Buzz
Motivational posters in offices and schools once declared, 'Failure is not an option.' Over time, the focus shifted from failure to a new fear: regret.
Failure became acceptable, as long as you made an effort to achieve your goals. Without trying, you’re left with regret—a feeling that lingers, even haunting your final moments. (Or so they say.)
In truth, regret is an inevitable part of life. Anyone claiming to have no regrets is likely being dishonest (and should feel remorse for that). While uncomfortable, regret can be a powerful teacher. Here’s how to live with it and grow from it.
Living with Regret: A Practical Guide
Clinical psychologist John Amodeo, PhD argues that striving to live a life free of regret creates an impossible dilemma.
“Thinking we should avoid regret puts us in a double bind,” he explained in a 2018 PsychCentral article. “We feel regret and then question ourselves for feeling it. If we claim to have no regrets, we’re either not paying attention or in denial. Everyone makes mistakes.”
Beyond accepting regret as a natural human emotion, it’s also valuable to see it as an opportunity for growth. Or, as Amodeo phrased it, “turning regret into a gateway for deeper self-awareness, understanding of others, and life itself.”
Turning Regret into a Learning Experience
Start by disregarding motivational posters and #NoRegrets social media trends, and shift your perspective on regret. Rather than viewing it as a failure, consider it a valuable learning experience—particularly an opportunity to enhance your decision-making abilities.
Imagine someone rushing into a business decision without evaluating the potential risks and rewards. While luck might have favored them, in this case, it didn’t, leading to regret over their impulsive choice.
Studies, such as this 2008 research, indicate that such experiences teach valuable lessons. The individual is likely to reflect on their mistake and approach future decisions more thoughtfully. Similarly, if we regret past behavior or how we treated someone, the discomfort of that regret can motivate us to act differently in the future.
