Buzz
Imagine if removing a single word from your daily language could instantly improve your fitness and overall life. That word is "mistake." Eliminate it entirely—seriously, erase it from your vocabulary.
The issue with the word mistake lies in its deep-rooted negative societal connotations. People frequently identify themselves by their errors, often attributing them to personal shortcomings. Think back to the last time you said, "I made a mistake." Chances are, you immediately cast judgment on your own character.
Mistakes are a natural part of being human. However, the term often suggests a finality rather than an opportunity to learn and grow, ultimately enhancing your life.
Picture this: You're committed to a strict diet, and your friend's wedding is approaching. Determined to stay on track, you carefully plan around the wedding menu. While you're unsure of the exact dishes, you recall selecting "chicken" when you RSVP'ed.
You’re seated at your table, skipping the champagne, and silently praying that Game of Thrones’ "The Rains of Castamere" doesn’t start playing when your meal arrives. You anticipated a simple grilled chicken, but to your dismay, it’s breaded and swimming in more oil than Paula Deen’s entire kitchen. Despite your shock, you eat it anyway.
"I’ve already ruined my diet," you justify, as your gaze shifts to the wedding cake. The rest is a blur, but after consuming enough cake to edge closer to Type II Diabetes, you finally emerge from a sugar-induced haze.
"I’ve made a mistake," you almost say to yourself. But you’ve learned to avoid that word entirely.
Missteps vs. Mistakes
Those who excel in fitness share a common trait: they view situations like this as "missteps" rather than labeling them as "mistakes."
Labeling something as a mistake suggests a finality—a shameful choice or moral lapse, like a lack of willpower or discipline, resulting in an unwanted and irreversible outcome. On the other hand, the term "misstep" emphasizes that the decision is just one part of a larger journey, and you always have the power to adjust your path.
When you reframe the situation as a misstep—a minor detour on your journey—you can practice self-compassion, which reduces the likelihood of repeating the same poor choice. (And let’s face it, you’ll likely attend more weddings in the future.)
Let’s revisit our earlier scenario. Now that we’ve identified it as a misstep—a decision you can avoid in the future—rather than a mistake—a reflection of a potential character flaw—we can learn from it using a technique I call "The Time Machine Exercise."
Imagine you had a Time Machine and could return to the day of the wedding. What could you have done differently to achieve a better outcome? (Besides investing in Apple stock.)
In this exercise, you can’t simply say, "be more disciplined" or "there was nothing I could do." While these might occasionally be valid responses, relying on them too often hinders your ability to grow and learn.
Alternatively, you might have prepared for setbacks by allowing yourself a cheat day or building a caloric cushion. You could have also practiced mindfulness after the initial slip-up, stopping yourself from further harm. This exercise will equip you to make wiser choices in similar situations down the line.
A word of warning: don’t underestimate this exercise—it’s far from easy. Every fiber of your being, every thought in your mind, and even your well-meaning friends who "love you just as you are" will resist change. You’ll be tempted to dismiss the exercise as pointless or claim you already knew the solution—just avoid the chicken. Change is tough, and embracing it is even tougher. But here’s the often-overlooked key to fitness transformation: internal change must precede external change.
Many focus on the external while neglecting the internal. This is evident in shows like The Biggest Loser, where participants push themselves to the limit, striving to "eat less and move more," unaware that their biology sets them up for failure from the beginning.
This is why most contestants (and dieters) eventually regain their lost weight. As we’ve emphasized: fitness is a skill. To truly grow, you must eliminate the word mistake from your vocabulary, enabling internal transformation. Remember, your mistakes don’t define you.
Images by Terrance Heath, Rooners.
