Guiding Your Grown Child Toward a Successful Career

You spent hours flipping through baby name books to choose a name that would exude strength and competence on a future resume. You captured every milestone, from first steps to preschool graduations and high school performances. You sacrificed and saved, even refinancing your home, to fund four years (and then an extra year—and just one more semester, I promise) of college. Finally, graduation day came, offering your adult child the opportunity to start a new journey and carve out a fresh path—a path that somehow led straight back to your doorstep.

If you're living under the same roof as your children long after they've turned 18 (or 21, or even 26)—and not in a "Hey, Mom, let us take care of you now" scenario—take comfort in knowing you're not alone. According to Philadelphia-based consulting firm Twentysomething, Inc., 85 percent of recent college graduates are expected to move back in with their parents in 2011. This trend, significant enough to earn its own label, is known as the "boomerang effect."

In early summer 2011, national unemployment rates remained steady between 9 and 10 percent. Despite their youthful energy and expensive educations, college graduates were equally affected. A Rutgers University study from April 2011 revealed that only 53 percent of graduates from four-year colleges between 2006 and 2010 secured full-time jobs. Additionally, nearly half of the surveyed graduates were underemployed, working in roles that didn’t require a bachelor’s degree.

If your lifelong goal isn’t to financially support your children into their retirement years—or if their goal isn’t to master asking, "Would you like fries with that?"—how can you guide your adult children toward a meaningful career?

Ideally, you’d be reading this long before your child’s college graduation, perhaps even during your third trimester of pregnancy. But if you’re among the many parents of 20-somethings caught off guard by this parenting hurdle, don’t despair—there’s still hope.

Read on quickly—before they take over the computer to check Facebook—or, as they might claim, to search job boards again.

Put the Campus Career Center to Work

Recent graduates are often eligible to access free career services offered by their alma mater. Tech-savvy parents might consider discreetly setting their child’s browser homepage to the college’s career services page—or simply ask if they’ve explored it lately. These centers typically provide services like resume reviews, interview coaching, skills assessments, job fairs, and networking opportunities, making any subtle encouragement worthwhile.

For students still in college, campus career centers are invaluable for securing crucial summer internships. Don’t wait until senior year: "The Wall Street Journal" notes that many colleges now urge students to pursue internships as early as their freshman summer. Even if your child changes majors multiple times (not that we’re speaking from experience), internships offer practical work experience and help clarify career preferences.

Call in Some Favors, Then Call in the Pros

Even after graduation, there are ways to assist your adult child. (We might need a better term for this trend—how about "chadult"?) Start by reviewing your personal and professional networks for contacts who could offer introductions, advice, or help circulate your child’s resume.

While you may want to share your own tips on resumes and interviews, consider hiring a professional instead. An objective expert, like a resume writer, career counselor, or job coach, can provide up-to-date guidance on job search trends and resume standards, which may have evolved since your last job hunt. If the university career center doesn’t offer these services, view this as a valuable investment in your child’s future—or a thoughtful graduation gift.

Look Beyond the Paycheck

If feasible, encourage your child to pursue an unpaid or low-paying internship in their desired field while living at home. Even volunteer work can build valuable skills and connections. We understand financial pressures may push your child toward any paying job, but consider whether a part-time role on evenings or weekends could cover expenses while they gain experience for a future career they’re passionate about.

What if your child feels disheartened by the job search, or it seems you’re more invested in their employment than they are? Keep reading for more insights.

What Not to Do

If you’re overwhelmed by the financial burden of supporting your boomerang child or frustrated by their part-time job barely covering their weekend getaways, it’s time to address their freeloading habits. To maintain household harmony and encourage career motivation, treat your adult child as a contributing family member, not a privileged guest.

Before your child returns home after graduation—ideally before arriving with a puppy or a new partner—set clear rules and conditions for their stay. Define a timeframe, such as six months, and stick to it. If they’re unable to move out by the deadline despite their efforts, renegotiate terms, treating it like a lease or temporary agreement in the real world.

Remember, you’re still the parent. Coddling your children or trying to be their best friend won’t help them grow. At the same time, acknowledge that your child, despite occasional frustration or irresponsibility, is now an adult.

Take a Step Back

If your 24-year-old artist has no interest in becoming an accountant, there’s little you can—or should—do to change their mind. For some, lower-paying jobs like waiting tables or retail work offer flexible hours and mental freedom to pursue creative passions. Just ensure they understand the value of benefits like health insurance and retirement plans, and encourage them to find employers offering such perks.

Much has changed since your last job search, so avoid being the overbearing parent with all the answers, no matter how well-meaning. And, of course, let your child handle interviews and follow-ups. Resist the urge to tag along for support or call employers—unlike the helicopter parents who do so for their boomerang kids.

You’ve raised your children to make good decisions; now trust them to do so while you step back and appreciate the results of your efforts. Striking the right balance between involvement and independence in their career journey is challenging, but striving for it makes you a better parent.