Buzz
Dear Mytour, I find it difficult to decline invitations to social events and other opportunities because I fear missing something crucial or being left out. I can't resist checking my phone and social media, always wondering if something exciting is happening. How can I break free from this constant worry?
Yours truly, FOMO Stricken
Signs of Fear of Missing Out
Technology easily convinces us that we need to stay connected to our news feeds and social networks to avoid missing out on the endless updates or discussions (as xkcd humorously points out). It's tempting to become hooked on technology, especially when a simple tweet or a like gives us instant satisfaction.
This fear goes beyond the digital realm and has always been present. (Do you remember when other kids were allowed to do things your parents didn’t permit you to?) As we grow older, we might second-guess our decisions, wondering: Maybe I should’ve pursued graduate school like my sister, or perhaps the colleague who left to become a stay-at-home dad is more content than I am. Simply put, FOMO is a mix of envy and insecurity, which can lead to anxiety and hesitation. The more we fear missing out, the more we actually miss out.
Seth Godin encapsulates its effect on us:
The blend of reverse schadenfreude from FOMO (the discomfort we feel from seeing others succeed) and the endless yet elusive desire for everything to be perfect makes us distracted, dissatisfied, and, most importantly, elsewhere.
This insight reveals the three things we can do to confront the fear: acknowledge FOMO for what it is, reduce distractions, and begin to savor the present moment and the choices we’ve made.
Embrace the Reality that Things Are Happening Without You
Somewhere, someone is likely having more fun or experiencing more happiness than you, and that’s perfectly fine. As GQ puts it:
The first step in the Center’s #FOMO program is simple: acceptance. Repeat after us: “I fear I’m not always doing the most exciting thing at every single moment.” Doesn’t that feel better? Doesn’t it feel good to realize you don’t have to always be at the center of the conversation?
Once again, from GQ:
Cut the Distractions
We’re already supporters of reducing information overload, especially when that information only adds to your anxiety, as FOMO tends to do. To ease the pressure of constantly checking in on what’s happening, make it harder for distractions to reach you:
Disable all notifications, except the ones that require immediate action. Gmail users on Android can tailor email notifications by label.
Limit your visits to time-consuming and FOMO-triggering websites. Try the Chrome extension StayFocused or LeechBlock for Firefox.
Mute your phone while driving. Seriously.
Maybe even give a social media detox a shot for just 30 days. It might transform your life.
Savor the Moment
The biggest issue with Fear of Missing Out is that it prevents you from being fully present. So, the key step is often a shift in mindset—embracing mindfulness to appreciate the present. Practicing meditation can not only improve your cognitive abilities but also boost your happiness, as can keeping a gratitude journal.
Another approach is to create a list of your life’s priorities, such as continuing to learn, spending quality time with family, nurturing hobbies, and more. When you feel the urge to check your social feeds or an invitation to something you “should” go to, refer to that list and ask yourself if that’s the best use of your time. After all, time is like money in that we must budget it carefully.
Hopefully, the strategies mentioned above will help you feel calmer and more in control. As Anil Dash remarked here:
I refuse to let an app on my phone dictate what affects me, what I feel pressured by, or what attachments I form to transient experiences. More and more, I believe people will regain control over how they feel about their social interactions, and that’s a wonderful thing.
With love, Mytour
Photo by CREATISTA.
