Buzz
Over the years, I've observed countless individuals embark on their weight loss journey. There's one trait that stands out in those who fail quickly, and it's not poor genetics, lack of time, or a love for wine. It's simply stubbornness.
When you're working to shed pounds, there will be many challenges: busy days, willpower, and even family dynamics. Most of these can be managed, and we've covered solutions on Mytour. However, stubbornness isn't so easily tackled; it sabotages your fitness efforts even before they can begin to show results.
Consider a time when someone made a statement that you felt completely opposed to, whether about religion, politics, or sports. How did you react?
Most likely, your instinct was to speak up. You might have even experienced physical responses: muscles tightening, heart rate increasing, and perhaps even clenching your fists.
Perhaps you are confident in the logic behind your decisions, but often, this reaction is more about protecting your ego—you’re unwilling to even consider the possibility that you might be wrong. This is stubbornness: clinging to your default beliefs without questioning them. And who can blame you? Admitting that some of the actions you’ve taken, ones that may have even contributed to your success, could be wrong is uncomfortable. So, you opt not to challenge them. When your views are challenged, you may shut down long before considering the other person's perspective.
But what does stubbornness—resisting change—have to do with fitness?
It Blocks You From Discovering What Works For You
For one, a lot of what we think we know about health and fitness isn’t entirely accurate. Some people see better results when they have breakfast, while others thrive by skipping it. But if you refuse to even entertain the idea of skipping breakfast, you might miss out on discovering something that could help you progress more effectively.
Instead, you stick with what you know and blame things like “genetics” or “laziness.” While both can play a role, many people who point to these factors as reasons for their failure are actually failing because of stubbornness. They were so sure that genetics or laziness were the causes, they never considered that there might be other, more impactful factors at play. They saw fitness as a talent they could never develop, rather than a skill they could improve, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It Keeps You Stuck in the Past
Imagine you’ve planned to hit the gym in the morning, because you enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with starting your day right. You set your alarm an hour earlier than usual to squeeze in a quick workout before heading to work. But on your way to the gym, you're caught in a major traffic jam. After thirty minutes of being at a standstill, you realize that you can’t make it to the gym and still get to work on time.
You’re upset, angry. You can’t help but think that some reckless driver caused the mess, and you stew in that frustration.
If you’re like most people, this is your default reaction, and it leads to a predictable set of outcomes. You feel like your plans for a healthy day have been ruined, and your sour mood snowballs, making everything else seem worse. Anger breeds more anger, and before you know it, you’ve indulged in junk food because, after all, there’s always another Monday.
Dwelling on setbacks is incredibly damaging to your fitness journey. You fixate on past mistakes—things that can’t be undone—rather than focusing on what you can control moving forward. This mindset locks you into a fixed perspective on fitness.
The opposite of this toxic default is compassion. Perhaps the driver wasn’t a jackass, but a new mother who was trying to comfort her baby for a brief moment and took her eyes off the road. Or perhaps you shouldn’t mentally beat yourself and others up for missing your morning workout, because the events were outside of your control. Shit happens. Shrug it off and try to continue your day like nothing happened.
It Reduces Your Ability to Be Flexible
There’s a viral article where the host of Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe, tells the story of his friend Claire, who asks him for dating advice (a conversation we’ve harkened to before):
Look at me,” she said. “I take care of myself. I’ve put myself out there. Why is this so hard?
How about that guy at the end of the bar,” I said. “He keeps looking at you.
Not my type.
Really? How do you know?
I just know.
Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.
Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!
Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?
What? Leave San Francisco? Never!
...
Claire doesn't truly seek a partner, she seeks the 'perfect' one. She's after a soulmate—specifically, one who lives within her zip code. She created this ideal partner in her mind years ago and is now frustrated by the wait. I didn't say this to her, as Claire can be unpredictable, but it's the truth. She complains about being alone, even though her rigid rules ensure she'll stay that way. She's built a barrier between herself and her goal, a barrier constructed from conditions and expectations. Could you have constructed a similar barrier for yourself?
I've encountered many people with this mindset, who want change but have a specific vision of a 'healthy lifestyle' they believe they should be living. This image includes no alcohol, running daily, and other unrealistic standards often found on fitspiration blogs. For them, anything outside of this perfect picture of health is viewed as a failure.
In this scenario, stubbornness limits one's flexibility. It may seem counterintuitive, but being flexible is crucial for success. Flexibility is the key to sticking to a healthy routine, and sticking to your routine is the most important factor in maintaining any successful diet plan. Committing to your diet and making the right choices 80% of the time will yield better long-term results than going all-in for a few weeks.
Stop Holding On to Stubbornness in Your Health Journey
So how can you break free from stubbornness? The first thing to understand is that stubbornness is a defense mechanism, a way to protect your current lifestyle and self-image. The challenge in changing habits lies in the subconscious fear that any threat to your current way of life could result in discomfort, a blow to your pride, or a hit to your ego.
It's essential to recognize that at times, you can be stubborn. Make an effort to stay aware of this tendency and catch yourself when you find yourself automatically falling into familiar thought patterns. You'll likely feel a surge of emotions that reinforce your belief that you're right. Take note of this sensation and remember it the next time it arises.
When you notice this happening, ask yourself, 'Why do I hold onto these beliefs, and why do they matter so much?' For instance, when I say 'breakfast isn't the most important meal of the day,' many people are taken aback. But if you explore why they cling to this belief, it often boils down to 'I’ve heard it over and over' or 'It’s just something I’ve always done.' Is it really worth getting upset if you're wrong? Probably not.
When you find yourself wrong, embrace it. Understand that this is an opportunity for growth and not a cause for shame. By questioning your default beliefs, you’ve demonstrated growth. It’s better than just accepting the commonly-accepted norms, like activated almonds or gluten-free toast, just because others do it. Instead, you’ll discover what works best for you and aligns with your lifestyle and habits.
At first, this may feel challenging, but like anything else, it becomes easier with time and practice. Soon, you’ll start to experience the rewards of being less stubborn. Fitness will no longer feel like an endless series of restrictions set by experts in health and fitness magazines. Ultimately, you’ll realize that success in fitness doesn’t come from living a flawless life, but from embracing and learning from your mistakes.
Image by carpwords.
