Buzz
At the beginning of each session, my therapist prompts me with, 'What’s on your mind today?'
Having been with the same therapist for nearly eight years, I’ve established a consistent routine. I approach my therapy appointments with the same dedication as I would a professional commitment, a fitness regimen, or a spiritual practice. To ensure our sessions are as productive as possible, I prepare by journaling beforehand, which helps me outline the key points I want to address during our time together.
Having a clear focus not only optimizes the limited time we have but also helps me track recurring issues and provides a foundation for post-session reflection. I’d like to share my pre-session planning approach, which helps me structure my thoughts and make the most of my therapy time—eliminating those uncomfortable pauses while searching for topics to discuss.
Bare minimum therapy prep
Finding time for therapy can be challenging, let alone preparing for it. I’ve had weeks like that too. Even when I arrive without a plan, my therapist skillfully uncovers meaningful topics to explore. Still, spending just five to 10 minutes before a video session to gather my thoughts ensures we address what’s truly weighing on me.
Question one: What’s the biggest issue on my mind right now?
This question helps me avoid two common therapy pitfalls: discussing topics I feel obligated to bring up or revisiting issues from the previous session that may no longer be relevant. I prefer to begin with whatever is currently dominating my thoughts, whether it’s a situation, emotion, or problem. Even if it seems minor, it often opens the door to broader discussions that connect to past therapeutic work.
The deeper questions to ask yourself
While maintaining a therapy journal isn’t for everyone, it’s a crucial tool for me. At its most basic, my journal includes an answer to the key question, session notes, and follow-up tasks or reflections.
When I have more time and space, my therapy journal becomes a detailed record of daily reflections, helping me process issues independently or gain clarity on what to discuss in my next session. Here are some prompts I use for weekly or daily journaling:
Question two: What emotions am I feeling?
This question may appear straightforward, but pinpointing my emotions isn’t always easy. I often respond to 'How are you doing?' with a vague 'OK,' relying on tone to convey the nuances.
If you also struggle to find the right words for your emotions, keep a feelings wheel accessible (I store mine in my notes app). Identifying your feelings before therapy equips you with the language to initiate conversations with your therapist, rather than leaving them to decode your ambiguous 'OK.' Tracking your emotions throughout the week can also reveal patterns and improve your ability to recognize and articulate them.
Question three: Is there anything left hanging from my last session?
There are moments in therapy when you’re deeply engaged, the session ends abruptly, and you wish to continue exploring that thread. Alternatively, something related might have occurred, and you want to update your therapist. I often jot down in my journal any topics I want to revisit in the next session.
Question four: How have I coped this week and what worked?
This question is particularly insightful during tough times. If I’ve navigated a chaotic week using methods that ultimately left me feeling worse, discussing it in therapy helps us brainstorm better strategies. Conversely, if I’ve managed difficult days with effective coping mechanisms, this reflection reinforces my go-to activities for improving my mood.
Question five: Is there anything I’m reluctant to bring up in therapy?
This question is somewhat strategic but serves an important purpose. It helps uncover your most sensitive topics and encourages you to decide whether to maintain boundaries or begin discussing them with your therapist. Avoidance can hinder progress, so confronting these reluctant topics can lead to significant breakthroughs.
I view this prompt as a personal challenge. If there’s something I’m hesitant to discuss, it’s a clear signal that it needs attention. I feel secure doing this because of the strong, trusting relationship I’ve built with my therapist. However, setting boundaries around difficult topics is also a perfectly valid approach.
Tailor your therapy prep to your needs and bandwidth
Preparing for therapy through self-reflection can be as simple or detailed as you prefer. I enjoy journaling about these questions a few times a week and spending a few minutes before each session identifying my priorities. Alternatively, you could spend just five minutes answering the first question on this list.
Even with a minimal approach, I recommend maintaining a therapy journal to document your responses and track progress over time. While there will be weeks when preparation feels impossible, consistently arriving without a plan can mean missing opportunities for deeper therapeutic work.
