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Finding the right therapist isn’t always easy. For starters, therapy can be extremely expensive depending on your insurance. There are also scheduling issues—it's tough to find availability if you’re working a 9-to-5 job—location limits, time constraints, and on top of that, figuring out whether the person you're confiding in is truly the right fit for helping you navigate your challenges.
With so many different therapy options, it can feel overwhelming trying to choose the right approach, especially when you’re not sure which one will work for you. Plus, there are numerous types of mental health professionals, each with different credentials and training. Navigating all of this can be tricky, particularly for first-time clients. Here are a few suggestions for picking the right support.
What type of therapy do I need?
There’s a vast array of therapies out there, and mental health professionals don’t always follow a one-size-fits-all model. For example, if you’re struggling with generalized anxiety disorder or depression, your therapist might combine different techniques during your sessions. Let’s explore some of the most commonly used options:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a widely used method that helps individuals examine specific behavioral patterns and develop strategies to overcome them. As Ryan Howes, PhD., a clinical psychologist from Pasadena, California, explains, ‘CBT helps you change your behavior by altering your perception of your situation.’ For example, if you feel anxious about talking to your boss or find that anxiety paralyzes you from taking any action, CBT can help you reframe that mindset. Rather than dwelling on negative possibilities, it encourages you to visualize positive outcomes instead,”
Typically, CBT is a brief intervention, with the therapist helping you set clear, specific objectives. The therapist will then assist you in managing your emotions and building personal coping mechanisms. It has proven particularly effective in treating anxiety and depression.
Psychodynamic Therapies:
Psychodynamic approaches, such as psychoanalysis and Jungian therapy, involve exploring your past to uncover the root causes of the issues you wish to address. For example, if you experience anxiety about speaking with your boss, a psychodynamic therapist will look into when this anxiety first emerged and how past experiences and early relationships have shaped this response. ‘The goal is to reveal these foundational thoughts, which will allow you to act more freely in the present,’ says Howes.
Psychoanalysis can be a lengthy process, often taking years. Many therapists will combine it with a CBT approach, and this is something you may want to mention during a consultation.
Therapies Tailored to Specific Disorders:
While both CBT and psychodynamic therapies, or a blend of both, can address a wide range of mental health concerns, if you are dealing with a specific issue, such as an eating disorder or post-traumatic stress, it may be beneficial to seek out a professional who specializes in treating that condition. For example, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is available for those who have experienced trauma, while grief therapy is helpful for individuals coping with the loss of a loved one.
One thing to keep in mind when considering therapy is that you might believe CBT is the ideal solution, or that you only want in-depth psychoanalysis, or that a single specific treatment will be the key. In reality, therapists often use a combination of different approaches to address a patient’s needs. Even if you start seeing a therapist who specializes in a particular disorder, you may find that it’s not only anxiety or grief that’s contributing to your struggles.
‘Nobody walks in the door with just one problem,’ says Faith Tanney, a psychologist with a private practice in Washington, D.C. ‘You need to be flexible and use a range of methods to tackle the various issues.’
Above all, if you feel comfortable with your therapist and are able to open up to them, the type of treatment they specialize in may not matter. ‘If you believe your therapist is helping you, stick with them,’ says Tanney. ‘But if you don’t feel like they’re making a difference, it doesn’t matter what kind of therapy they offer,’
What type of mental health professional should I seek?
There are various professionals licensed and qualified to provide therapy. Psychologists hold PhDs or PsyDs and are trained in both psychotherapy and psychological assessments. Licensed clinical social workers also specialize in psychotherapy and provide services similar to those of psychologists, though they don’t possess doctorates. A licensed mental health counselor is another option who focuses on psychotherapy, treating patients much like a social worker. Psychiatrists primarily address chemical imbalances in the brain. They hold medical doctorates and can prescribe medications (in some states, psychologists may also have prescribing authority).
If you're considering medication for mood regulation, a psychiatrist is the right choice. However, if you’re seeking talk therapy, it’s best to consult a psychologist, social worker, or counselor. Psychologists often work with patients experiencing serious mental health conditions, while social workers and counselors can assist those dealing with more common psychological issues. Ultimately, as long as your therapist is licensed by the state (states provide online license verification for psychologists, counselors, and clinical social workers), their specific qualifications may not matter as much if you feel comfortable and supported by them.
What kind of research should I conduct before scheduling a consultation?
There are several factors to consider when choosing a therapist. Since therapy can be costly, it's wise to check if your health insurance covers it, and if so, search for therapists within your network. Some therapists also offer sliding scale fees. Location plays an important role as well—if traveling to your therapist is difficult, you may struggle to make appointments, especially in the early stages when you’re still figuring out the fit.
If you're seeking therapy for a specific issue, it's crucial that your therapist has experience in that area. For example, if anxiety is your concern, you want a therapist skilled in treating anxiety. If you're dealing with bulimia, your therapist should have experience working with eating disorders. Websites like therapy.org and Psychology Today provide details on therapists’ specializations, helping you assess whether they are a good match.
Personal preferences also matter when choosing a therapist. ‘Some people prefer someone from a certain age group. Some may feel more comfortable with a therapist who is older and has more experience, while others might want someone closer to their own age,’ explains Howes. ‘Gender is another important consideration. I recommend making a list of three therapists who meet your criteria in terms of age and specialization, and then have an initial session to see if they’re a good fit.’
What questions should I ask during my first session?
After selecting three therapists, you should schedule a consultation, either by phone or in person. Keep in mind that some therapists charge for consultations while others don’t, so it’s helpful to clarify this upfront.
When you attend the consultation, the key is to gauge how you feel about your therapist. ‘It’s like a first date,’ says Tanney. She suggests skipping the typical ‘where did you go to school’ questions because ‘they’re already licensed, so you can sue them,’ she jokes. Instead, focus on discussing your specific goals and how the therapist plans to help you achieve them.
‘You’ve gotten my name from someone. You’ve read about me, and you see that I have the skills, the techniques, the training, and the experience. Now, we’ll see if that works for you,’ says Tanney. ‘We’ll set goals for therapy, I’ll tell you what I think we should work on first, and then you tell me if that makes sense to you.’
It’s a good idea to inquire about the therapist’s policies—some may require advance notice if you need to cancel a session, or only allow a few weeks off without charging. Some therapists prefer you give them notice a few weeks before ending therapy. ‘If you think it’s time to stop, I’d ask you to let me know, so we have a couple of weeks to talk about it,’ says Tanney, who has patients sign a contract.
At the end of the day, trust your instincts.
Finding the right therapist is very much like finding a romantic partner—there has to be a ‘click.’ After a few sessions, if you don’t feel you can open up to your therapist, they may not be the right one for you.
‘It’s all about trusting your instincts,’ says Howes. ‘The therapist may be extremely well-trained with years of experience and a wealth of knowledge, but if you can’t open up to them, then their expertise is useless. On the other hand, they could be a brand new trainee, but if you feel comfortable and safe with them, the therapy will be more effective.’
So, after testing out a few therapists, choose the one you felt most at ease with. And if, after a few sessions, months, or even years, you feel the connection has faded, it’s okay to move on. ‘You hold the power. This person works for you,’ Tanney explains. Don’t just disappear without a word; bring up your concerns directly with them. It’s always respectful to explain why you feel things aren’t working. But remember, you’re the boss. As Tanney puts it, ‘This is not your friend, this is your worker bee.’
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