Buzz
By justifying your son's inability to secure employment, you inadvertently enable and perpetuate his reliance on you for financial support.
Digital Vision/ThinkstockIn today's world, achieving independence for young adults is taking longer. According to a May 2011 study by the Center for Workforce Development at Rutgers University, young adults are spending more time in college, earning 10 percent less than pre-2009 graduates, and experiencing higher unemployment rates compared to the general population. These factors lead many parents to prolong financial dependency or provide ongoing support to their children.
Every parent desires their child to thrive and achieve success. It's easy to believe that offering continuous support will help them stand on their own. However, when this temporary assistance turns into a permanent dependency, it becomes a significant issue. Below are practical tips and approaches to handle financially dependent adult children.
How to Deal with Mooching Adult Children
Addressing the issue of financially dependent adult children often involves navigating a tangled mix of emotions that affect your relationships. While you (and possibly your adult child) may grapple with feelings of guilt, hope, denial, worry, and disappointment, friends and relatives may feel frustrated that the moocher is exploiting your generosity. Below are steps to manage these emotional challenges and begin curbing the dependency:
- Assess your financial situation. A clear financial boundary can help remove emotional influences from the decision-making process.
- Recognize that offering emotional support and guidance is just as important as providing financial assistance.
- Build a support network. Having allies can strengthen your resolve to end the mooching behavior.
- Reflect on your actions. Are you inadvertently signaling that your child is incapable of self-sufficiency?
You might unknowingly be contributing to the mooching by enabling your adult child's dependency. Continue reading to discover how to break this cycle and stop being an enabler.
Discussing finances with your children promotes financial responsibility, as highlighted by Ameriprise Financial.
Stop Enabling Mooching Adult Children
Effective parenting involves guiding your children to become healthy, self-reliant adults. Addressing a financially dependent adult child requires making tough decisions. Similar to other parenting stages, you'll need to adapt your mindset and actions. Your child won't achieve independence until you stop allowing them to rely on the parental money tree.
Start by identifying behaviors that enable dependency—and put an end to them. Avoid justifying your child's reliance on you. Overprotectiveness and excuses foster dependency; they won't help your child achieve financial independence. Most importantly, practice saying no. Though it may feel difficult, requiring your adult child to cover their own expenses could be the most compassionate action you take—for both them and yourself.
Ready to help Jimmy move off your couch and into independence? Follow the upcoming steps to guide your financially dependent adult child toward self-sufficiency.
According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, the growing trend of adult children living with their parents has led senior citizen advocates to label it as "sons in the basement syndrome."
Help Adult Children Become Self-sufficient
Establish a clear deadline for ending financial support to your adult child and consistently communicate your expectations.
©iStockphoto.com/Brian JacksonFeeling guilty about cutting off financial assistance? Don't. Achieving self-reliance is both rewarding and empowering. Here's how you can guide your adult child toward independence:
- Clearly express your expectation for your child to become self-sufficient. This mutual understanding will motivate both of you to work toward this objective.
- Assist your adult child in creating a budget that aligns with their income, not yours.
- Set specific deadlines. Inform your child that financial support will cease on a predetermined date.
- If your child plans to move back in or is already living with you, establish a limited support period, such as three months. Reinforce this timeline regularly to avoid surprises.
- Assign household responsibilities and tasks while they live with you. This approach helps them save for independence while encouraging them to move out.
Helping a financially dependent child achieve independence requires effort, but the sense of accomplishment is immense when they realize they can manage on their own.
Explore the next page for additional insights and tips on parenting adult children.
