Buzz
Running into a long-lost close friend can feel both intriguing and uncomfortable. To reconnect more meaningfully, steer clear of the usual small talk and instead focus on what they've discovered or experienced since you last caught up.
When Paul Ford, a programmer, received a hello from an old friend, he responded by sharing a list of lessons he'd learned, rather than a typical brief update about work, family, and other basic facts.
Over the past ten years, here’s what I’ve discovered:
How people are mostly kind, except when interacting on the public Internet (but they’re privately generous). How many people claim tragedies that aren't their own. How to construct a vast digital archive from old magazines. How to recreate that process for another publication. How to manage large-scale digital projects. How to walk away from a dream job.
Understanding the distinctions between a website, a group of websites, an API, a platform, and an ecosystem. How to be the least knowledgeable person in the room without feeling awkward. How to be the most knowledgeable person in the room without feeling arrogant. How to exist somewhere in between. Realizing I’m neither the most fascinating person in the room nor the worst person alive. How to avoid mishandling a class.
Each of these experiences has its own backstory, providing more chances to reconnect. While it may feel somewhat unexpected to reach out to a former close friend out of the blue, asking such a question could spark an interesting dialogue if both of you are eager to reconnect and have meaningful exchanges.
Photo by Clément.
