Buzz
Texting is generally an effortless and efficient way to stay in touch. Yet, it can become overwhelming when I find myself trapped in a group chat inundated with irrelevant messages that I couldn’t care less about; during those times, the ability to mute such an exhausting thread feels like a blessing. However, there's another aspect of texting that’s entirely out of my control, and it certainly deserves some criticism: the inability of some texters to resist responding with likes, haha’s, or some other emoji reaction to each and every text I send. Chances are, you have a few of these overly eager texters among your friends or family—people who think nothing of replying to even the most mundane messages with cryptic thumbs-ups, hearts, or exclamation points, despite the fact that these messages would actually benefit from a response that contains—GASP—actual words.
You might think my complaints are trivial, but the tapback feature—which enables texters to react with simple, wordless responses such as question marks, hearts, and thumbs up or down—has been grossly overused, making texting feel even more detached. Discourse Blog recently proposed that it’s time for people to reach an agreement on the proper use of the thumbs-up emoji in texting, but I would urge a more forceful approach: use tapbacks sparingly and strategically, and incorporate actual words much more often.
Sometimes, even the simplest texts can make a huge impact.
Reacting to a text with a heart tapback doesn't substitute for a genuine thank you. In fact, sending someone a heart emoji is no match for a real 'thank you'—especially when it’s followed by an exclamation point. (I don’t make the rules; these are simply the unspoken subtleties of texting that can easily confuse even the most level-headed among us.)
If I wish you a happy birthday via text, reacting with just a heart emoji doesn’t communicate that you appreciate the gesture. To me, your reaction feels like a nonverbal sigh, suggesting that your phone is overflowing with well-wishes, leaving you unable to muster a proper 'thanks!' amidst the flood of tributes.
The same principle applies to many other kinds of messages. Why would you respond to my 'what are you up to tonight?' with just a thumbs-up or an exclamation point? Have we lost the ability to respond thoughtfully due to the constant barrage of screens and digital notifications demanding our attention? If you're tapping back to something as simple as 'do you have plans tonight?' the answer is likely yes.
A text message—while often lacking the tangible emotion and nuance of other forms of communication—is meant to be a conversation. Tapbacks, especially in a text exchange between two people, don’t contribute to the conversation at all. Instead, they act like a bear trap, halting the discussion in its tracks.
When someone shares a joke or sends a well-wish, I think it’s perfectly fine to respond with a tapback, if it’s accompanied by some other kind of textual acknowledgment. I often add an 'lol' or 'nice one' to show that I’ve actually read the message and haven’t disappeared into a void while glancing at my phone.
When Tapbacks Are Used Well
Don’t get me wrong: when we look at tapbacks from a purely functional standpoint, they can be quite handy when used in moderation. Is someone reminding you to lock the back door before leaving the house? A thumbs up is perfect—it shows you’ve gotten the message and understand the importance of avoiding a burglary. Are you in a group chat where someone’s jokes are filling up the thread? A simple ‘haha’ reaction is all that’s needed—no need to overpower the comedian or add to the noise.
A tapback is also a great way to signal a full stop. Are you trying to bring a conversation to a close? Just slap a thumbs-up on the last message, indicating that the message has been received and the discussion is over.
However, it’s crucial that we don’t misuse the power of the tapback. While it certainly has its undeniable benefits, whether it’s appropriate depends heavily on the context. So if I text you ‘hey, what’s up?’ please, for the love of everything decent, don’t just reply with a thumbs up. Send me some actual text. It’s right there in the name.
