Buzz
Anyone who has successfully lost weight has likely faced a similar set of challenges. But let's face it: long-term weight loss is relatively rare, making many of these obstacles unfamiliar. So when they occur, you might feel like you're failing. But in reality, you're not, and here's why.
#1: It's More Comparable to Picking Up a New Language Than Preparing for a Marathon
If you're carrying extra weight, it's common to feel some guilt about it. You might think you've been lazy, indulgent, or lacked self-discipline. However, this isn't the case. Many people try to suppress their guilt with extreme measures and quick fixes like juice cleanses, teatoxes, and hours of cardio daily. The aim of getting fit then turns into self-punishment, rather than a step towards better health. On the other hand, those who've successfully lost weight and maintained it (i.e., no one from The Biggest Loser) understand that lasting weight loss doesn’t look like this. Extreme diets and excessive exercise are a surefire path to failure. They know that true weight loss success is more like immersing yourself in a new language while living abroad.
When you're living in a foreign country and learning a new language for the first time, it's tempting to fall back on your native language. Of course, that's not going to help you connect with anyone. Instead, you awkwardly stumble through the foreign words to get your message across.
At first, it can be challenging, but with time, you improve. You begin to master the correct pronunciation and everything starts to feel automatic. It might become so intuitive that you struggle to teach the language to beginners, since you're no longer aware of the mental steps your brain takes to translate.
Weight loss is the same—you have to learn the language of calories and macronutrients. Initially, you’ll need to translate that skim latte into numbers, relying on a translator (like a calorie tracking app) to help, and then fitting things into your daily nutritional targets. It's a bit like constantly referring to a foreign dictionary, tedious at first. But if you stick with it, it becomes second nature.
This is the journey to weight loss success: learning fitness just like any other skill. Jumping straight into intense training, like preparing for a marathon, won’t help. Nor will copying the habits of someone like Rocky Balboa or someone already in great shape. They're examples of survival bias, and their routines likely won’t work for you.
#2: Be Prepared for Many Major Setbacks
You've likely seen the image above before. It applies to all challenges in life, including weight loss. In fact, even if you do everything perfectly, weight loss shouldn’t be linear, due to the way our bodies function.
Perfection is irrelevant here because nobody achieves it. On your journey, not only will you make mistakes, but you'll also encounter tough, demoralizing setbacks. You might injure yourself or face a heart-wrenching emotional experience. Whatever you've been through, those emotional struggles become even harder when you look at the scale and see how your progress has been undone.
Here's the thing: in terms of fitness, these challenges are often not as catastrophic as you imagine. Overeating might lead to some weight gain, but it's unlikely that all of it is fat—the body has a tendency to hold onto water in unpredictable ways.
When you go through this, remind yourself: "I'm okay. This is part of the process. I just need to keep moving forward." Major setbacks are a natural part of every big transformation I've seen. I spoke with a former client of mine, Jeremiah Bright, who lost over 100 pounds, and asked him about his journey:
Achieving weight loss in a healthy and sustainable manner involves taking breaks and dealing with setbacks. I come from a large, extended Italian family, and my weekends are often filled with family gatherings and, of course, lots of food. I'd frequently make great progress, only to have it undone by the end of the holiday season. This also happened during vacations and cruises (often like floating buffets).
Some things are within your control, and some things aren't. And among the things you can control, some are easier than others. For example, injuries might be something you can manage, but I once pushed myself too hard with a deadlift when I wasn't feeling great or properly positioned, and ended up straining my back, forcing me out of the gym for weeks. I've also had periods where the scale didn't budge… or moments when I looked back at my weight six months ago, and it was exactly the same.
But I quickly understood this was all part of the process, kept pushing on, and am now down 140 lbs.
Every setback is not only a learning opportunity, but also a self-fulfilling prophecy: whether or not you think your progress is ruined, you are right. So stay optimistic, realize it's not ruined, and get back on that damn horse.
#3: Other People Will Annoy the S#!t Out of You
There are some of the remarks that every single person will hear during their transformation. From unsolicited remarks on your dietary choices, to snide comments about how you've changed, they're an inescapable obstacle in the weight loss rite of passage.
"Why can't you just enjoy life? You should just be happy with who you are."
"Why do you eat so much chicken? Should I be eating this much chicken?"
"I don’t think your body type was ‘meant’ to be slim."
So how do you handle those people who seem overly concerned about your choices? The first step is to categorize them into two groups.
The first group is made up of people who are truly curious. Sure, their comments might sound casual or even a bit rude, but they likely don’t mean any harm. Keep in mind that weight loss is a deeply personal journey, and it’s easy to feel sensitive when others question your decisions. For instance, when someone inquires about your workout routine and then compares it to their CrossFit WOD (because if they do CrossFit, you’ll hear about it, guaranteed), they may just be trying to connect over your shared passion for fitness.
Then, there are those who are actively trying to derail your progress. Personal change of any kind challenges the status quo, and that can trigger resistance from others—whether they realize it or not. This applies to weight loss as well.
Understanding the reason behind this can significantly help you reframe and empathize with those who try to sabotage you. For example, consider this situation: your spouse says:
I don’t understand why you're doing this to yourself. It feels like you're unhappy, and you want to become a completely different person from the one I fell in love with.
Here's a potential deeper meaning behind that:
I'm afraid that if you lose weight, you’ll stop loving me because I’m still overweight. I love you, and I don’t want you to leave me after you achieve your success.
Empathy can break down what once seemed like an impenetrable emotional barrier, allowing you to navigate through it. If that’s not enough, Greatist offers a fantastic list of responses for when others try to undermine your health goals.
#4: The Journey is Endless
The term "going on a diet" can be misleading. It suggests a journey with a clear starting point and a definite ending. In truth, the process is ongoing, with no real conclusion.
This realization came from a deeply personal and challenging experience. My initial fitness "transformation" was driven solely by willpower. My strict regimen consisted of precisely timed meals, which mainly included chicken and broccoli, along with an hour of daily cardio. I followed this routine for four months, lost 45 pounds, and even placed in a bodybuilding competition. I thought I'd finally conquered dieting... but that’s when things started to fall apart.
As many competitors do, I celebrated with a (perhaps overly indulgent) meal. The following morning, I woke up 20 pounds heavier. Though I understood it was likely water weight, the intense guilt set off a damaging cycle: I would comfort myself with more food, feel even worse, eat even more, and the cycle would repeat. Within just two months, I had regained all 45 pounds (and then some), bringing me back to square one.
This is a cautionary tale, as it's common for those who view dieting as something with an "end" to fall into this trap. In fact, most people who lose weight end up returning to their pre-diet weight within three years.
If you depend on willpower alone, without mastering the 'language' of fitness, you may reach an 'end'—but it won’t be fulfilling or long-lasting. What you do should be sustainable and should always pass the question: 'Could I keep living this way forever?'
The truth is, once you succeed, there is no real end. Fitness will remain an ongoing part of your life—a life where it’s as essential as eating, sleeping, and intimacy. But you’ll never regret any moment of your journey, as it leads to a much richer existence.
Images by Gor Grigoryan, pking4th, anthonycz, Oakview Studios, Peter Mooney, William Franklin, and Alyssa Miller.
