Buzz
Ever been stuck on a dreadful first date but felt obligated to ride it out? This tip is just what you need.
It's tough to judge someone's true character in a single meeting, but sometimes it's clear right away that they're not a match. Perhaps they made an offensive remark, acted too aggressive, or gave off unsettling vibes. No matter the reason, you don't have to endure a miserable date if you're not feeling it.
Sure, it's not easy to walk away. On one hand, you don’t want to seem rude. On the other, you're worried about provoking an angry or entitled reaction. You may feel like you're trapped. In such moments, Chris Voss, the FBI’s former lead kidnapping negotiator, offers valuable advice in Moneyish’s original series, 'Everyday Hostages.' Begin by offering an apology to soften the blow, which will get them curious and attentive to what you say next:
I’m sorry. I know this might make me appear like a bad person, self-centered, or inconsiderate. But I’m afraid I have to leave, and I need you to allow me to go.
By saying you need them to let you go, you make them feel more in control and empowered. When they 'give' you permission to leave—though you never really needed it—they'll believe they made the right choice, helping them feel better about themselves. If necessary, offer another apology and make your escape.
If you find this approach too direct, you could always fake a bathroom break or take a call from a friend pretending to be someone important. But if they seem decent enough, consider being upfront with them. Who knows? They might be eager to leave too.
