Buzz
If you're uncertain whether it's time to leave a job, end a relationship, step back from a group, or part ways with something that feels okay but not exceptional, here are three questions to consider:
What is it about this situation that's causing me to want to quit? What exactly is the issue?
Is it something I can resolve?
If I can’t resolve it, is there a chance it might improve on its own over time?
Imagine you're part of a group that gathers weekly for beer and board games. You once enjoyed it, but lately, you’ve begun to dread these get-togethers. Should you quit or keep showing up?
The first step is to ask yourself what’s driving you to consider quitting. Are you overwhelmed with commitments, leaving no time for rest? Is your job demanding more than you can handle, or have personal obligations like a partner, an aging parent, or a newborn taken priority? Or maybe it's the addition of a new group member who's negatively affecting the dynamic? Perhaps the group has evolved, and you no longer feel connected to your peers?
Once you’ve pinpointed the underlying issue, the next step is to evaluate if it's something you can resolve. If the problem is manageable—like feeling hungover after game night—you can take action (such as cutting back on the drinks) and see if the desire to quit fades.
If the issue is beyond your control, such as rising work demands, ask yourself if things are likely to improve. Will your workload lighten in the near future, giving you more time and energy for social activities?
If the situation is expected to improve soon, hang in there. Alternatively, let your group know that you need a break for a month until your work commitments ease. However, if the intensity of your job is likely to persist, consider whether it's time to leave the board game group—or ask yourself the same three questions about your job.
At The Lily, career expert Amy Gallo outlines this approach in the form of a flowchart, emphasizing that the decision to quit ultimately hinges on whether the issue is beyond your control and whether there's a chance it will change. Of course, quitting a job carries more consequences than quitting a board game group, especially if you don't yet have another job lined up, so you might want to give it some time to see if things improve.
If the situation isn't clear-cut, Gallo recommends giving yourself a specific time frame: decide to stick with the job for three months, six months, or a year, and don't extend that period. "If you keep pushing it out, that is a tell-tale sign," she says. "The key is to establish a reasonable time frame to experiment with what you can control and change—are those changes happening?"
Remember, you can continue with your current job while looking for a better opportunity—and you can maintain your current workout routine while trying out a new fitness class. Similarly, you can keep attending the board game group while exploring a new social club or organization. (This strategy doesn’t work as well for relationships, for obvious reasons.)
However, if you're certain the situation can't be improved or simply don't want to make changes, you can choose to quit and see what new opportunities arise when you create space for something different.
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