Buzz
When dealing with a young child, ignoring their tantrum is sometimes the best strategy. But how do you handle an adult experiencing a complete meltdown in a public setting? This scenario happens (and not just during televised press conferences).
Think about those upset customers in restaurants demanding to speak with the manager, or the viral video of a woman breaking down at an Apple store because she failed to make an appointment. What should you do if you're witnessing an adult in the midst of a temper tantrum?
The first approach is straightforward: stay calm and listen, no matter how much you may feel tempted to speak. 'It’s unlikely you’ll have a meaningful conversation when someone is in the red zone,' psychologist Susan Orenstein told the Wall Street Journal. 'But it's crucial to say something like, ‘I can't listen to you while you’re throwing things. But I’d be happy to listen when you calm down.’'
For now, there's no need to validate their emotions or thoughts, especially if you disagree with them; simply reassure them that their feelings are being acknowledged. (Joel, our senior video producer, once observed a temper tantrum from a family member over a minor misunderstanding. His approach? Let them be angry, at least for the time being.)
Once the anger has faded and the meltdown is over, Orenstein suggests addressing the root cause of the frustration by asking what triggered the outburst. Avoid being confrontational and focus on asking open-ended questions. Could it be work-related or just a simple misunderstanding?
Of course, this also depends on your relationship with the person. If it's a complete stranger having a meltdown, you don't know what might be triggering them, and asking questions could make things worse. However, if it's a friend, it may be worthwhile to uncover the source of the issue to prevent similar outbursts in the future.
If that approach doesn't work, psychoanalyst Roberta Satow suggests evaluating the potential risk. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable at any moment, Satow advises setting clear boundaries. Clearly communicate why you feel uneasy and define your limits with the person. If they disregard your feelings, the next step is to give them space.
Walk away, let them calm down, and decide if you're willing to tolerate another outburst. 'Consider issuing an ultimatum—but only if you're serious about it,' WSJ advises. If things remain unchanged, you might want to seriously think about cutting them out of your life entirely; here’s how you can do just that.
