How to Be the Kind of House Guest That Guarantees You'll Be Invited Again and Again

1. Clearly Communicate the Duration of Your Stay

Be sure to confirm the length of your stay with your hosts well in advance—after they extend the invitation, of course. Avoid being vague or hoping to extend your visit once you've arrived. While they may offer to let you stay longer, don’t take it for granted. If your best friend mentions being busy after Labor Day, book your return flight to leave a day earlier, giving them some personal time. You don't want to overstay your welcome or take advantage of their hospitality.

2. Never Arrive Without Prior Notice

Showing up without prior notice is never a good idea—especially when you bring along an unexpected pet, child, partner, or even a friend (even if you both know them). Unless you've confirmed with your host first, it can be seen as intrusive. What you consider spontaneous and fun may feel like an inconvenience to your cousin and their spouse.

3. Bring a Meaningful Gift

A thoughtful guest always brings a gift for their host to express appreciation. No need for anything extravagant or large—a small, considerate gesture is perfect. Whether it’s a local delicacy from your hometown bakery, a beautifully designed coffee table book, a bouquet of flowers, a lovely candle, or a bottle of wine, all make great gifts. Visiting someone’s vacation home? Choose something thematic, like beach towels or a cocktail-inspired present.

4. Adhere to House Rules

When you arrive, kindly ask about the house norms to prevent any awkward situations. What time do people typically wake up and go to bed? Are there any special considerations regarding the kids or pets? Should you adjust the thermostat? Observe and follow your host's house rules—this may include removing your shoes indoors or keeping your phone out of sight during meals. Additionally, avoid finishing off shared supplies like coffee or milk, but if you do, be sure to replace them.

5. Limit Your Phone Usage

Spending excessive time looking at a screen may give your hosts the impression that you’re uninterested (and honestly, you might be making them feel the same way). It can signal that you’d rather be somewhere else or with someone else. To avoid this, minimize your screen time and only check your emails, messages, or social media in the privacy of your own room.

6. Maintain More Formal Behavior Than Usual

Before you stroll down the hallway wrapped in just a towel, use profanity, crack inappropriate jokes, or come to breakfast in your pajamas, pay attention to your host's behavior. If you're unsure, always choose the more modest option. If you're heading out to dinner with your hosts, inquire about the dress code for the restaurant (e.g., no jeans) so you can pack appropriately.

7. Be Incredibly Helpful

Unhelpful guests rarely get invited back. Here are some things you should offer to do: assist with meal prep or cooking, set the table, do the dishes, offer to drive, entertain the kids while their parents get some much-needed rest, fix something around the house if you're able, or take the dog for a walk. Even if your offer is declined, your hosts will appreciate the thoughtfulness.

Here are things you should do without needing approval: clear your own dishes when you're finished eating, buy some groceries or even ingredients for cocktails, take your kids out of the house for a little while, fill the gas tank if you borrow the car, and strip the sheets at the end of your visit (unless told otherwise).

8. Be (At Least Somewhat) Independent

Your hosts might enjoy seeing a Broadway show or visiting the Lincoln Memorial for the third time, but they could also prefer to catch up on tasks while you're out exploring. Your friend might actually have work during the day, so being able to entertain yourself will be a blessing for both of you. If you're staying for more than a few days, consider reaching out to other friends in the area, bringing some work with you, or exploring on your own. Let your host know your plans and when you expect to return.

9. Bring Your Own Toiletries

Don’t expect to use your host’s toiletries or personal items. If you realize you’ve forgotten something like toothpaste, ask where you can buy a replacement. Your hosts will likely offer theirs, but make sure to show that you’re not just freeloading.

10. Come with Your Own Ideas

Hosting can be a lot of work—from prepping the house to ensuring that everyone is comfortable throughout their stay. Guests often expect hosts to arrange activities too. One way to ease this burden on your gracious hosts is by showing up with a list of ideas for things you'd like to do or see, or even suggesting places to eat. This way, they won't feel solely responsible for keeping you entertained during your visit.

11. Replenish the Groceries You Used

A thoughtful host will ensure you're well-stocked with food and drink during your visit. Before you head home, consider replenishing some of the items you’ve used and help restock your host’s kitchen. For instance, if you’ve been using their honey or milk for your daily tea or coffee, replacing them along with other used goods like tea or coffee would be a thoughtful and appreciated gesture, even if they told you to feel free to help yourself.

12. Leave the Place Cleaner Than You Found It

If there's one piece of advice to remember from these tips, it's this: Leave the space as spotless as possible. The last thing you want is for your host to need to hire a cleaner after your departure.

On your final day, do a thorough check of the bedroom and bathroom for any forgotten items. Strip the bed linens and tuck them in a pillowcase at the foot of the bed. Give the bathroom counters a quick wipe-down to remove toothpaste, extra cups, or stray hair. And, of course, return any borrowed items to their rightful place, such as a book from the shelf.

13. Express Your Gratitude

Show your appreciation to your host three times: once when you arrive, again just before you leave, and finally with a personalized thank-you note after your departure. An email won't quite do the trick here. Be sure to mention a specific detail about an activity you enjoyed, a story that made you laugh, or a meal you thought was delicious. End with an invitation to host them in the future. For a more thoughtful gesture, consider leaving a fresh bouquet of flowers with your note on the kitchen counter before you leave, or alternatively, mail the card within two to three days of your visit.