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Everyone has opinions about how their body appears and fits into the world. Body image can shift with time, day, or life stage, but if it becomes a source of anxiety, there are ways to gently change how you view your body. To gain insights on managing negative body image and cultivating self-compassion, I reached out to three experts in the field of body image:
Sophia Apostol, a body liberation coach.
Dacy Gillespie, an anti-diet, weight-inclusive personal stylist.
Ginny Jones, a coach specializing in supporting parents dealing with mental health challenges and eating disorder recovery.
Here’s what they shared about overcoming internalized weight stigma, dealing with negative body image, and embracing self-compassion.
Feeling bad about your body image is a complex issue
Body image refers to how you perceive your body, how you feel about it, how you think about it, and the actions you take based on these perceptions. Many factors shape how you see, think, feel, and respond to your body—many of which aren't even related to your physical appearance. Think of the enormous amount of messages you've received throughout your life about what constitutes a 'good,' 'healthy,' or 'beautiful' body. It’s no wonder you’re acutely aware of how your body differs from the 'ideal.'
“Weight stigma is the belief that our bodies should resemble those of models you see on magazine covers, in advertisements, and in most films (i.e., thin and/or muscular),” Apostol explained. “So, when your body doesn’t conform to these widely accepted cultural standards of beauty, fitness, and health, you experience weight stigma and discrimination, often referred to as anti-fat bias. Rooted in racism, anti-fat bias influences many areas of people's lives, including their employment opportunities and access to evidence-based healthcare, just to name a few.”
Body image can be shaped by internalized weight stigma, a cultural tendency to devalue fat individuals that we absorb from media, healthcare, and the people around us, and then apply to ourselves.
"When we internalize these negative views towards fatness, judging our bodies and believing we are undeserving of equal opportunities because of our body size, that's when internalized weight stigma takes hold," Apostol said. "Essentially, the world tells you that you don’t belong, and you accept it. You’re being gaslit by diet culture."
How negative body image develops
When you feel there's something 'wrong' with the way you look, have you ever stopped to wonder who decided what makes a body 'right' or 'wrong'?
“When you believe that you are inherently less valuable than others due to your body size, you begin to dissect every part of your body, focusing on what you think should be different,” Gillespie shared. “These thoughts shape your inner dialogue, preventing you from recognizing the beauty and positives of your body as it is.”
As a result of negative body image, you might feel undeserving of compassion, love, friendship, personal style, career opportunities, or comfort in public spaces. We all desire these things, but weight stigma and negative body image can leave us feeling conflicted between 'fixing' our bodies, accepting them, or remaining in uncertainty.
“Someone who has internalized weight stigma believes they must change or control their body to deserve basic human worth,” Jones explained. “This is a problem because weight isn’t something that can be adjusted like a thermostat, and even if it were, a specific weight should not be a requirement for basic dignity and respect. Regardless of our weight, all of us are equally deserving and wonderful.”
Strategies for embracing your body and enhancing body image
Allow yourself the space to be exactly where you are
“We are all immersed in a sea of messages that promote the idea that being thin is better, healthier, or morally superior. It takes time and bravery to fully separate from diet culture, so take pride in the progress you’re making to heal your relationship with your body,” Apostol shared.
Expand the variety of voices you follow on social media
Apostol suggests following 10 creators in each of the following categories:
Activists for fat liberation
Educators focused on anti-racism
Advocates for disability justice
Artists and writers from BIPOC communities
Neurodivergent individuals
Transgender individuals
Queer individuals
“If your feed is filled with people who resemble either yourself or your idealized version of yourself, you're contributing to the creation of your own negative body image,” she explained.
The opportunity to witness body diversity in media is a relatively new development, so make the most of it.
“For far too long, media has primarily showcased images of thin women. Our eyes have been conditioned to perceive only these bodies as beautiful,” Gillespie explained. “Now, you can actively curate your social media and intentionally seek out images of people of various body sizes who are fashionable and interesting. It will take time for your perspective to shift.”
Seek out your community
Individuals promoting methods to alter your body to fit an ideal are not the ones who will genuinely support your journey toward a healthier body image.
“Our society bombards us with messages that there’s a right and wrong way to have a body, reinforcing internalized weight stigma. To overcome negative body image, I sought out individuals who believe that all bodies, no matter the size, are equally worthy. I’m not referring to mainstream body positivity that urges you to love your body, but rather a profound message that every body deserves respect and dignity,” Jones explained.
Create distance from those who contribute to your negative feelings about your body
“We each have our own unique journey, and you might need to take a different route than your family and friends. If they can't respect your body acceptance journey, then surround yourself with people who do,” Apostol advised.
Don’t rely on mirrors or photos as the ultimate reflection of reality
“What we perceive in the mirror is often clouded by our own negative thoughts. Photos capture only a brief moment and a specific angle. They don’t reflect the full story of your life and energy,” Gillespie explained. “A perfect example of this: I was in Costa Rica last week. None of the photos I took of the breathtaking sunsets there truly captured their actual beauty.”
Detach your self-worth from your weight
Jones shared that this was a pivotal step in her recovery from a lifetime of struggling with negative body image.
“It didn’t happen overnight. For most of my life, I believed I had to maintain a low weight to be loved. Naturally, it took years of conscious effort to form a new belief: that I am absolutely worthy of love, acceptance, and respect, no matter my weight,” she stated.
Focus on improving your self-talk
Jones explained that it's not as easy as simply shutting down negative self-talk, because doing so might actually backfire.
“Instead, I recognize each negative body thought and consciously respond with kindness, like, ‘Oh, here I am, experiencing a negative body thought. That’s OK. I know my worth isn't defined by my weight.’ Repeating this hundreds of times helped me shift from internalized weight stigma to body respect,” she shared.
It’s a difficult journey, so be sure to treat yourself with kindness
Apostol recommends asking yourself these questions when you begin to feel self-judgment:
What am I actually upset about right now? (“Typically it’s not about my body, but more about the fear of being judged by others. So, what I’m actually upset about is how others view fat people,” Apostol explained.)
How can I care for myself in this moment?
What’s possible right now?
What would I like to do about this situation?
Transforming how you feel and think about your body is not something that happens quickly.
“We must acknowledge that for over a century, thin bodies have been idealized. This standard was passed down through generations—our mothers, and their mothers before them. There are multi-billion dollar industries pushing the narrative that we should constantly work to make ourselves smaller. For much of your life, up until you decided to challenge this, you were fed the same message by media and likely by those around you,” Gillespie explained. “Thinking you can reverse this deep-rooted conditioning just by changing your mindset overnight is unrealistic. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay that you’re not there yet!”
