Buzz
Pooping is a totally normal part of life, but sometimes you just don’t want to announce it to the world with sounds or smells. There are ways to take care of business discreetly, keeping your bathroom breaks low-key.
Choose a good time for privacy
If you can anticipate when you might need to go, try to find moments when you can enjoy privacy. In a busy environment like an office or school, look for a hidden bathroom tucked away on another floor or in a quiet corner. While everyone else crowds the main restroom, you can claim a more secluded spot as your own private pooping oasis.
Think about your timing: If you tend to need the bathroom right after grabbing a coffee on your way to work, try adjusting your routine so that you enjoy your coffee or breakfast before leaving home. Hot beverages can trigger the urge to poop (it doesn’t have to be coffee), so using a drink strategically could help you time your bathroom break better.
Disguise the sounds
If the bathroom is equipped with a fan, turn it on. (This will help with both sound and smell). You can also use running water to mask noises, so if you’re sharing a hotel room or trying to stay discreet from a roommate, a quick pre-shower poop while waiting for the water to heat up can be a good option.
There are even devices made specifically to mask bathroom sounds, like the Faux Fan, a small speaker that produces fan noises. Personally, I think it’s a little odd to hear a fan sound coming from a public restroom stall instead of just hearing the usual noises, but hey, whatever works to make you feel more comfortable. Instead of carrying around a gadget, you could always play a 10-hour fan sound video from YouTube right from your phone.
Eliminate the odor
Even if no one notices you’re pooping in the moment, the unmistakable smell often gives it away. Thankfully, there are ways to manage this.
A quick spritz of air freshener or a few squirts of a scented product—like perfume—can do wonders. Some people even recommend using a bit of extra-scented hand soap in the sink when they wash up. And if there’s a fan, be sure to leave it running even after you step out of the bathroom.
But wait, there’s more. Even the most critical reviews of Poo-pourri, the product you squirt into the toilet before going, agree that it does something. Most reviewers seem to think it reduces the poo smell overall, but the scent that escapes blends with the citrus or ginger fragrance of the product. (This, of course, is a common issue with any scent-based solution.)
How do you stop the smell from even reaching the air? Enter the courtesy flush. This involves flushing the toilet immediately after you hear the plop. You might need to flush two or three times (and don’t forget to flush your toilet paper), but it’s a solid tactic for managing smells proactively.
Also, be sure to check the toilet bowl before you leave. Some toilets don’t flush as thoroughly as others, and you don’t want to assume that one or two flushes got rid of everything. After all, if you leave behind any evidence, the next person will know exactly what went down in there.
