Buzz
You likely realize that bringing new people into your close circle isn’t instant, but have you ever wondered exactly how long it takes to move from strangers to real friends? According to a recent study, it takes at least 90 hours of shared experiences before someone truly considers you a friend.
A study featured in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships discovered that it typically takes about 50 hours of interaction to transition from acquaintances to casual friends (the ones you might grab a drink with or see at social events), roughly 90 hours to establish a solid friendship (where you actively make plans together), and over 200 hours to develop a deep, best-friend-level bond (marked by a strong emotional connection).
To be clear, these hours count only when you're engaging in activities together—whether it's having coffee, binge-watching shows, or gaming—as long as both of you choose to spend that time together. Work hours don’t carry the same weight, meaning colleagues can become friends, but only if you also connect outside of the office.
So, why does this matter? It highlights a crucial truth about friendship: it requires real investment. Jeffrey Hall, Associate Professor of Communication Studies and lead author of the study, puts it simply: “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend.” Hanging out a couple of times for a few hours won’t fast-track a deep bond. Devote time to those you appreciate, hope they reciprocate, and focus on enjoying the moments together—friendship will naturally follow.
If you're uncertain about your relationship with someone you consider a friend (or someone you're considering as a friend), give Hall’s Interactive Friendship Tool a try. It asks a series of questions about your time spent together, how long you've known each other, and your feelings toward them. Afterward, it compares your responses to a vast dataset. Check it out and see what it reveals.
