Buzz
This week, we delve into understanding and maintaining personal boundaries with guidance from Nedra Glover Tawwab, a renowned therapist and relationship expert. Nedra is the author of the New York Times bestseller, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. Tune in to learn her strategies for navigating tough boundary discussions, staying firm in your decisions, and breaking free from codependent dynamics for yourself and those you care about.
Additionally, don’t miss a heartfelt goodbye segment for Alice, who is departing Mytour and The Upgrade this week. She will be deeply missed!
Catch The Upgrade above or on your favorite podcast platforms, such as Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and NPR One.
Key moments from this week’s episode
Insights from the Nedra Glover Tawwab interview:
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty about setting boundaries:
Establishing boundaries isn’t necessarily about disappointing others; it can actually bring you closer. Often, unhealthy boundaries lead to avoidance—ignoring calls or distancing yourself. By setting clear boundaries, you might notice positive shifts in behavior and relationships, fostering deeper connections. It’s not always about creating distance; sometimes, it strengthens the bond.
Why you should avoid setting overly rigid boundaries:
Rigid boundaries often involve strict rules, such as, 'I don’t do this with people,' or 'People can’t do this to me.' While these rules might feel protective, they can also isolate you, keeping others at a distance. It’s healthier to adapt boundaries based on the person or situation. Some individuals may not require the same limits, and flexibility can lead to richer experiences. Being overly rigid might prevent you from exploring new opportunities or discovering aspects of relationships that bring joy and fulfillment.
How to begin identifying your personal boundaries:
Vague resentment is a great starting point for recognizing boundaries. Pay attention to your emotions—anger, frustration, or disappointment. Phrases like 'Why would they do that?' often hint at unmet needs. These feelings signal potential boundaries. Don’t ignore them; instead, explore what you truly desire in those situations. Understanding your preferences helps you establish clearer, more effective boundaries.
For more insights from Nedra, we encourage you to listen to the full episode.
Have feedback or ideas for future episodes? Interested in being featured? Call us at 347-687-8109 or email a voice memo to [email protected].
