Buzz
Each day starts with the same eager question: “Dad, can we play?” (And yes, I mean “starts” quite literally; this is often shouted by a toddler just inches from my face as I try to sleep.) Though I hate to admit it, my internal response is always a resounding no, even when I say yes. Playing with young kids can feel utterly exhausting. But what if it didn’t have to be? Recently, I discussed the value of mindfulness—being aware of moments of joy. Yet, I can’t recall many joyful moments arising from pretend play with my kids. As an adult juggling countless responsibilities, it’s incredibly hard to quiet my mind and fully engage at their level, especially when it involves building “gifts” from Magna-Tiles and feigning surprise for the 30th time that toy cars are inside.
In a Slate essay, Rebecca Onion explores the evolution of adult/child play expectations, pointing out that only in the last century have families in developed nations had the leisure time for recreation. Before that, “most American children and their parents had household chores to attend to.” Even then, the idea that parents should actively play with their kids is a relatively recent concept, emerging during the post-WWII Baby Boom, Onion explains. The expectation that parents should be “caretaker, educator, and entertainer all at once is not only historically new but also culturally specific,” she adds.
Yes, you likely need to spend some time playing with your kids, especially this summer, with camps closed (the responsible ones, at least) and crowded parks and beaches off-limits. Here’s a tip I stumbled upon after buying a large (and affordable!) set of vibrant air-dry clay: Instead of forcing yourself into your child’s confusing games, find an activity you both enjoy and do it together.
Honestly, that $15 clay has been a fantastic investment, providing endless fun for the entire family—our 3-year-old, 8-year-old, and even the adults. We’ve spent countless hours at the dining table, creating our own masterpieces (or, in the case of the youngest, simply blending every color imaginable). We take turns picking songs on the smart speaker and chatting about the day’s trivialities (often involving a detailed retelling of a TV show plot I’ve never watched). This activity is not only enjoyable for the kids but also surprisingly calming and engaging for us adults. After spending an hour meticulously shaping Super Mario characters in slightly sticky 3D, I feel more relaxed than distracted or stressed. Plus, it’s easy to keep our phones out of sight. While clay has been our go-to, your shared activity doesn’t have to involve it (though I highly recommend it). Your children might enjoy tackling a “grown-up” puzzle, drawing, or even playing catch. The key is choosing something you can genuinely enjoy together. Let the kids dive into their solo imaginative play, and treat yourself to some air-dry clay.
