Buzz
Rachel Miller, a productivity writer, keeps notes when hanging out with friends — even on coffee dates, she shares. Her main focus is recording helpful suggestions — such as great TV shows, recipes, or once, pullover socks. It's become such a routine that her friends now email each other asking for Rachel’s 'meeting notes.' Here’s how you can begin taking your own notes, without feeling awkward or out of place.
Keep It Relaxed
Jot down short notes on your phone or in a small notebook. No need to carry around a large notebook or document everything verbatim. The goal isn’t to make your friends feel like they’re being formally recorded. Instead, you simply want them to know they’re being heard.
You may find that excessive phone note-taking can be distracting. Even if you're jotting down thoughts, constantly pulling out your phone can make it seem like you're texting rather than actively listening. Plus, notifications and messages could interrupt your note-taking process. If you carry a bag, consider keeping a small notepad and a tiny pen inside it.
If you choose to use an app, I suggest a to-do list app instead of a messaging app. It requires fewer taps to add a new note. You can also add it as a lock screen widget for easy access, reducing the chances of getting distracted by other apps.
Remember who said what
Keep your notes concise, but not so short that you can't understand them later. It might take some practice to find the right balance between brevity and clarity, especially if you've had a drink. And make it a habit to review your notes the following day, before your memory starts to fade and the meaning becomes harder to interpret. (See “share your notes,” below.)
Be sure to note who said what. This not only helps you remember to thank or credit them, but it’s also useful for recovering an idea if you can’t quite figure out your handwriting or understand why you wrote it down in the first place.
Kickstart your own thoughtfulness
Conversation notes are great for tracking recommendations or a random “action item” like “Take the umbrella back to Tim’s house on Sunday.” But they’re also useful for remembering personal details someone shares, like birthdays, anniversaries, or a relative who's unwell and needs checking in on. This is where keeping it casual really works, so you seem thoughtful and not like you're ‘Abed from *Community*’ tracking your friends’ cycles.
If you want to take it up a notch, use bathroom breaks not to check your phone, but to write down the notes you didn’t want to make in front of your friends. Then, a week later, surprise them by sending the Amazon Basics gadget you both raved about.
Share your notes
If you're hanging out with a group, send everyone your notes afterward—at least the ones relevant to everyone. Use this power responsibly: no passive-aggressive reminders. You’ll help everyone out (especially those with forgetful memories), and you'll help yourself by remembering the notes rather than leaving them buried in your Notes app.
Sharing your notes is a smooth way to keep a conversation going in an email or group text. It creates a sense of continuity in your friendship without coming across as overbearing. How many times can I say “keep it casual” in this post?
