Buzz
No one enjoys listening to a person who rambles. While it may feel satisfying to talk about yourself, others won’t find it nearly as engaging as you might think. Keep the conversation on track by following a simple rule.
When conversing with someone, their mind goes through a series of steps in the listening process. They may initially be interested in what you’re saying, but their focus will quickly fade. Mark Goulston from the Harvard Business Review describes a technique used by radio host Marty Nemko called the 'traffic light rule':
In the first 20 seconds of speaking, your light is green: your listener is engaged as long as your comments are relevant to the conversation and ideally serve the other person. However, unless you’re a master storyteller, talking for more than 30 seconds at a time is often boring and seen as excessive. So, the light shifts to yellow for the next 20 seconds— signaling that the risk of losing their interest is rising. At the 40-second mark, your light is red.
Occasionally, you may need to push through that red light to make your point, but generally, it’s wiser to stop yourself. Keep in mind that a good conversation is like a tennis match, with lots of back-and-forth. So, when you’re speaking—especially about yourself—pay attention to how long you take to express your thoughts. Could you make the same point with fewer words? Chances are, you could. If you tend to ramble, the traffic light rule alone may not be enough to stop you, but it’s definitely a solid starting point.
Image courtesy of John Morton.
