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Take proactive steps to ensure a harmonious living situation with your adult child at home. Explore more insights on parenting.
Hemera Technologies/ThinkstockThis scenario is more common than many realize. After years of hard work, fulfilling responsibilities, and even funding your child's education, just as you begin to enjoy some tranquility, your adult child requests to move back in.
This could be due to a lack of job opportunities for recent graduates, your child losing their job and facing financial difficulties, or needing a supportive environment after a tough breakup or divorce, possibly bringing children along.
No matter the reason, if you're about to live under the same roof as your adult child, establishing clear guidelines beforehand is crucial. What initial action should parents take when their grown child moves back in? Discover more on the following page.
5: Understand the Situation
Before settling in, it's essential to have a candid discussion about your child's intentions and living setup. Ensure everyone is aware of the reasons behind their return. Collaboration is key, whether the aim is for your adult child to eventually move out after finding employment and transportation or simply to stay temporarily before moving on.
Having a shared understanding and a clear objective will make the situation more comfortable for everyone involved.
The current generation of young adults, aged 20 to 35, is often referred to as the Boomerang Generation because of their tendency to move back in with their parents.
4: Don't Spend Your Retirement
You might be cheerful now, but how much more cash are you prepared to give away?
BananaStock/ThinkstockWhile it might be tempting to use your savings to assist your child in recovering financially, it's wise to think twice before writing a check to cover their car payments or credit card debts, unless you have substantial savings. Naturally, you want to support your children, no matter their age (which is why you allowed them to move back in).
However, there are boundaries. You must avoid actions that could endanger your financial security, and it's not advisable to extend your working years just to finance your child's luxury car or expensive accessories. Every dollar you allocate to their issues is one less dollar for your retirement, emergencies, or even a well-deserved holiday. Supporting family is commendable, but self-care is equally important.
3: Agree on a Time Limit
Forget about months or years—some parents end up living with their adult children for decades!
The thought of sharing your home with a gray-haired version of your struggling child might seem absurd now, but it’s a real possibility. That’s why it’s crucial to agree on a move-out date before they return. If the deadline arrives and they’re still not ready, you can discuss extending it.
From the start, make it clear that their stay is temporary. Whether it’s a few months or a couple of years, address the future before it becomes an awkward topic.
2: Remember Whose Roof You're All Living Under
Even though she’s an adult and technically independent, your house still has rules. Whether she’s 13 or 30, your daughter can’t act without consideration. While she may no longer have curfews or screen time limits, it’s reasonable to expect her to inform you of her plans, whether she’ll be home for dinner, or if she’ll be staying out overnight. These discussions might feel uncomfortable, but they’re far better than spending sleepless nights worrying about her well-being.
Some childhood expectations should remain. Chores like washing dishes or taking out the trash are still fair game. If your adult child has a steady income, charging rent is a smart move. Not only will it help offset household expenses, but it also teaches financial responsibility, reducing the likelihood of them needing to move back in later.
In 2010, approximately 42 percent of college graduates from 2006 were still living at home.
1: Accept That Your Child Isn't a Kid Anymore
Your child has grown up! For evidence, just flip through the baby album and compare those pictures to the adult standing before you.
Jupiterimages/ThinkstockWe hinted at this earlier, but let’s be clear: while he’ll always be your little boy, he’s now a fully grown man with his own life and priorities.
He’s likely to stay out overnight occasionally, and while it’s fine to set boundaries about bringing dates home, you can’t expect him to live like a monk.
If your adult child returns home with kids, let him establish the rules for his children. Avoid stepping into his parenting role. While your input matters, the final decisions should rest with him, not you—even if you’re footing the bills.
Let’s face it: having an adult child move back home isn’t ideal for anyone. Even if you’re willing to help, it’s a significant disruption and financial strain. Your child likely didn’t envision living with parents for weeks, months, or even years. Mutual respect for boundaries and authority is essential. If things don’t improve, consider other options—even if it means nudging your grown child out of the nest. It’s tough but necessary.
