Buzz
Since the late 1800s, painkillers have been widely accessible to help with various aches, including headaches. While they don't always work perfectly, they certainly seem like a better alternative compared to some of these bizarre treatments from the past.
1. Set your head on fire
Apparently, when your brain feels like it’s about to burst from your skull, the logical solution is to add even more fire. That was the advice of Arateus of Cappadocia, an ancient Greek physician. He humorously warned that his methods might just be 'dangerous treatments':
[S]have the hair removed (which, in its natural state, is actually beneficial for the head) and then cauterize (burn) the area just deep enough to reach the muscles. If you prefer to cauterize down to the bone, do so in an area without muscles. Burning muscles will cause cramps. Some physicians choose to make an incision along the forehead near the hairline and scrape or chisel the bone down to the diploe, allowing flesh to cover the area. Others make a hole in the bone down to the meninges. These treatments are risky and should only be done when the headache persists despite all other efforts, when the patient remains strong and healthy.
2. Place a dead mole on your head
Hats off to Ali ibn Isa al-Kahhal, also known as “the oculist,” whose groundbreaking work advanced medicine by several centuries. In the 10th century, Ibn Isa became the first physician to identify the symptoms of Vogt-Koyanagi-Harada syndrome, an eye disease. While many of his contributions were far ahead of his time, his understanding of medicine was sometimes a bit off. This was evident when he confidently recommended the cure for headaches: simply strap a dead mole to your head. Problem solved.
3. Take a warm, sweet bath
Moses Maimonides, a 12th-century physician and astronomer from Cordoba, was no stranger to the constant complaints of headache sufferers. His solution, however, was refreshingly simple and did not involve dead animals. Maimonides suggested soaking in a bath of warm, sweetened water—preferably honey—which he believed would draw out the vapors responsible for causing head pain. In truth, this isn’t bad advice; many people today, after a long, exhausting day, may find a soothing bath a great way to ease a headache or simply unwind.
4. Add some eels to your bath
Electricity and the brain don’t exactly make the best combination, to be honest. However, for centuries, the two have been intertwined in medicine. Electroshock therapy, for example, is one well-known application. In 1762, the Dutch Society of Sciences published a collection of treatises, which included a report from South America describing the alleged benefits of electric eels for relieving brain pain:
When a slave complains of a severe headache, they place one hand on their head and the other on the fish, and they will be immediately cured, without fail.
Did you catch that? Without fail.
5. Trepanation
Ah, the ancient practice of trepanning: so enduring that it made a comeback as a headache cure 2,500 years after it first emerged. The cavemen of the 8th century BC were known to drill holes in their skulls to relieve pressure on the brain—carelessly ignoring the damage they caused to their own bodies. Though the practice never truly disappeared, it did fall out of favor for a time.
That is, until the 1600s. Suddenly, trepanation was all the rage! Holes were being drilled into skulls left and right in the hopes of preventing pain. If only they had access to modern painkillers, a great deal of suffering and risk of infection could have been avoided.
