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When you’re struggling with depression, even the simplest tasks—like picking up a prescription or making a meal—can feel insurmountable. Writer Molly Backes recently tweeted about what she refers to as ‘The Impossible Task,’ and if you’ve ever faced mental health challenges, you likely understand exactly what she means.
As Backes explains, the Impossible Task is any task in your life that should be straightforward but becomes something you can’t seem to complete. You then start to criticize yourself for being unable to handle what seems like an easy task.
In truth, you’re not alone—many people experiencing depression feel the same way, as do those with other mental health struggles, such as anxiety. While the Impossible Task isn’t an official term just yet, many therapists are familiar with this experience. ‘I’m confident that most people dealing with major depressive disorder struggle with the ‘impossible task,’’ says Mary Fisher, a clinical mental health counselor in Salt Lake City, Utah. ‘Giving a name to these difficult, confusing feelings can help diminish their power, so props to Molly Backes.’
‘Most therapists recognize this symptom pattern,’ says Mary Crocker Cook, a marriage and family therapist. ‘I always refer to it as ‘walking through mud.’ Everything feels too difficult. But people who aren’t depressed often don’t understand this.’
It can be difficult to explain what’s happening, even to those in your life who care about you. It becomes especially tricky when you don’t fully understand it yourself.
The Reason Tasks Seem Impossible
I asked therapists about why the Impossible Task often emerges, and received three different yet complementary responses. None of them refer to it as the Impossible Task, so if you bring it up with a therapist, be ready to explain what you mean. However, they all recognize the phenomenon.
Nicole Hollingshead, a clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, explains that people with depression often face a ‘cognitive triad.’ This involves negative thoughts about oneself, the world, and the future. Specifically, she says, ‘a person often views themselves as worthless, the world as cruel and uncaring, and the future as hopeless.’
Cook connects the Impossible Task with low energy, as seen in someone who needs rest after completing a simple chore. She also observes it in people who feel ‘mentally cloudy’ and struggle to make decisions.
Fisher suggests that, much like the fight or flight mechanism, depression is our brain's way of coping with situations we view as overwhelming. She refers to her mentor Lorna Smith Benjamin's research, noting that we develop coping strategies by mimicking our parents' reactions during childhood. This learned behavior provides a sense of security, but if your parents struggled to handle stress, you may adopt their unhealthy responses.
How to Approach an Overwhelming Task
The first step is to show some compassion toward yourself. Experts consistently point out that feeling this way isn't a personal shortcoming—it's a result of what depression is doing to you. Here are some strategies that can help you get unstuck:
Acknowledge your achievements
Perhaps you haven't made that phone call yet, but you did get out of bed today. That’s progress. Focus on what you are capable of accomplishing. Remember, not every task has to feel impossible.
Set achievable goals
Identify tasks that are still within reach, and keep in mind that these might be connected to the overwhelming task or represent a small portion of it. Hollingshead explains that a seemingly simple task might feel impossible because it triggers a chain reaction of other responsibilities: "If I make the bed, then I really need to clean my room, and the dishes have piled up, and the trash needs put out..." So, break it down and set a reasonable goal: 'I’ll do the laundry and put a few dishes away.'
Creating a manageable daily routine can be beneficial. By setting clear tasks that are within your capacity, you can avoid overloading yourself. As you check off each task, you'll likely feel a sense of accomplishment. It also serves to maintain control over your life, preventing other areas from becoming chaotic.
Recognize negative thought patterns
Depression can be harsh, and you’re allowed to call it out. Hollingshead suggests being mindful of damaging thoughts such as 'You’re worthless' or 'What’s the point?' and instead, challenge them by focusing on the actions you can take, rather than dwelling on everything that seems impossible.
There's no need to feel guilty for not accomplishing the Impossible Task. As Fisher points out, 'The Impossible Task is not a personal flaw. It’s neither a sign of weakness nor something illogical. In fact, it’s simply your brain responding the way evolution intended: to threats.'
If possible, seek professional help.
When mental health challenges make tasks seem insurmountable, merely completing them doesn’t solve the core issue. You must get the right help so that your brain doesn’t continue creating new Impossible Tasks for you to face.
Seeking help could involve talk therapy, with or without medications like SSRIs. Trust the experts to guide you in determining what’s best for you. Even if you’re not depressed, another mental health issue might be at play. A professional will be most equipped to assist in identifying this. (For more on clinical depression, here are its symptoms. If you’ve lost interest in things for two weeks or more and it’s disrupting your daily life, you may be experiencing depression.)
Sometimes, getting help itself can feel like an Impossible Task. If that's the case, acknowledge it, recognize the negative thoughts, and try to tackle what’s within your ability. Focus on the smaller steps and be kind to yourself. If cost is a concern, here are options to find affordable help. If approaching someone directly feels too much, consider online services or apps that can simplify reaching out.
Reach out to your support system.
Chances are, there are people in your life who genuinely want to assist you. They may not be aware of the specific help you need, and it’s possible you’ve been hesitant to ask for it.
Cook shared a story about a recent client who struggled with Impossible Tasks and whose family didn’t quite understand. She offered to meet with the client’s parents to explain the situation; perhaps your therapist could do something similar (or you could forward them this article).
If someone has ever said, 'Let me know if you need anything,' take that as your cue to open up about your Impossible Task. Even if they can’t do everything for you—like making a phone call you have to handle—maybe they can help with decisions on who to contact or when, or even be there with you for moral support during the call.
A Message to Friends of Those with Mental Health Struggles
Asking for help can feel like its own Impossible Task. Reach out to your friends who may be struggling, and ask them about their Impossible Tasks. Molly Backes recalls how a friend once drove her two blocks and accompanied her to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. 'It was an amazing gift,' she says. Maybe you can offer that same gift to someone in your life.
