Buzz
Dear Mytour, My relatives constantly reach out to me for technical help, especially when I’m swamped, and save the major issues for when I visit. I’m exhausted from repeatedly solving the same problems. It seems they never learn. What steps can I take?
Sincerely, Reluctant Tech Helper
Dear RTH,
There are several strategies you can employ, focusing on teaching, practice, and a bit of tough love. By combining these approaches, you can gradually reduce your family’s dependence on you. While you’ll still need to assist occasionally—just as they likely help you with non-tech matters—you can turn these moments into opportunities for growth. I followed this method with my own family, and I’m pleased to share they’ve become far more independent. Here’s how you can achieve the same results.
Teach Instead of Doing
Whenever a family member requests your assistance, agree to help only if they’re willing to learn. Demonstrate how to fix the issue and let them handle the implementation. As the saying goes, "Give a person a fish, and they eat for a day. Teach them to fish, and they eat for a lifetime." Your goal is to empower your family to solve their own tech problems.
This approach can be challenging, particularly in the beginning. Many family members may resist learning technical skills, especially if they’ve relied on you for so long. Some might even avoid learning altogether, viewing technology as a necessary evil. Stay firm and patient. Expect initial frustration and be prepared to explain concepts slowly and clearly. Over time, they’ll grasp the skills and retain them—but only if you remain supportive and encouraging. Let go of past frustrations and focus on helping them understand.
Ensure they handle every step themselves. Simply demonstrating a task, like burning a DVD, won’t suffice. Guide them through the process while letting them perform the actions. Hands-on experience will help them retain the knowledge more effectively.
Encourage Them to Practice Fundamental Skills
When you’re with your family and able to assist them on the computer, schedule short practice sessions. Each session only needs to last 15-30 minutes, and they don’t have to be frequent. Focus on essential skills like copying and pasting, emailing photos, or updating software. Demonstrate these tasks, observe them practicing, and address any questions they have. Encourage them to repeat the steps multiple times to build familiarity. They may resist, but repetition will help them retain the knowledge.
When you’re not physically present, use screencasting software to create instructional videos for specific skills. You can then monitor their progress remotely using tools like VNC or LogMeIn. Schedule these sessions weekly or biweekly, and they’ll quickly grasp the basics. If creating videos is time-consuming, leverage resources like our Emailable Tech Support posts, which include beginner-friendly guides and videos. This way, you can focus on guiding them through practice without creating lessons from scratch.
Set Boundaries
There will be times when you’re too busy to help, and that’s when a bit of tough love is necessary. It’s okay to decline their requests, as they need to understand you won’t always be available. If you have a moment, guide them toward finding solutions independently. Suggest specific Google search terms or share links to helpful resources. Often, people feel overwhelmed because they don’t know where to begin. By providing a starting point, you give them the tools to tackle problems on their own. While it may still be challenging for them, this approach fosters independence and saves you time in the long run.
Initially, this process requires significant effort on your part. You’ll need to invest time and energy into teaching your family essential skills. However, the payoff is substantial—they’ll become more self-reliant, and you’ll save time in the future. With patience and understanding, you’ll only receive tech support requests for truly complex issues.
Best Regards, Mytour
Title image adapted from an original by Zach Klein.
