Buzz
Whether you realize it or not, there are numerous ways to infer someone's financial situation before even going on a date. For instance, you may recall Anne Helen Petersen's viral breakdown of how much we can deduce from a single Tinder photo regarding someone's social and financial standing:
Take a closer look at this image: Yasmin’s teeth are perfectly white and her skin appears flawless. Her shirt, while plain, doesn't come across as 'cheap' from what’s visible. The contrast between the color of her shirt and the house in the background gives off a polished and refined vibe. Her overall appearance suggests a middle-class lifestyle, much like a model you’d see in an edition of
Real Simple.
However, the fact that someone may appear ‘bourgeois’ doesn’t necessarily mean they’re free from financial struggles or that they have savings for the future. It doesn't reveal whether they're good at budgeting or prone to overspending, nor does it indicate if their financial priorities will match yours.
And, according to a recent Bankrate survey, an increasing number of Millennials are eager to uncover that information as soon as possible.
For instance, right on the first date.
Millennials are nearly twice as likely as older generations to feel comfortable sharing credit scores and discussing debt with a potential romantic partner, as revealed in Bankrate's Love and Money Survey.
They are much more open to having money discussions with their partners early on, which marks a clear generational shift,” says Mara Liz Meinhofer, a certified money coach and founder of Love & Money Therapy. “This is a conversation that wasn't common before, and it’s a very positive change for this generation.”
Bankrate reports that 35% of Millennials—and 36% of Gen Z—would be comfortable discussing finances on the first date. But how, exactly, should you bring up the topic?
One expert interviewed by Bankrate suggested bringing up retirement as a way to introduce the topic. (This might be more fitting for Millennial daters, especially the oldest ones nearing 40, than for younger Gen Z daters.) Discovering whether your date has a plan for their retirement, plans to wing it, or plans to retire at all can give you a solid understanding of their approach to finances.
If you'd rather not be so direct, Bankrate provides a few alternative approaches:
Inquiring about where your date bought their clothes could reveal their shopping habits. Asking about their job might give insight into whether they have significant
student debt
. Even discussing their childhood could provide valuable information.
One option Bankrate doesn't recommend is sharing your own financial details first. Rather than subtly trying to figure out if your date is dealing with student loans, for example, you might casually mention your own loan repayment situation. (This might not work as well if you're debt-free, as it could come off as bragging.) Being transparent about your financial strengths and challenges—whether on the first date or later—can help you gauge whether your potential partner is open to discussing theirs.
Have you ever discussed finances on the first date? How did it go? Do you have tips for those wanting to learn if their date shares their financial values? And—perhaps most importantly—have you ever ended a relationship because of financial mismatches?
