Buzz
While the gym serves as a place for socializing as well as fitness, there are times when you'd rather not engage with someone between your squat sets. Whether your friend keeps showing up at the gym or you share a home gym space with them (hello, partner), here's a strategy for maintaining the friendship while working out solo.
Firstly, it's essential to acknowledge that it's completely normal to prefer working out alone or only with certain types of training partners. Recently, elite weightlifter Mattie Rogers shared that she doesn’t train alongside her partner Sean. Her coach, Aimee Anaya Everett, commented on the situation:
I believe training with your partner often leads to unnecessary arguments... in my experience, it rarely works because people have different focuses and training needs. However, for some, it’s a perfect fit. My advice is to try it wholeheartedly, communicate your needs, and if it doesn't work, stop before it becomes damaging to your relationship!
A similar issue recently appeared on Reddit, where a lifter sought advice because she keeps a regular gym schedule, but her friend arrives at the same time and assumes they will work out together.
Understand what each person expects from the situation
Effective communication is crucial here, but it's also important to understand both your own needs and the other person’s. Why does your friend keep showing up? They likely want or need something from the gym relationship, and perhaps you do as well. It may simply require finding another way to meet those needs.
For instance, if you’re guiding a friend who's new to fitness, that doesn’t necessarily need to happen during your own workout. Encourage their independence. Ask them what questions they have before the session, then make time to catch up afterwards, or perhaps once a week. Point them toward other resources for information.
If your friend is looking for someone to chat with while you’re more focused and results-driven, you both need to recognize this difference in approach and adjust your plans accordingly.
If you share a home gym with a partner or roommate, establish a workout schedule that helps you avoid crowding each other’s space and make the most of your time.
Try connecting at different moments to give each other some space, instead of syncing your workout times.
You can still ‘work out together’ by choosing different exercises and respecting each other’s space. I remember going to the gym with my husband—he’d spot me on the bench press, and afterward, we’d each continue our separate workouts.
One Reddit user found a great solution by meeting up with a friend for some post-workout stretching, which is a perfect way to bond while cooling down after a focused session.
If you're a runner, you could meet up with a friend at the track. While you're doing your intervals, they can enjoy a casual jog, and you can catch up during water breaks before cooling down together at the end of the workout.
My husband and I have found a routine where we use the home gym at different times. I prefer a focused, solo workout in the mornings during the week, while he works out on his own a few afternoons. Saturdays, however, are our special exception.
Saturdays are reserved for our shared deadlift sessions. It's a more relaxed pace compared to my usual workouts, and I tend to take longer breaks between sets. We bring out camp chairs, play some music, and chat as we alternate lifting. It's a fun way to connect, especially since we don’t work out like this any other day of the week.
Even if you and a friend or partner can’t workout side-by-side, you can still bond in other ways. A classic post-run brunch is a great example. You can enjoy your shared passion for fitness without needing to share equipment, rest periods, or every moment of attention.
