Buzz
When preparing for public speaking, there are key pieces of advice often repeated: Understand your audience, be well-prepared, and maintain eye contact.
That’s all well and good, but for a variety of reasons, not everyone is comfortable making eye contact during speeches or personal interactions. Additionally, after spending much of the past year confined to our homes and communicating virtually, even those once at ease with eye contact may need a bit of time to adjust.
But what should you do if you’re speaking to someone who avoids eye contact? Do you continue trying to maintain eye contact, or do you mirror their behavior and look elsewhere? In a recent article in the Huffington Post, Caroline Bologna consulted communication specialists to uncover strategies for managing this delicate situation.
Advice for Communicating With Someone Who Avoids Eye Contact
Before diving into the details, it’s important to note that cultural differences can significantly influence the expectations and norms surrounding eye contact.
“Eye contact is highly valued, particularly in American culture,” said psychotherapist Annette Nunez in an interview with the Huffington Post. Since it’s often impossible to know everything about someone’s background prior to a conversation, it’s a good rule of thumb to match their behavior when uncertain.
Additional suggestions for conversing with someone who avoids eye contact, as outlined in Bologna’s article, include:
Don’t take offense if someone you're talking to doesn’t make eye contact with you.
Approach the conversation with warmth and understanding.
Respect the other person’s preferred communication style (including their eye contact habits, or lack thereof).
If needed, modify the environment or position of the conversation, such as by taking a walk or reviewing a shared document together.
Be mindful not to dominate the conversation.
In short, be patient, show kindness, and go with the flow.
