Buzz
Have you ever felt frustrated with someone close to you over something that seemed like it 'should' be common sense? You likely have unspoken expectations in your relationship. To improve your connection, it’s time to start communicating those hidden rules.
As highlighted by the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree, many of us tend to get upset when our unspoken rules are broken, even though we’ve never clearly stated them. You might believe it’s obvious not to interrupt others or that failing to split the bill is impolite. However, these assumptions aren’t as universal as you might assume. Without expressing why you’re upset, your relationship will continue to face the same recurring issues:
I understand some of you might be thinking: 'But ____ really should be obvious. They should know that. I shouldn’t have to say it.'
The word 'should' can be quite problematic. It implies that the world must conform to your expectations. Try using 'should' with the weather and see how far that gets you.
What seems clear to you might not be as apparent to others. People often interpret the same situations in vastly different ways. It’s far more effective to communicate your expectations clearly rather than assuming they’re self-evident and labeling the other person as inherently wrong.
The outcome of expressing your feelings and discussing them might lead to an uncomfortable conversation or, at worst, a minor disagreement. However, the repercussions of keeping your unspoken rules hidden are a cycle of confusing arguments and lingering resentment. To prevent these conflicts, start having those necessary conversations.
Photo by PoYang_博仰.
