reply to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding invitation, resulting in him watching the event on TV like everyone else, rather than joining other international royals in person.

2. Attending solo? That’s perfectly fine!

If you’re attending without a plus one, there’s no need to fret at a royal wedding. As long as you inform the couple beforehand that you’ll be arriving alone, going solo is completely acceptable.

“Prince Harry and Meghan are known for their matchmaking skills, having been introduced themselves,” Meier noted, “and what better occasion to bring people together?”

3. Avoid wearing white, cream, or black at all costs.

This guideline is universally understood. However, the Queen emphasized it explicitly for guests invited to William and Kate’s 2011 wedding—through a 22-page Etiquette Book distributed by Buckingham Palace—stating, “Cream or white attire is inappropriate. That privilege belongs solely to the bride.”

“We avoid white to prevent overshadowing the bride,” CNN royal commentator Victoria Arbiter explained to Us Weekly, adding that since the wedding is a spring daytime event, floral or patterned dresses with a white or cream base are acceptable, provided the pattern dominates.

On the flip side, black is also a no-go (unless paired with brighter colors as a jacket or accessory). “Black is traditionally associated with mourning,” Arbiter noted. “Victoria Beckham opted for navy at Prince William and Kate’s wedding, which appeared refined and appropriate, as it wasn’t black.”

For male guests, “Navy or grey suits are standard for weddings, and flashy waistcoats or ties should be avoided,” Lucy Hume, an etiquette expert and publisher of Debrett's Peerage, advised Town & Country Magazine.

4. Embrace British style (if you’re British).

International guests are free to wear designs from any country. However, British attendees should honor the tradition of patriotism by selecting outfits from British designers—and, if giving a gift, opting for one from a British brand is highly encouraged.

5. A stylish hat is a must, but it shouldn’t be overly extravagant.

Fancy headwear is a hallmark of royal events, as it’s a mandatory part of the dress code. The Evening Standard notes that female guests are expected to wear a full hat—not a fascinator. (This custom is believed to have biblical roots.) While many enjoy experimenting with hat designs, certain etiquette rules still apply.

“Choosing the right hat and keeping it tasteful is crucial,” Buckingham Palace’s Etiquette Book advised. (Princess Beatrice of York, pictured above, likely missed this note.) “Avoid quirky details or anything that might divert attention from the bride,” Hume added. Additionally, ensure the hat isn’t so large or obstructive that it blocks the view of guests seated behind you. This is why male attendees were instructed, “Top hats should be carried, not worn, inside the church.”

6. Exposing bare legs is deemed unsuitable.

Bare legs have never been acceptable in royal circles, a fact that became widely known when Kate Middleton revived the trend of wearing pantyhose after joining the royal family. If you’re fortunate enough to attend a royal event, it’s wise to adhere to this rule—unless you want to face criticism for your choice of hosiery. “Always wear tights,” Hanson advised in Town & Country. “[Former British Prime Minister] David Cameron's wife skipped tights [at the 2011 Royal Wedding], which was rather unfortunate.”

7. Revealing your shoulders is unacceptable—and the same applies to your toes.

When selecting a wedding outfit, it’s wise to lean toward a more modest and conservative style. “Women should dress appropriately for church,” states the Palace’s Etiquette Guide. “This means covering shoulders, wearing a hat, and avoiding flashy or attention-grabbing attire. Remember, it’s the bride’s special day.” If you’re considering a pantsuit, reconsider! “Pantsuits are generally discouraged,” as per the official guide.

Exposed toes can also be seen as too revealing. “Shoulders should be covered, hemlines should be modest, and closed-toe shoes are preferred,” Myka Meier, the Plaza Hotel's etiquette expert, advised in Town & Country.

8. Adhere to the traditional color code for attire.

Men are typically required to wear “morning dress” to royal weddings—this includes a black, navy, or gray single-breasted tailcoat, a waistcoat, pinstriped trousers, and a white shirt.

This leaves little room for personal fashion statements. However, any male guest considering breaking the norm with a vibrant tie or handkerchief should reconsider. Debrett’s advises against flashy accessories.

9. Transparent clothing is unacceptable and must be avoided entirely.

While men steer clear of bold colors and distracting hues, women should avoid outfits that are too sheer, lightweight, or see-through. Opting for solid colors is the most appropriate and respectful choice for such occasions.

10. High heels are recommended—just ensure they’re not excessively tall.

Avoid repeating Victoria Beckham’s mistake at William and Kate’s wedding by wearing excessively high heels. “Steer clear of towering heels,” etiquette expert William Hanson advised in Town & Country. “It’s impractical and against etiquette. Victoria Beckham wore very high stilettos [to William and Catherine’s wedding]. Remember, Westminster Abbey has uneven church floors, which aren’t ideal for such footwear.”

11. Tiaras are off-limits unless you’re the bride.

When it comes to headwear, wearing a tiara is inappropriate unless you’re the bride—even if you have the privilege or simply feel regal. “Tiaras are reserved for brides at daytime British weddings,” Arbiter clarified. Regarding Harry and Meghan’s wedding, she added, “Meghan might skip this tradition since it’s not mandatory, but the Queen will likely offer to lend her one. And when the Queen offers, it’s rare to decline.” (This also covers the “something borrowed” aspect of the bride’s attire.)

12. If you hold an official title or honor, ensure you display it properly.

The British Honours System, one of the world’s oldest and most intricate, awards titles and distinctions twice a year (on New Year’s and the Queen’s official birthday) to British or Commonwealth citizens who have made significant contributions in their fields. Whether it’s a knighthood, damehood, or a lower-ranking honor like an OBE (Order of the British Empire) or MBE (Member of the British Empire), these accolades often include a ceremonial medal. If you’re fortunate enough to receive one, you’re allowed to wear it at a royal wedding—as long as you adhere to the guidelines.

Soccer star David Beckham, OBE, learned this rule the hard way when he arrived at Westminster Abbey for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s 2011 wedding with his Order of the British Empire medal incorrectly pinned to his right lapel. Tradition requires that such honors be worn on the left lapel or over the left side of the chest. Fortunately, he either noticed the mistake or was promptly informed, as he moved the medal to the proper side before the ceremony began.

13. Be ready to bow or curtsy when necessary.

In the presence of Queen Elizabeth II, it’s customary to curtsy or bow. “While Americans aren’t obligated to bow or curtsy as the Queen passes, they may choose to do so as a sign of respect,” states the Etiquette Book, which provides guidance on the correct method. “Ladies should place their right ankle behind their left, dip at the knee, keep arms at their sides, and slightly bow their heads. Gentlemen should bend their elbows, place a hand palm-in at their waist, and bow slightly at the waist while lowering their heads.”

14. Always keep your hands at your sides (and never in your pockets).

The Palace’s Etiquette Book leaves no detail untouched, even instructing guests on how to position their limbs: “When standing, keep your hands at your sides,” it recommends. “Men should avoid putting their hands in their pockets, as Europeans consider this gesture impolite.”

15. Handshakes come with their own set of rules (which shouldn’t come as a surprise).

If you follow all the rules perfectly, you might get the chance to meet a royal family member in person—but don’t let your guard down. Even handshakes have specific guidelines. They should be neither too brief nor too lengthy, firm but not overly so. Remember, this is a wedding reception, not a job interview, and you’re greeting royalty, not a potential boss. Regardless, maintaining warm eye contact is essential.

16. Don’t try to become overly familiar with the Queen.

Being in the same room as the Queen doesn’t guarantee you’ll meet her—and if you do, it’s only on her terms. “Standard protocol dictates that you shouldn’t approach the Queen or initiate conversation,” Larcombe stated. Myka Meier reinforced this, advising, “Overzealous fans should take note: Never approach the Queen unless she approaches you first. Touching her is also off-limits unless she offers her hand.” And under no circumstances should you ask for a selfie, no matter how much you’ve had to drink. Speaking of which …

17. If you do meet the Queen, ensure you address her correctly.

If you’re fortunate enough to meet the Queen, avoid embarrassing yourself. “When introduced to the Queen, she will extend her hand first, and you should address her as ‘Your Majesty,’” Broke-Smith explained. “During conversation, refer to her as Ma’am, pronounced like jam or ham, not palm.”

The Etiquette Book provides even clearer instructions on proper behavior:

“Do not touch the Queen. Do not shake her hand unless she initiates it. Do not speak to her unless she speaks to you first. If she addresses you, end your first response with ‘Your Majesty’ and your second with ‘Ma’am,’ pronounced like ‘jam.’”

If you’re tempted to hug Her Majesty, recall how Australia’s former prime minister Paul Keating was nicknamed “The Lizard of Oz” by the media after he placed his arm on the Queen’s back.

18. A blender might be a thoughtful gift for a regular wedding—but it’s entirely inappropriate for a royal couple.

Royal wedding gifts are a delicate matter: Purchasing a toaster for a couple living in a royal palace seems odd and likely unnecessary. Yet arriving without a gift feels impolite. (This dilemma might explain the array of unusual gifts royals have received over the years, such as the tandem bike Boris Johnson gifted William and Kate.) “Attending a royal wedding is a tremendous honor,” Lisa Gaché, an etiquette expert at Beverly Hills Manners, told the Los Angeles Times. “To express gratitude for the invitation, the expectation is a bit higher.” She recommends donating $500 to a charity the couple supports. Even if you opt for a physical gift, “Don’t bring it to the wedding,” Hanson advised, noting that Markle’s status as a divorcée adds another layer of complexity: “This is Meghan Markle’s second wedding. In both American and British etiquette, especially in Britain, you typically don’t request gifts for a second wedding, as the couple likely already has household items like toasters and French presses. It wouldn’t surprise me if they prefer charitable donations instead.” Which is precisely what they chose.

19. Arrive at the venue one hour early.

Arriving after the bride has begun her walk down the aisle is bad enough, but at a royal wedding, it’s even worse to arrive after the Queen. According to Cosmopolitan UK, guests should be at the venue an hour before the ceremony starts to avoid crossing paths with Queen Elizabeth II. “You don’t want to arrive after her,” Duncan Larcombe, former Royal Editor for The Sun, said.

20. Don’t take the first available seat in the church.

If you think arriving early guarantees a prime seat, think again: “Seats are preassigned,” Larcombe explained to Cosmopolitan UK. “They’re numbered to match the invitation.” Given this is a royal wedding, tradition reserves the right side of the church for the royal family, regardless of whether the bride or groom is the royal.

21. Socialize if you wish—but always remember your assigned position.

If you’re invited to the reception or post-ceremony celebration, feel free to mingle and chat with other guests until the royal couple arrives. However, once the event officially begins, you’re expected to promptly take your seat. To avoid confusion, it’s wise to familiarize yourself with your designated seating arrangement beforehand, ensuring you can locate your table without delay.

22. Avoid using hand gestures.

While you might feel inclined to give the groom a thumbs up or signal “OK” to the bride after their vows, refrain from doing so. “Avoid making hand gestures,” the Etiquette Book cautions. “In Europe, the ‘OK’ and ‘Thumbs Up’ gestures carry very different connotations and can be highly offensive.”

23. You can bring your smartphone if absolutely necessary, but avoid using it.

The official Etiquette Book was clear about mobile phones: “Obviously, turn your phone OFF.” Larcombe reinforced this to Cosmopolitan UK, stating that while guests might carry their phones, “They are absolutely forbidden from using them.”

24. Forget about taking your own photos.

What occurs at a royal wedding remains private—unless the royal family decides to share details or images. Regarding the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding, Hume explained to Town & Country: “Photography inside Windsor Castle will likely be prohibited, following the 2011 precedent ... And at any wedding, you shouldn’t take or share photos before the official ones are released.” “No images surfaced from William and Kate’s reception—anyone violating this rule would undoubtedly face consequences,” Larcombe added. (Not to mention earning the Queen’s disapproval.)

25. Stay off social media entirely.

Just as unofficial photos are prohibited, Buckingham Palace’s official stance on social media is: “Don’t photograph the Queen with your phone as she passes by ... Savor the moment instead of shoving a camera in her face. Avoid updating your Facebook status. Don’t tweet.” Understood?

26. If the invitation specifies black-tie attire for men, women should choose floor-length gowns.

Historically, royal weddings were evening events with only a small number of attendees. It wasn’t until the Victorian era that they evolved into larger, daytime celebrations. (For example, Queen Mary II married William III at 9 PM in her bedchamber.)

Today, if the ceremony is held during the day, there’s often an evening reception—where men are typically asked to wear black tie, signaling that women should don floor-length evening gowns with covered shoulders. Cocktail dresses or shorter, revealing outfits are inappropriate.

27. Avoid forming lines (unless instructed otherwise).

At formal meet-and-greet events, royals often move slowly along lines of guests or well-wishers. However, at informal gatherings like receptions or after-parties, standing in straight lines is frowned upon. As the BBC notes, the preferred approach is to form semicircles with other guests, and ushers or royal staff may subtly guide attendees into these more sociable arrangements.

28. Never turn your back on a royal family member.

Turning your back on a royal is a serious etiquette violation, so doing so on their wedding day is unacceptable. If you need to turn away, politely excuse yourself or step back respectfully before turning around.

29. Dinner conversation begins on the royal’s right, then shifts to the left.

Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton reportedly learned this rule the hard way: royal dining protocol requires starting conversations with the person to the royal’s right during the first course, then switching to the left for the next course.

Hamilton was reportedly seated next to the Queen at a banquet and attempted to start a conversation, only to be corrected: "No," the Queen instructed him, "you speak that way first, and I’ll speak this way, then I’ll return to you." Do you really want your most memorable moment to be a reprimand from the Queen?

30. Always follow the Queen’s example.

One of the most unusual and longstanding royal traditions—even observed at royal weddings—is that dinner guests must mirror the Queen’s dining pace. Once she finishes her meal, everyone else must stop eating, including the bride and groom.

This age-old custom stems from royal precedence and respect: if the head of state has completed their meal, they shouldn’t be kept waiting while others finish theirs. Today, it serves a practical purpose: by aligning the meal’s pacing with the Queen, royal caterers ensure dishes are served perfectly cooked and on time. Interestingly, the Queen is said to be mindful of her role as the meal’s pace-setter; rumors suggest she deliberately slows down if she notices others struggling to keep up.

31. Avoid proposing a toast (unless specifically invited to do so).

Toasting the newlyweds is a kind gesture—and after a few glasses of champagne, it might seem like a fitting addition to the celebration. However, such spontaneous acts are strongly discouraged.

Guests are expected to toast the couple’s health and happiness, but the person delivering the toast is pre-selected and informed in advance. Despite the toast appearing spontaneous, there are specific rules governing it. “The toast should not be proposed by the father of either the bride or groom, but by the most distinguished guest present,” who is notified “several days beforehand,” as per 19th-century etiquette guidelines.

32. Avoid overindulging in alcohol. However, do learn the proper way to hold your champagne glass.

While royal weddings are extravagant, excessive drinking is never acceptable. “Do not devour food or drink hastily at the reception,” the Etiquette Book advises, “and, for heaven’s sake, don’t get drunk.” Of course, champagne is a wedding staple, but avoid embarrassment by holding your glass correctly. “Champagne will be served, and you must hold the glass by the stem,” royal etiquette expert Jean Broke-Smith explained. “During formal dinners, many guests struggle with proper cutlery use, let alone selecting the right utensils. Always eat from the outside in, and if faced with multiple glasses, know which one to use. When drinking tea, lift the cup, not the saucer, holding it delicately with your thumb and index finger, and return it to the saucer after each sip.”

33. Fold your napkin neatly after use.

In refined settings, keeping a napkin on your lap is standard. However, at royal wedding banquets—and all royal events—there are strict guidelines for napkin use. First, do not place the napkin on your lap until the Queen (or the highest-ranking royal present) does so. Once in your lap, fold it in half lengthwise. When using it, wipe your mouth into the fold, then refold it to conceal any marks. Keep it off the table until the meal concludes. (Practicing this beforehand might be wise.)

34. Avoid asking the royal couple personal questions—or engaging in political discussions.

If you’re fortunate enough to converse with the royal couple, avoid personal or political topics. Personal inquiries are considered rude, while political discussions are off-limits since the monarchy must remain politically neutral. Stick to light, casual conversation—unless the royal steers the discussion elsewhere.

35. The bride’s bouquet won’t be tossed for anyone to catch.

A common wedding tradition involves single female guests competing to catch the bride’s bouquet. However, at a royal wedding, this doesn’t happen. The late Queen Mother began a tradition in 1923 by placing her bouquet on the grave of the Unknown Warrior in Westminster Abbey, honoring those who served in Britain’s armed forces. This custom continues today, meaning there’s no bouquet toss.

36. Don’t initiate a conversation with someone else while speaking to a royal family member.

“In the presence of royalty, it’s considered highly improper to engage in separate conversations with others,” states a 19th-century guide to royal etiquette. The only exception is “to give instructions to an attendant or make a brief comment relevant to the occasion.”

37. Keep smiling—no matter what.

An estimated 1.9 billion people worldwide tuned in to watch Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s 2018 wedding. With so many eyes on you, few things could be more embarrassing than a wardrobe malfunction or similar mishap.

If such an incident occurs, handle it with grace—no panic, no distress, no drama. Avoid anything that might overshadow the couple. “If a heel breaks, a button pops, or your hat falls,” Debrett’s advises, “remember you’re there to celebrate the couple, just like everyone else, so smile!”

38. Being invited to a royal wedding doesn’t make you best friends with the couple.

You might assume that receiving an invitation to a royal wedding means you can now consider the royal couple your friends. However, before you send that Facebook friend request, they’ll make it clear—politely—if they wish to stay in touch.

After the ceremony, “wedding cards are sent to those the newlyweds wish to maintain a relationship with,” explains a 19th-century etiquette guide. If you don’t receive such a card, it’s best to take the hint and not reach out.

39. Be ready to celebrate as long as the couple desires.

Between the wedding ceremony and often two receptions, a royal wedding is a marathon event for the couple and their guests. If the bride and groom decide to keep the festivities going late into the night, you should be prepared to stay and celebrate with them. “You shouldn’t leave before the newlyweds,” Hanson advised in Town & Country. “At that point, they’ll be the most senior royals in the room.” In short: Make sure you’re well-rested!

40. Mistakes happen—and the royal family is accustomed to them.

If you believe you’ve committed a social blunder, crossed a line, or violated one of the many etiquette rules expected at such events, don’t stress. Etiquette guidelines aren’t rigid laws—they’re more like suggestions. Given how frequently the royals interact with people, they’re well aware that not everything goes according to plan.

“You won’t be in trouble if you make a mistake,” Lucy Hume, an etiquette expert at Debrett’s, told the Daily Mail. “Apologize if you think you’ve offended someone, but avoid panicking and stay composed.” As with any social mishap, overreacting often exacerbates the situation.