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Photo: Getty ImagesEveryone struggles with bad habits. Whether it’s something irritating like constant complaining, time-wasting like procrastination, or potentially damaging like spreading rumors, there are practical tips and methods anyone can use to eliminate these negative behaviors.
For deeply ingrained or harmful habits, breaking free might take years and even professional therapy. However, it’s entirely possible. Mental health experts emphasize that recognizing the habit is the first step toward change. If you’ve identified a behavior you want to improve, you’re already on the path to better habits—like standing tall instead of slouching, maintaining clean nails instead of biting them, and fostering honest relationships without gossip.
1. The Habit: Chronic Tardiness
Why you might do it: On the positive side, you might be a people-pleaser who overcommits. On the flip side, you could subconsciously believe your time is more valuable than others', which can come off as disrespectful. In either case, you’re likely missing key time-management skills.
How to break it: Instead of agreeing immediately when asked to do something, pause and say you’ll check your schedule. Assess whether you genuinely have the bandwidth. Identify activities that consistently delay you, like morning hair drying. Time these tasks and adjust your routine to accommodate them properly.
Tricks: Set your watch ahead by five minutes and plan for unexpected delays. Always notify others if you’re going to be late—it’s courteous, and the embarrassment of repeatedly calling might motivate you to be on time.
2. The Habit: Procrastination
Why you might do it: It’s a way to cope with the stress of tackling a task. While avoiding it provides short-term relief, it ultimately leads to more stress and regret.
How to break it: Understand that procrastination can make others believe you’re indifferent about the task, which is worse than delivering imperfect results. To kickstart progress, involve a friend for accountability. Write a check to a cause you dislike and give it to a friend. If you fail to complete the task by the deadline, they’ll mail the donation. This consequence-driven approach can push you to finish. If this doesn’t appeal, explore other effective ways to break your procrastination habit.
3. The Habit: Disorganization
Why you might do it: You might process information visually, finding stimulation and reminders in clutter. However, this often leads to wasted time searching for items and increased anxiety, as a messy space can create a chaotic mind.
How to break it: Sort papers into two stacks: one for immediate action and another for future consideration. Use color-coded folders or boxes. Life coach Lynn Cutts shares, "A client uses 12 clipboards in her office—six for active projects and six for potential ones. This keeps her visually engaged while staying organized." Develop a system that suits you, starting with simple habits like always placing your keys in the same spot. For more tips, check out our best organizing tips from the past 20 years.
4. The Habit: Fidgeting
Why you might do it: Excess energy, possibly from caffeine or sugar-induced adrenaline spikes, needs an outlet. Just think about that pen you can’t stop clicking.
How to break it: If you’re a heavy coffee drinker, reduce your intake. Managing energy levels also requires adequate exercise and sleep. Redirect fidgeting into isometric exercises: press your palms together gently or push your feet firmly into the floor. Repeat until the urge to fidget fades.
5. The Habit: Smacking Gum
Why you might do it: It’s an oral fixation that acts as a comfort mechanism during moments of stress or anxiety.
How to break it: A quick fix is to switch to hard candy, though it’s not tooth-friendly. If you prefer to keep chewing gum, ask a friend to alert you every time they hear you smacking. Let the sound remind you how disruptive it can be.
Imagine being someone else forced to listen to and watch you smack your gum. Unpleasant, isn’t it? The embarrassment might be enough to make you quit. Pay attention to when you do it, stop immediately, and over time, your brain will rewire to make not smacking gum the new habit. With consistent effort, you’ll eventually stop altogether.
6. The Habit: Slouching
Why you might do it: Slouching might have started during your teenage years due to self-consciousness, being taller than peers, or early physical development, and the habit persisted. Alternatively, fatigue and stress could be contributing factors.
How to break it: Strengthen your core and upper-back muscles through dance, Pilates, or yoga—these muscles are crucial for good posture. A simple shoulder-shrug exercise, where you lift your shoulders toward your ears, can also help. Perform 10 forward and 10 backward rotations to improve posture awareness. Regular exercise combats the fatigue that often leads to slouching.
7. The Habit: Phone Obsession
Why you might do it: Smartphones are engineered to captivate and hold your attention, putting everyone at a disadvantage. Your phone obsession might stem from a fear of missing out on texts, news, or social media updates, or it could be the allure of endless entertainment and information. This habit can make you forget to engage with the world around you and simply be present.
How to break it: While ditching your phone entirely isn’t practical, you can manage screen time with clear rules. Avoid using your phone during meals, keep it away from your bed, track app usage, and resist checking it impulsively. Disable notifications for distracting apps. Remember how it feels when someone prioritizes their phone over you—don’t make others feel that way.
8. The Habit: Nail Biting
Why you might do it: Nail biting often serves as a coping mechanism to ease stress and anxiety.
How to break it: Identify triggers and replace nail biting with another activity, like squeezing a stress ball. Keep nails trimmed and filed, or use bitter-tasting nail polish to deter biting. Consider wearing gloves or treating yourself to manicures to discourage ruining your nails.
9. The Habit: Whining
Why you might do it: You may lack the confidence to assert your needs or make changes. As a child, whining might have worked to get your way, but that strategy doesn’t hold up in adulthood.
How to break it: Whining won’t yield the same results as it did when you were younger. If someone points out your complaining, take it seriously. Instead of whining, express your needs clearly and politely. For instance, if you’re unhappy with your table at a restaurant, ask the waiter for a different spot. If you can’t or won’t take action, avoid complaining altogether.
10. The Habit: Gossiping
Why you might do it: Gossiping often shifts attention away from your own insecurities by highlighting others’ flaws. It can also provide a temporary sense of satisfaction—venting, bonding, or boosting your self-esteem.
How to break it: Pay close attention to the topics you discuss. Focus on sharing personal experiences, like a recent trip or a new favorite spot. Stay updated on current events, music, or sports to steer conversations away from gossip. If others bring up someone, make it a point to say only positive or neutral things about them.
Remember, you never know who might overhear your conversation. Complaining about a coworker could backfire if her friend is nearby. Gossiping can also damage your reputation, making you appear untrustworthy and potentially costing you friendships or professional connections.
11. The Habit: Perfectionism
Why you might do it: Growing up with perfectionist parents who set high standards may have shaped your mindset. You tie your self-worth to your achievements, yet struggle to complete tasks.
How to break it: Learn to let go of perfection. Intentionally do a mediocre job on low-stakes tasks, like washing dishes or making the bed, to see that the world doesn’t end. Set strict time limits for tasks and use a timer to prevent over-polishing. This will help you break the cycle of endless tweaking.
For a change of pace, try an activity you’re not naturally good at. Enroll in a drawing class even if you lack artistic talent, or play shuffleboard for the first time without keeping score. Embrace the joy of learning without the pressure to excel—it’s refreshing when no one, including yourself, expects perfection.
5 Basic Steps to Breaking Any Bad Habit
If you’re struggling with a habit not listed here, remember you have the power to overcome it. Many of the strategies above can be adapted. Below are five essential steps to tackling unwanted behaviors, inspired by Cherry Pedrick, RN, coauthor of The Habit Change Workbook, which uses cognitive-behavioral techniques.
- Recognize when your habit occurs. Pinpoint situations that trigger it and track how often and where it happens.
- Understand the impact. Weigh the pros and cons of maintaining or changing your habit.
- Find a replacement behavior. Develop a healthier alternative to replace the old habit.
- Set clear goals. Create a plan with both short- and long-term objectives, and reward yourself for progress.
- Accept imperfection. Slip-ups are normal and part of the process—persistence is key to forming new habits.
