Brooke Shields Opens Up About the Journey of Aging

At Mytour, we’re always eager to hear wisdom from multi-talented women who manage to balance it all. Brooke Shields, a CEO, actor, model, author, thinker, social media star, mom, friend, and wife, could certainly share endless advice on juggling life’s demands. But this time, she’s here to discuss aging. Her latest book, Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old, releases this month, offering her sharp and thoughtful reflections on stepping into the next chapter of her life. The core message? Society doesn’t really let anyone age gracefully. So, what is the woman who has been an enduring icon of beauty doing about it? She’s avoiding drastic procedures, practicing self-compassion, and redefining herself as a symbol of aging with confidence and authenticity.

LAUREN IANNOTTI: Can you elaborate on the book’s title and why it strikes such a chord? It truly resonates deeply.

BROOKE SHIELDS: This is something I’ve sensed for years. People often associate me with a specific period of my life, and they hold onto that image. Because of this, growing older feels like a letdown to them. Not long ago, I was discussing wine vintages with a man, and when I mentioned my age—I was 58 at the time—he froze and said, “You really shouldn’t have told me that.” It wasn’t malicious, just his genuine reaction. It made me think. While I’m not comparing myself to Marilyn Monroe, she remains forever young in our minds. If we saw her at 70, we might think, That’s not the Marilyn we know. There’s a psychological attachment to familiar faces that makes aging a complex topic.

LI: That feels like an extreme example of what everyone experiences.

BS: Absolutely. The more I spoke with women over 40, the clearer it became that the pursuit of youth isn’t just for themselves—it’s also for others. It’s about partners, public perception, and it’s a precarious path. Society doesn’t allow us to simply grow, live our lives, and be content with it.

LI: What do you hope to achieve with this book?

BS: My goal is to spark a dialogue about societal ideals and the true essence of beauty. Beauty isn’t confined to youth—it can manifest in countless ways. While it’s natural to want to look your best, and there are endless methods to achieve that, I aim to offer people the grace and liberty to reflect on their entire lives. They might decide, “I want to do this to enhance my appearance,” or “I dislike my wrinkles,” but only after considering their full life journey. Every woman I know over 40 is remarkable, having lived through incredible experiences—both good and bad.

LI: Aging naturally is often called a “trend.” What’s your take on that?

BS: If this trend is positive and encourages a broader conversation about aging, then I’m all for it. But labeling someone like me, at 59, as “aged” feels off. I hope the focus shifts toward wanting to feel and look our best, rather than chasing unrealistic standards that only set us up for disappointment.

LI: Isn’t it strange that embracing aging, something inevitable, is seen as extraordinary?

BS: I also see it as a form of rebellion. Suddenly, everyone has an opinion about Pamela Anderson going makeup-free. So what if she’s not wearing makeup? It’s fascinating that something so natural is considered bold or daring.

My daughters read through the comments on my social media, and one remark made my older daughter laugh. She said, “Mom, someone tried to compliment you by saying, ‘It’s so refreshing to see her aging naturally without any procedures.’” I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me. When did this happen? [Points at jowls.] Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, Where did that go? Why is it sagging, and what should I do about it? I’m not sure I want to change it, but maybe improve it a little. It’s something we all grapple with.

Self-improvement, in whatever form it takes, is wonderful. I fully support it. But our society’s obsession with youth blinds us to the worth that comes with age, experience, and time. When I look at my daughters—everything about them is firmer, smoother, and more vibrant. I understand the appeal, but I don’t want them to fear reaching my age.

LI: In the book, you describe a moment walking with your daughters, Grier and Rowan, where they’re the ones being noticed. How do you discuss beauty with them?

BS: I don’t hesitate to tell them they’re beautiful because, as their mother, I believe they are! That’s my right. But I always add a qualifier. I explain that beauty varies across people and cultures, and it’s only one aspect of who they are. It’s part of their uniqueness. Society often tries to standardize beauty, labeling and defining it. I was once called the face of a decade—who even decides that? It’s absurd to assign such labels to anyone.

LI: It’s a unique kind of pressure.

BS: Absolutely. When Rowan was a baby, people would immediately say, “Wow, you don’t look like your mom. Why don’t you resemble her more? Your mom was once the most beautiful woman in the world!” So now, you’ve told my daughter she’s not pretty because she doesn’t look like me, and you’ve implied I’m no longer beautiful because I don’t look the way I used to. That’s just messed up on every level.

LI: Your youngest wants to pursue modeling. How do you feel about that?

BS: I resisted it for years because she was too young. But when she turned 18, I said, “Alright, I can’t stop you now—you’re becoming your own person. But here’s the deal: I won’t be your manager. I don’t know the industry today. You want to walk in shows; I never did that. I have experience, history, and opinions, but you need an agent. If your agent disagrees with me and explains why, you’ll have to decide what you believe. And it can’t just be about fame or money. It has to come from a deeper place because this industry isn’t fun. It’s tough and often thankless.” She’s stunning, but there are countless beautiful girls out there.

LI: It’s interesting that you felt she was too young, given that you started modeling at a very young age. And your own mother was famously your manager.

BS: Yes, but my situation was different—I wasn’t driven by desperation. As a child, my earnings from Gimbels were our sole income. My mother refused alimony from my father, maintaining control, for better or worse. So I told Grier, “I won’t stop you, but you need to understand what this career truly entails. You’ll learn how challenging modeling can be.” Her first job was with Bruce Weber in Montauk. I dropped her off, and they dressed her in a tiny Zac Posen gown. When I returned, she said, “Mom, this dress is hurting my ribs.” I replied, “I can’t help you with that.” She added, “They’ve already taken photos.” I told her, “You’re not finished until he says so. Once he does, stay still until his assistant takes the camera. Then run. Otherwise, he’ll keep shooting, and it’ll drag on for another hour.” She complained, “I’m exhausted,” and I said, “Good, stay exhausted!”

LI: That’s some tough love.

BS: I knew I couldn’t be the overprotective or controlling mom my mother was, shielding me from harm. Grier needed to learn to advocate for herself. She’d ask, “Can you call the agent?” and I’d respond, “They don’t want to hear from your mom. They take my calls because of my fame, but they don’t truly care about you as a young model. You need to ask the right questions yourself. If I speak for you, they’ll dismiss you as too much trouble.” Sometimes she seeks my advice, and other times she insists she knows the industry. I just think, “Oh, really? That’s great. I’m glad you do.”

LI: So they all act like that? That’s a relief to hear.

BS: But then I met someone backstage at the Tommy Hilfiger show, and he said, “That was your daughter? Wow, we had no idea! She was tall, stunning, and incredibly polite. She worked hard, stayed composed, and was so kind. Great job, Mom.” It made me think of all the times I drilled manners into her—clearing her dishes, saying please and thank you, thanking hosts for their hospitality.

LI: What are some small ways you show your daughters you love them?

BS: I adore leaving little notes for them, especially in hidden spots. I also make an effort to know their friends and remember their names, which is getting tougher now that they’re in college. But it means a lot to them, so I keep mental notes like, This is the blonde girl whose parents live there. I always ask about their friends and how their families are doing.

LI: Your daughters seem incredibly close, even attending the same college! Do you think there’s something you did to encourage that bond?

BS: Honestly, if you’d seen them the day before they left for college, you’d have thought, This isn’t going to work. My older daughter was eager to go, diving into Greek life and loving every second. My youngest, however, struggled to let go of me. They’ve fought intensely since they were little. I’d walk past a room and hear, “She bit my head!” How does that even happen? Or they’d be walking, and one would suddenly hip-check the other. I’d call them out, and one would always target the other’s insecurities or frustrations, twisting the knife with a smile.

Then, during parents’ weekend, I overheard my younger daughter ask, “Rowan, which night works for me to come over for dinner?” Rowan replied, “Let’s do Wednesday.” I was stunned. I didn’t say anything, but they’re closer now than ever, and I never expected that to happen.

LI: With Valentine’s Day approaching, let’s talk about love. What’s your love language?

BS: That’s a tricky question. It’s evolved over time. I used to think it was all about kissing—I’ve always loved that. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate quieter moments, like riding in a car with my husband without feeling the need to talk. I enjoy just being in his presence without saying a word. Sorry, honey! There’s a comfort in that silence, where you don’t feel pressured to be witty or clever. It’s just about being present.

LI: What’s something about love that you’ve learned in your 50s that your younger self didn’t understand?

BS: It might sound cliché, but it’s crucial to learn to love yourself early on. No one else can do that for you. If you seek validation externally, it leaves you feeling empty. It’s not that you can’t find happiness, but there’s immense freedom in discovering and embracing your unique qualities. It’s a challenging journey, but it’s worth it.

LI: How do you take time to show yourself love?

BS: I enjoy treating myself—whether it’s a quick trip to the nail salon for a 30-minute back massage where I can completely relax, or spending time with people who make me laugh. I always leave those moments feeling more connected to myself or reminded of qualities I appreciate about who I am.

LI: Do you feel like you’ve managed to replace your inner critic with a supportive inner cheerleader?

BS: Well, the inner critic always speaks up first. But I’ve started to find humor in myself, and it’s not just self-deprecating jokes anymore—those can start to feel real after 30 or 40 years, which is dangerous. Now, I walk into rooms with more confidence than I used to. There’s something really empowering about that shift.

LI: You’ve also become a CEO for the first time in your late 50s! Tell us about Commence.

BS: It started as a platform during Covid. I wanted to create a space for women over 40 to share where they are in life, what they love, what they don’t, and how they feel the world perceives them. It grew quickly, and I realized how much people care about beauty. There are unique challenges we face at this stage, especially with hair and scalp health, and how that part of our identity can feel threatened. I never imagined I’d be in the beauty industry, and I’m not diving into skincare yet, but hair care and scalp health became a huge focus for this community.

Every woman I spoke to asked about my hair and eyebrows, and how they’ve evolved over the years. That’s why we developed a plant-based hair care line specifically for women over 40. The results are incredible. From the start, I insisted, “These can’t just be rebranded products with my name on them. They need rigorous testing.” Seeing a strand of hair regain its elasticity because of something we created is incredibly exciting.

LI: In the book, you mention that launching this business in your 20s wouldn’t have been possible because you needed life experiences, not just professional ones. Can you elaborate on why those experiences are so valuable?

BS: Life experiences are the greatest gift because they let you reflect on the journey you’ve taken—not labeling it as “good” or “bad,” but simply as a life lived. To an artist, the dark strokes are as vital as the bright ones because they add depth and dimension. I see my life the same way. What I lack in business knowledge or startup experience, I can learn. Those are skills, but life gives you perspective.

LI: I wanted to ask about the importance of friendship and the love between friends in your life.

BS: I wouldn’t be here today without my friends. Lisa from high school, Diana, who’s been like a sister since we were 4 and 5, Karla, Ali—they’ve all been essential. Friendships come in many forms. This weekend, I’m attending the wedding of my college roommate’s daughter. There will be around 150 people, and I might not know 90 of them. But in that setting, I’m just Mary’s friend and former roommate—no one’s asking for selfies or seeing me as anything else. These friendships are the foundation of my joy and experiences. I’m in a group chat with my high school friends, and we’re always laughing. It’s also crucial to have friends so your partner doesn’t have to carry everything.

LI: Speaking of relationships, you’ve been married for 23 years. What’s beautiful about enduring love? What are the benefits of being together for so long?

BS: We need to rethink “enduring love” because we often focus too much on the romance. I may never feel that initial rush of falling in love again, but there are moments that remind me of it. Over time, love evolves. I admire how my husband treats others, his role as a father, his humor, and the kindness he shows me. I want to grow old with him, but growth is key—and it’s challenging when you don’t grow at the same pace. It can feel unsettling, so communication is vital. I’ve had to say, “I used to find that endearing, but now it hurts me.” Enduring love requires effort because your purpose in the relationship shifts.

LI: The roles in the relationship change over time.

BS: Exactly. I once told my husband, “I have the kids now, so be careful. I don’t need you the way I used to.” It sounds blunt, but it’s true—biology plays a role. If you genuinely like each other, love can manifest in new, comforting ways. A friend once joked, “I’m too cheap to get divorced!” It made me laugh, but it also made me think: Do you really want to start over just because your partner isn’t as youthful? At the same time, staying disconnected isn’t healthy. You have to keep nurturing the relationship and adding to it.

LI: It’s a whole new dynamic once your kids leave the nest.

BS: Absolutely. Kids kind of pull you along without you even realizing it. Then suddenly, they’re gone, and you’re left standing there thinking, What now? You lose that central point of reference in your life.

LI: Our bodies are always renewing cells, and our brains undergo significant changes in middle age. It’s almost like we become entirely new people. Do you feel like a new person at this stage of your life?

BS: I feel more like a new person now than ever before. A big part of that is letting go of the pressure to hit certain milestones by a specific age, like having kids or achieving certain goals. I still set goals, but I’m more grounded in my own life and comfortable in my skin. I spend more time with myself, and I don’t find myself boring. There’s something truly special about this next chapter of life.

LI: Is there a milestone birthday you’re excited about?

BS: My next big one is 60, which is coming up this year. I’m not exactly looking forward to it because I haven’t figured out how I want to celebrate. A big party feels like too much pressure. A college friend of mine celebrated her 60th year in unique ways—traveling, seeing theater, spending time with close friends, and planning her daughter’s wedding. I love the idea of a year-long celebration. It’s about doing what you love, with the people you care about, on your own terms.

LI: That’s such a great idea. And happy 60th to you!

Credits