Buzz
Engaging in small talk can be difficult, both in theory and execution. While most people dislike meaningless chatter, connecting with others and building networks is beneficial. So, what’s the alternative if you dislike small talk? Hannah Morgan recommends skipping it altogether and focusing on asking questions. This approach leads to more authentic conversations quickly.
We’ve discussed various strategies to simplify small talk, but the key to improving it is to speak less and inquire more. If the aim is to have genuine, meaningful discussions, avoid clichés like discussing the weather or asking, "So, what do you do?" Here’s her advice:
Recently, while watching TV with my children, I found myself engrossed in Good Luck Charlie, a lighthearted PG sitcom. In one episode, 10-year-old Gabe seeks advice from his mom on how to talk to a girl he likes. Overwhelmed by what to say, he struggles to communicate. His mom wisely suggests he focus on learning about her by asking questions to discover common interests. Following her advice, Gabe asks open-ended questions like, "Tell me about your family," and encourages her with, "Tell me more!" While I didn’t watch the entire episode, the lesson was clear.
Discovering shared interests can spark meaningful conversations. It’s not about showcasing yourself or being clever. Instead, let the other person share their story. Being a good listener is key.
This approach applies to networking and interviews, not just in job searches but also in shaping your future. Building relationships is one of the best forms of career security.
This method is more effective than it may appear. While it might seem obvious that finding common ground is the best way to connect, as someone who finds large groups exhausting, I’ve realized I enjoy listening to others’ stories more than talking about myself. Once the conversation flows, I join in, but you can learn so much by being genuinely interested in others. People will value your curiosity and attentiveness.
Image captured by David Goehring.
