Buzz
Even if you’re fortunate enough to adore your job, it’s unlikely you want your entire identity tied to your current profession. Careers evolve, but the fundamental skills and traits you possess remain constant, regardless of how you earn your income.
However, many people struggle to identify these qualities within themselves and determine who they truly are beyond their professional roles.
In a recent Fast Company article, Christina Wallace, a senior lecturer at Harvard Business School, revealed the three questions she uses to gain insight into the unique skills and experiences others associate with her, both in and out of the workplace.
Here’s how you can conduct a similar experiment to hers.
Identify individuals to approach
Start by determining who can offer the insights you’re seeking. These should be individuals you trust and whose perspectives you respect, though they don’t necessarily need to be people you’ve known for a long time.
However, it’s important to select people you’ve worked with or connected with in some capacity—whether through a professional project, a volunteer organization, a social group, or a personal friendship.
While Wallace reached out to nearly 100 people and received around 70 responses, you don’t need to aim for such a large number. That said, gathering input from a diverse group of individuals across different aspects of your life will provide richer and more varied insights.
Key Questions to Ask a Friend or Colleague to Gain Insight into Yourself
Once you’ve identified your contacts, decide how and where to pose your questions. Wallace preferred in-person meetings over coffee, but if that’s not possible, a phone or video call is a great alternative. Reserve email or text as a last option, as people often become more formal and less candid in written responses compared to spoken conversations.
Here are the three questions Wallace used with her contacts:
When have you seen me at my happiest?
What do you rely on me for?
In what ways do I excel compared to my peers?
Evaluate the feedback
As Wallace emphasizes, the purpose of this activity is to “view yourself through the eyes of others,” so absorb all the meaningful feedback you gather. While reviewing the answers to her questions, she observed a high level of consistency, regardless of whether the responses came from someone she’d worked with for years or had known only briefly.
She also discovered that her contacts highlighted broader “mindsets, skills, and environments” where she excelled, rather than focusing on specific professional knowledge.
Follow Wallace’s approach by noting the recurring themes in the answers you receive. Ultimately, this exercise should leave you with a clearer sense of your identity, both professionally and personally.
