Buzz
Crime has been a long-standing issue that disrupts societies worldwide. It destroys the lives of individuals, families, and communities. In many cases, the criminals themselves suffer as a result of their actions, especially when they lack the skills to carry out their crimes effectively.
While robbery is no laughing matter, these particular criminals have made such ridiculous errors that they are more of a danger to themselves than to anyone else. It's hard not to chuckle at their misfortunes. Hopefully, these ten thieves can turn to honest work, as they clearly lack the qualities of criminal masterminds. Keep in mind that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, no matter how incompetent they may seem.
10. Daniel Rahynes: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
When Daniel Rahynes walked into a Metro Bank in Harrisburg in March 2011, he initially told the tellers that he was looking to open an account. The staff eagerly began helping him with the process, even collecting two forms of ID for their records.
Once Rahynes had provided his identification, he revealed his true intention to the teller: he planned to rob the bank. After taking a small sum of money, he fled the scene and drove off in a car parked nearby. A few blocks away, he collided with another vehicle but continued his escape. It didn’t take long for the police to track him down and recover the stolen money. After all, he had provided his ID!
9. Kasey Kazee: Catlettsburg, Kentucky
Kasey Kazee earned the infamous title of the 'Duct-Tape Bandit' in August 2007. His face was completely covered with duct tape and his t-shirt was pulled over the back of his head as he tried to rob a liquor store. The store owner, however, chased him out with a club, and Kazee was tackled and held until the police arrived to arrest him. During the struggle, his makeshift mask fell off, exposing his identity.
Bizarrely, Kazee insisted he wasn’t involved in the robbery and claimed the police had the wrong person, despite being caught in the act. His claims of innocence were quickly mocked, and he eventually pled guilty. As a result, the Duct Tape Bandit was sentenced to prison.
8. Cory Philips: Paducah, Kentucky
In October 2019, an armed man entered a hotel in Kentucky, his face concealed. He threatened the clerk with a gun and demanded all the money she had. The clerk, following his orders, collected several stacks of bills, placed them on the counter, and handed him a plastic bag to carry the cash.
As the robber tried to stuff the money into the bag, he realized he needed both hands, so he set his gun down on the counter. In a flash of cleverness, the clerk grabbed the unattended weapon before the thief could react. The thief, realizing his blunder, tried to leap over the counter to reclaim his gun, but when the clerk aimed it at him, he quickly fled the scene. A suspect named Cory Philips was later apprehended on charges of attempted robbery for his mistake.
7. Albert Bailey: Fairfield, Connecticut
Calling a business ahead of time to have your order prepared can be a great way to save time. However, it’s not a good idea if you’re planning something illegal. That’s the lesson Albert Bailey learned when he called a bank in Connecticut to tell the teller to have the money ready, as he was on his way to rob them.
The teller immediately called 911, and the bank was locked down. However, before the authorities could respond, an underage accomplice of Bailey entered the bank with a note demanding a “blood bath” and requesting that no dye pack be included in the bag. Unfortunately for the duo, a dye pack had been placed in the bag anyway. It detonated when they threw the bag to the ground, and both Bailey and his accomplice were arrested after leaving the scene.
6. Anthony Prince and Luke Carroll: Vail, Colorado
Two Australian friends living in Vail, Colorado, decided to rob a bank, but their poorly thought-out plan led to multiple mistakes. The pair arrived at the bank wearing masks, but they were still dressed in their work uniforms, complete with name tags. They also didn’t bother to mask their thick Australian accents, which were easy to detect in Colorado. Armed with realistic-looking BB pistols, they threatened a teller and made off with over $100,000 in cash.
The bumbling criminals didn’t hide their tracks well. They used the stolen money at nearby businesses, purchasing a Rolex watch and airline tickets to Mexico, and even tipped a cab driver $20,000. They also posed for photos holding the stolen cash, leaving no room for doubt. Detectives needed less than 10 minutes to identify the pair after investigating the evidence.
5. Unidentified Man: Aurora, Colorado
On September 2, 2018, a man wearing Denver Broncos merchandise entered an e-cigarette store with the intent of robbing it. As he approached the counter, he pulled out a replica pistol to threaten the clerk. However, the clumsy robber fumbled the gun as he pulled it from his pocket, causing it to fly over the counter and land next to the shocked clerk.
In a panic, the would-be robber tried to leap over the counter to retrieve his weapon, but he couldn’t quite manage it. Before he could reach the gun, the clerk grabbed it. Realizing his blunder, the thief fled in a hurry, kicking open the door to make his escape. Unfortunately, his loose-fitting sweatpants fell down as he did so, adding even more embarrassment to the failed robbery attempt. The man remains unidentified, though it’s possible that people are too embarrassed for him to report him.
4. Shawn Brown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
In October 2019, a man walked into a cell phone store in Philadelphia, brandishing a gun and demanding money from the clerk. However, the store didn’t have much cash on hand, which left the robber unsatisfied with his meager haul. The employee calmly informed the robber that another employee outside had more money, and if he could wait patiently inside, the employee would go get it for him.
The robber agreed, and the employee exited the store, locking the door behind him, trapping the criminal inside. In a panic, the robber tried to shoot his way out, firing ten rounds and leaving seven bullet holes in the storefront. However, he was still unable to escape. Police soon arrived and arrested Shawn Brown at the scene inside the store.
3. Macarthur Wheeler and Clifton Johnson: Swissvale, Pennsylvania
In January 1995, Macarthur Wheeler and Clifton Johnson concocted a robbery plan so poorly thought out that it has since been the subject of studies on how people come up with bad ideas. The two men discovered that lemon juice could be used as invisible ink. They reasoned that if they applied the lemon juice to their faces, it would make their features invisible to any detection.
After coating their faces in lemon juice, they confidently proceeded to rob a bank. Ignoring the burning sensation in their eyes, they told the confused tellers not to worry, claiming that their faces were invisible. Naturally, the employees and the bank’s security cameras had no issue seeing their uncovered faces, and the pair was quickly caught.
When they were confronted with the security footage, the men were shocked. “But I wore the juice!” Wheeler exclaimed to the detectives. This incident inspired psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger to study the phenomenon where individuals lack the awareness of their own limitations. This became known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, which posits that the least competent individuals tend to be the most confident in their abilities, including criminals. https://www.britannica.com/story/what-know-it-alls-dont-know-or-the-illusion-of-competence
2. Unknown: Poynton, Scotland
In February 2013, a group of criminal masterminds hatched a plan to tunnel into a bank vault by digging through the ceiling into the Royal Bank of Scotland in Poynton. The meticulously planned heist had one glaring flaw: the robbers didn’t double-check the location of the bank. Instead of breaking into the vault, they tunneled into the empty office space next door.
The robbers attempted once more to break into the bank by making another hole in the ceiling, this time leading to a different room. Unfortunately, they still couldn’t complete their heist and left empty-handed. Local police are now seeking tips from the public, as they work to identify the frustrated suspects.
1. Forest Kelly Bissonnette: Englewood, Colorado
On September 5, 2007, Forest Kelly Bissonnette attempted to rob a Bank of the West by handing a teller a note that read, “Give me all the money in your drawer Now.” The note was written on Bissonnette’s own personal bank check, which had his name and account number on the back. Though he tried to cover them up, the details were still visible and readable.
Bissonnette managed to leave with $5000, but the FBI soon issued a warrant for his arrest. He eventually turned himself in to the authorities.
