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While many people are aware of the more dramatic form of narcissism—where an individual believes the world revolves around them and expects to be treated as such—the reality is far more complex. In fact, narcissism exists in various forms, including one known as 'covert narcissism.' Let’s dive into what it is and how to identify its signs.
What does covert narcissism mean?
Unlike the overt form, covert narcissism—also referred to as 'vulnerable narcissism'—is more difficult to recognize. This is because covert narcissists conceal their feelings of superiority and their deep need for attention.
“Covert narcissists are individuals who manage to stay unnoticed,” says Susan Albers, PsyD, a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. “Even if you’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone, their covert narcissism might be so subtle that it can take a long time for you to recognize it.”
Here are some signs that could indicate you have a covert narcissist in your life.
Recognizing covert narcissism
Remember, unless you’re a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, you are not qualified to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder—or any other condition. That being said, here are several traits commonly found in covert narcissists, according to Albers:
Lack of empathy.
Excessive need for admiration.
Refusal to acknowledge they’ve done anything wrong.
Feeling misunderstood by others.
A strong sense of entitlement.
Engaging only in superficial relationships.
Exploiting others for personal gain.
Resistance to change.
Obsessively focused on fantasies of grandeur.
Managing interactions with a covert narcissist can be tough. If you suspect someone in your life exhibits covert narcissism, and their behavior is proving difficult to navigate, here are some strategies to consider.
Should you find that a person in your life shows signs of covert narcissism and you’re struggling to cope, here are some helpful approaches offered by Albers to assist you in dealing with such behavior:
Set firm boundaries to protect yourself.
Step back when you feel emotionally overwhelmed by their influence.
Assert yourself and make your voice heard.
Consider working with a therapist to gain effective strategies for managing the relationship.
If you suspect you might be dealing with covert narcissistic tendencies within yourself, it's time to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance.
