Buzz
Back in April 1991, the team behind NBC’s iconic late-night show Saturday Night Live was preparing for their next episode, and their host was visibly upset.
The skit in question involved actor and martial arts expert Steven Seagal teaming up with Hans and Franz, the muscle-bound Austrian pair portrayed by Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon. In the original script, the duo would mock Seagal, suggesting that their hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger, could “easily defeat him with just a flick of his finger, sending him flying into a pile of baby poop.”
Carvey noticed Seagal’s serious demeanor and inquired if he was alright. After all, it was just a humorous sketch meant to be over-the-top. However, Seagal wasn’t amused. The thought of Schwarzenegger outmatching him was intolerable. Seagal insisted on changes to the sketch, forcing a last-minute rewrite to portray him more favorably.
Cast members have frequently labeled Seagal as the most disastrous host in SNL history—a dubious honor for a show that has run for almost five decades.
No Laughs Here
With over 880 episodes to its name, SNL has occasionally faced the challenge of hosting individuals unfit for the role. From uninspiring athletes to controversial figures like Andrew “Dice” Clay, whose sexist act led cast member Nora Dunn to boycott the show in 1990, the series has seen it all. Even Nick Nolte’s no-show forced his 48 Hours co-star Eddie Murphy to step in, making him the only cast member to host while still being part of the show.
Seagal stood apart from the rest. Discovered by agent Michael Ovitz, the aikido expert’s rugged appearance and commanding presence convinced Ovitz he had star potential.
Warner Bros. executives shared this belief. Seagal’s success in films like Above the Law (1988), Hard to Kill, and Marked for Death (both 1990) solidified his status. The media was captivated by his mysterious persona and his controversial claims of involvement in CIA missions.
“Having spent a significant amount of time in Asia, particularly Japan, I grew close to several CIA operatives,” Seagal stated to the Los Angeles Times in 1988. “I served as an advisor to field agents and, through these connections, met influential figures and carried out specialized tasks and favors.” (The CIA, true to its nature, neither confirms nor denies such assertions, regardless of the source.)
Unlike Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone, who often mocked their tough-guy personas, Seagal seemed devoid of humor. The SNL cast quickly realized this as the actor’s week-long preparation for the show began poorly. (Hosts usually collaborate with the cast and writers in the week leading up to the broadcast.) Writer and actor Bob Odenkirk (Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul), who was part of the SNL team at the time, recalled that Seagal claimed ignorance about the show’s popularity, despite its star-studded lineup featuring Carvey, Nealon, Phil Hartman, Jan Hooks, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Victoria Jackson, Chris Rock, Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, David Spade, and Rob Schneider.
“It’s one of the most infamous, disastrous episodes that can’t be re-aired,” Odenkirk remarked during a 2022 interview with Howard Stern. “Seagal reviewed the Hans and Franz sketch and insisted, ‘If I do this, and they challenge me, I have to defeat them.’ It was absurd—no one expected an actual fight.
“He repeatedly said, ‘I’ve never watched your show. I don’t know what you do here.’ Seriously? You’ve never seen Saturday Night Live?”
Odenkirk also noted that while Seagal criticized the writers’ sketches, he eagerly proposed his own ideas. One involved Exxon’s board of directors plotting an oil spill while Seagal physically subdued them. The sketch aimed to highlight environmental concerns following Exxon’s notorious 1989 oil spill disaster. While it was essentially a lecture, it wasn’t the most outlandish suggestion Seagal would make.
Pushed to the Limit
The April 20, 1991, episode of SNL, hosted by Seagal with musical guest Michael Bolton, is now a rarity. Unless you delve into the internet’s hidden corners, it’s hard to piece together exactly what transpired. SNL has kept the full episode out of public circulation—a clear indication of its poor reception.
Seagal kicked off the show with a less contentious version of the Hans and Franz sketch. After mocking Seagal’s “tiny arms” and Schwarzenegger’s superiority, the duo cowers when Seagal arrives, delivering a Zen-inspired monologue before using aikido to toss them around.
Following the cold open, Seagal earnestly performs “Kung-Fu Fighting,” then transforms into “Tenelli, One Man Army,” a clichéd rogue cop with Phil Hartman as his exasperated boss. (Demoted to desk duty, Tenelli deals with Rob Schneider’s Guy by hurling him through a copier.) Seagal also impersonates Andrew “Dice” Clay opposite Chris Rock’s Nat X, wrecks the Exxon sketch set as a militant Greenpeace photographer, and intimidates Chris Farley as his daughter’s suitor. In multiple sketches, Seagal flings cast members through flimsy sets. A YouTube commenter dubbed the episode “The Room of SNL,” comparing it to Tommy Wiseau’s notoriously bad yet oddly captivating cult film.
In the 2008 book Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, cast member Tim Meadows recalled that Seagal’s lack of self-awareness was the core issue. “Seagal complained about jokes he didn’t understand, which was like explaining German to someone who doesn’t speak it,” Meadows noted. “He wasn’t funny and constantly criticized the cast and writers. He didn’t grasp that insulting someone on Wednesday wouldn’t inspire them to write for him by Saturday.”
This wasn’t the final instance of an SNL cast member crossing paths with Seagal. Rob Schneider recalled a story about a writer friend who met Seagal to discuss a sequel to the 1992 film Under Siege. The friend ran into Seagal on a movie set, where Seagal declared, “I just read the most incredible script I’ve ever come across.”
“Really?” Schneider’s friend replied. “Who’s the writer?”
“Me,” Seagal responded.
David Spade mentioned that Seagal’s difficult behavior led the production team to consider hosting the show without a guest. Howard Stern asked Odenkirk the same question: If it wasn’t working, why proceed? Odenkirk explained, “By Wednesday, it’s too late to change course.”
