Buzz
Hello.
We need to have a conversation.
More specifically, let's talk about the habit of using periods at the end of texts and instant messages. (Once again.)
Though many of us use periods constantly in our emails, reports, or articles, adding that small dot at the end of a text message somehow changes the meaning from ‘this sentence has ended’ to ‘maybe this relationship is finished.’ But why does something so simple come across as passive-aggressive? To understand this, we spoke with Gretchen McCulloch, internet linguist and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Because Internet.
Why do we even use periods?
When it comes to text message periods, McCulloch encourages us to step back and think about how we separate statements. In a chat-based format—whether that’s in texts, Slack, or another messaging platform—most people do this by sending separate messages for each sentence, phrase, or thought. However, in traditional writing, the standard method of separating ideas is with a period, or occasionally a comma.
“We don’t always speak in full sentences—we speak in utterances,” McCulloch explains. “So in casual writing, we’re constantly looking for ways to break up utterances that don’t feel as ‘final’ as a period.” Some people prefer dashes, while others opt for the enigmatic ellipsis at the end of a thought…
Does placing a period at the end of a text express emotion?
When we send a text message and then immediately start a new one, there’s no emotional weight added, McCulloch clarifies. She explains that ‘sending’ a message, simply because you have to do it for the recipient to see it, doesn’t carry any additional meaning other than the fact that it was sent.
Consequently, using periods at the end of texts—whether we realize it or not—tends to impart an emotional tone. While periods are neutral when writing on paper, in the context of text messages, they acquire additional significance. McCulloch notes, ‘Any time you deviate from the default, people tend to read extra meaning into it.’
In the case of a period at the end of a text, it’s commonly understood to signal seriousness, formality, or even a shift in tone. McCulloch offers an example: texting ‘I feel awful.’ A period here emphasizes the gravity of your emotions. Or consider texting ‘I just don’t know.’ The period here communicates genuine sadness and uncertainty.
The potential for passive-aggressive tones arises, McCulloch suggests, when a message that should be positive is paired with this ‘seriousness marker’—the period. For instance, texts like these become suspect in their intent:
‘OK!’
“OK”
“OK.”
According to McCulloch, when a message ends with an exclamation mark, it suggests the sender is eager or excited to engage with the recipient. A message with no punctuation is more neutral. But ending the message with a period places a ‘seriousness marker’ on a word typically seen as positive or neutral, which can lead to the interpretation of the message as passive-aggressive.
Why do our minds create this anxiety? What purpose does it serve? McCulloch suggests that the confusion arises when we add periods to short messages that don’t need them for clarity. (Such as the “OK” texts mentioned earlier.) Here, we can choose to end a message with something that expresses enthusiasm or positivity (like an exclamation mark!) or simply omit punctuation, keeping it neutral. Opting to end a message with a period in situations where it isn’t necessary “is where people start to feel that the period seems passive-aggressive,” McCulloch explains.
Sometimes, using a period in a text is perfectly fine.
McCulloch suggests that ending a text with a period isn't always a sign of passive aggression; it really depends on the situation. For instance, in a message with multiple sentences, periods are neutral as they simply separate each sentence. Additionally, some people habitually end their texts with periods without any particular intention, so in context, their use of periods seems routine rather than strange. In other words, there’s no strict rule that periods at the end of texts automatically indicate hostility.
Does this mean we should be overly cautious about how we use periods at the end of texts and messages? Not really. While it's something to consider if you want to ensure your communication is clear, there are already enough things to think about. So, in the grand scheme of things, it might not be worth stressing over.
